Now here's my first issue with the dog park, there's always THOSE people there. You know, the kind that follow their dog around and start having panic attacks the second another dog comes within a 3 foot radius of theirs. Ummm....hello....you're at a DOG PARK people! Simmer down, let the dogs live a little. He's not going to go all Kujo on you, he's just trying to spit some game! Now let my dog sniff your dog's butt and deal with it!
Secondly, there's always the PSA...the poop scoop avoider. If your dog took a dump, CLEAN IT UP! Don't leave Fluffy's doo-doo butter in the middle of the park for the rest of the dogs to frolic in. I really have no desire for Bruiser and Sampson to be bringing home Fluffy's cling-ons on their cute little paws. Grab a bag, grab the poop. Easy enough.
Thirdly, if your dog is friggin rabid and fighting EVERY other dog in the park, take him home and try again tomorrow! I know it takes time to get them adjusted, but don't force the issue. Owners take their dogs to have a good time, not to come home with a vet bill.
And last but not least, dogs LOVE me. Ok, I know this has nothing to do with dog park etiquette, but it's the truth! I'm like the friggin Snow White of the dog park kingdom. Come to me my animal friends! Last night those dogs were sniffing my junk like I had a slab of beef jerky smuggled in my bra. And apparently my post dinner flatulence must have smelt like rainbows and bacon because they were practically chewing my farts.
But its all worth it, because we come home and my babies do this.....
{It's lights out and sweet dreams for these guys}













Fluffy's doo-doo butter - BAHAHA that's great. Idiots I tell you. If that were me, I'd get even closer to those idiots just to screw with them. I'd also clean up their poop and put it right behind their driver's side tire just for good measure.
ReplyDeletehahaha i love this. well put and well said. your boys are the bomb diggity.
ReplyDeleteDUDE you are so funny, but yesss, I agree, love the doggy park comments.. I hate that no one picks up the poop!
ReplyDeleteI live in nowheresville...no doggie park!
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny, I have never heard of so many words for dog poop.
ReplyDeleteMy co worker goes to a dog park and always has interesting stories to tell.... another reason I need a dog.
Dude I love you. I hated going to the dog park with Dumb Dog though b/c he never got adjusted. He humped everything w/a va-jay-jay and he tried to rip the face offa everything without one. He was a beagle. A little butt beagle! He really was kinda dumb though. Obviously.
ReplyDeleteYou really have a way with words, and farts, oh cheesy one!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful that you wear them out like that. Bonus to the experience. But I wonder what kind of scent you give off.... ;)
ReplyDelete"And apparently my post dinner flatulence must have smelt like rainbows and bacon because they were practically chewing my farts."
ReplyDeleteThis almost made me cry. I like you so much.
The people that make me flip a biscuit are the pet owners who bring their excitable dogs to the outdoor patio at a restaurant. This one gal brought her dog who barked at EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE!
However, because SHE was having a good time, the only thing she would do was occasionally yell, "Molly!" That was it.
Poor dog behavior is due to poor dog leadership! And Molly was a victim!
I can always count on you to make me smile and laugh! Love it and loved your tweet last night.
ReplyDeleteDoo doo butter haha
ReplyDeleteWe don't have a dog park in Cancun, but that's ok. All my neighbors think it's in awesome idea to let their massive dogs loose on the street at night to scare the shit out of my poodles and take steaming dumps in my front yard.
Dogs love me too. They just flock to me. Mine stare at me with goo goo eyes pretty much anytime I'm not motionless.
You and your gas make me laugh. Silly Queso.
ReplyDeleteyou're just popular with all species; they all know how cool you are!
ReplyDeleteOh I miss the dog park and all its shenanigans! Boyfriend used to live around the corner and up the street from a GREAT dog park (read: good pooper scoopers, pleasant dogs and friendly owners). Morris got to go there all the time, and he was such a happy pup. Now, we live 20 minutes from that dog park, and it involves a ride on the highway, so we don't go anymore. So sad. :-(
ReplyDeleteI don't miss other people's SHEDDING dogs all up on me though. I am allergic to dog fur. My dog has HAIR and sheds less than I do, so keep your allergy bundles away from me, please.
OMG I had to read this one to the hubby!! Hilarious! I'm gonna have to use the doo-doo butter line!
ReplyDeleteHave I told you lately that you amaze my face off pretty much daily?
ReplyDeleteWell, you do.
Also, speaking of Cujo, my grandpa took me (age 5) and my cousin (age 4) to a drive in to see Cujo. He stuck us on top of the car while he was inside sleeping.
I have never dealt with the trauma I experienced.
I am throwing up and laughing at the same time about the chewable farts. This is NOT good as it makes me choke. I'm going to take a bath now.
ReplyDeleteI HATE the dog park!! OMG! I purposely go when there's pretty much no one there. I love all dogs, my dogs do not love all dogs. They only love each other (sometimes) and other chihuahuas. They're fussy bitches like that I guess.
ReplyDeleteOk so I have to admit that I do follow Chloe around the park. BUT that is because I am trying to reassure her when the other dogs come up to her thats what is supposed to happen. But the poo thing I have definitely picked up a number of other peoples dogs poo.
ReplyDeleteI SO Love Them!!! OMG I want to lay and snuggle them...I promise not to sniff their butts! haha
ReplyDeleteAmen, amen! Your 3 points are great ones and sooo true! I've got to find a good dooglet park here in Vancouver. People treat animals better then people here, so I'm sure that there is one not too far away. (We moved to Vancouver, WA a month ago... did I tell you this?! Crazy.)
ReplyDeleteYou are a flippin' wordsmith. I love you!
ReplyDeleteHaha, M is the total Poop Avoider...that's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI'm sitting here picturing you wearing a snow white outfit with some beef jerkey hanging out the front....lmao
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a dog... Ward doesn't want dog pies in the yard so he is totally against it. On the other hand, he really loves dogs and they seem to like him too. Maybe I will just surprise him some day...
ReplyDeleteI wish we had a dog park around here. I don't know of any anywhere close to us. Our little dog would love it. Our big dog...well, we probably wouldn't even take him. He tends to be a little aggressive! And I hate it too when people don't clean up their dogs poo at the park and then I or my child steps in it. Super!
ReplyDeleteAww your boys are so cute, when their sleepy at least lol!
ReplyDeleteDaisy Dayz Home
Dogs love me, too. I think they know I'm a committed cat person...
ReplyDeleteYeah... my arse smells like rainbows and bacon too! I relate woman! I relate!
ReplyDeleteI hate those weirdo's who take their little angry unsocialised dogs to the dog park... then they pick them up everytime a dog even looks at them. Ummm dickhead! Perhaps if you let your crazy mutt sniff another dogs butt he might not be so effin crazy.
I don't want my little Mia rolling in anybodies doo doo butter!!
ReplyDeletei love ur blog header... its so cute :)
ReplyDeleteYour dogs look EXACTLY like my brother in law's. I mean, he has one that looks like each of yours. SO WEIRD.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAA...you are hilarious. I am going to skip over all the poop talk and just say I LOVE those dogs. I have had three boxers and exercise is a MUST and they are by far the cutest dogs on earth.
ReplyDeleteawwww...look at those sweet little guys snoozing
ReplyDeleteI am convinced that my sister commits all of these crimes at the dog park.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I've never been there with her, I am suspicious of her.