Birthdays and Meatloaf....

We're all about the birthdays over here at the House of Cline. We don't celebrate for just one day, oh heck no, we party it up for an entire weekend. Living solely off funfetti cupcakes and red bull. Hardcore, right here. That's how we roll. Well, at least until we hit 30, then we'll just stop celebrating and counting all together...

But in the meantime, we had a blast celebrating Jordan's birthday this last weekend. Saturday night we hosted a little get together to celebrate Jordan's birthday, as well as the birthday of a close family friend too. Lots of food, friends, baked goods, and UFC made for a perfect night. I mean come on, who doesn't love celebrating their birthday by watching grown men beat the crap out of each other? Because we sure do. Sorry for the lack of pics, I was busy being the doting hostess!! Here are some of the highlights...

But first, an explanation. When you see the picture of this 'cake' you're going to find yourself thinking that it looks a wee bit different. There's something off about this cake. Here's the thing. My husband's favorite meal is meatloaf (insert gagging noises here). Blech. Sooooo I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and make a meatloaf cake, complete with mashed potato 'frosting'. It was actually a huge hit!! Yup, feast your eyes on this creation......

I know...you're mouth is totally watering, right??

Little Miss Presley completely zoned out...but still looking adorable!

A handmade duct-tape card with a winking Obama....did I mention Jordan's a
conservative republican who is creeped out by winking?? Perfect.

At least there was a year suscription to Guns & Ammo in it!! Totally redeemed himself!

Hey Atlanta!! This one's for you! My SIL made me this AMAZING Elvis apron that I put to good use cleaning up at one in the morning, hence why I look so haggard!
Oh, and I made you cupcakes too :)

On Sunday we had a more relaxed day and took a faaaaabulous nap and then
took the kids to the dog park for a jammie play date.

Our pups were POOPED after their little outing!
And they looked slightly possessed too... Kinda creepy...

We finished off our hectic weekend with some snugglin' on the couch.
Perfect way to end the perfect weekend...

Now I'm off to go wrap myself in a giant bow and wish my husband a happy birthday!! BWAHAHAHAAA!! Who am I kidding?? I'm gonna sit here and blog. But it's the thought that counts, right?

*******HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!*******
Now, bring that booty over here because it's time for some birthday spankings!! HAAA!!

Taking care of business...

I've been a little MIA this weekend since it's Jordan's Birthday Weekend and we've been riding the party train non-stop and all...toot toot suckas!! BUT I just had to tell you the garage sale extravaganza was a success!! My fanny pack and I kicked some yard sale trash! I came out with some awesome finds and I can't wait to show them to you, but first, I'm taking care of some business...

Thanks to all those who have been kind enough to leave me some AWESOME awards and I'm sorry if I didn't post them!! I got behind in my posting, so I'm starting fresh! I can't wait to pass these tokens of love on.....

The ever-so-sophisticated (and downright hilarious) Jenny Mac over at Let's Have a Cocktail created her OWN award and found this little bloggity blog over here worthy of receiving it! Much love Jenny Mac :) I love you with the intensity of a thousand suns. And thanks to T at Life as a G
for passing on Jenny Mac's original creation, the I give good blog love award to me too....if you were here, I'd hug you!!


The rules for this one are to send this award to 4 bloggers and to tell them why you think they give good blog. Easy enough! Here goes!!

Kristen over at K.Law because she friggin brings it every day with hilarious posts and her undying love for Ryan Reynolds...love this girl!

My secret blog lover Leigh over at Leigh Vs. Laundry...she writes the most amazing poetry and she's just downright awesome because she likes to sing karaoke to Total Eclipse of the Heart.... turn aroooound briiiight eyes...EVERY NOW AND THE I FALL APART!!!

Drollgirl....she's my new guilty pleasure. This chick cracks. me. up....never a dull moment at her blog...pictures of fabio? priceless.

And last but not least....My SIL Atlanta over at Life(ish), because she is hysterically funny and she sent me the BEST surprise in the mail...you're wondering what it is, aren't you?? I'm revealing it later tonight!

Congrats ladies! Love ya!

And many thanks to the adorable Amy at Just add Walter for these next two goodies!! :)

Here’s how this one works: USE ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think. Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to use only one-word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? Somewhere

2. Your hair? Luscious

3. Your mother? Crazy

4. Your father? Dorky

5. Your favorite food? Pizza (le sigh)

6. Your dream last night? HILARIOUS!

7. Your favorite drink? Water

8. Your dream/goal? MILF

9. What room are you in? Kitchen

10. Your hobby? Rapping

11. Your fear? Clowns

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Patient

15. Muffins? Poppy

16. Wish list item? Laptop

17. Where did you grow up? Everywhere

18. Last thing you did? Eat

19. What are you wearing? Socks :)

20. Your TV? Huge (that's what she said)

21. Your pets? Spoiled

22. Friends? Bada**

23. Your life? Perfect

24. Your mood? Hungry

25. Missing someone? Nope

26. Vehicle? Commander

27. Something you’re not wearing? Pants

28. Your favorite store? Target

29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? Today

31. Last time you cried? Earlier

32. Your best friend? Gorgeous!

33. One place that I go to over and over? ER

34. One person who emails me regularly? Anthropologie

35. Favorite place to eat? Home

This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to six bloggers who must choose six more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

Whew, that was A LOT!! So I pass these 2 on to these 6 special ladies that are a constant source of inspiration for me! I heart you all :)

Allyson at Pink Flip Flops and Wine
Shortmama at Family of Shorts
Jessica at This, That, & My Blog
Kristy at Orange Juice
Sarah at That's What She Said
Erin at My Little Miracles

Thanks and congrats to all!! I'll see you all later tonight so I can tell you all about Jordan's hilarious birthday party!

Is it Saturday yet?

Words can not express how excited I am for Saturday. Perhaps an interpretive dance can though...I'll work on that for you. My heart's racing just thinking about Saturday! Twice a year this shindig happens and every time is better than the next. I suppose I should tell you what I'm talking about...I'm about to reveal some of my inner dork to you....are you ready?

The 14th Annual Monster Garage Sale!!!

GLORIOUS!! Whoop Whoop!!

That's right ladies! Over 200 homes of other people's crap just ripe for the picking! You can't see me but I'm shaking with excitement right now. And I will be there. Oh yes, I will....with fanny pack in tow (it's a garage saler's must have for fall '09) and a stack of ones for all these cheap arses.

{My radical fanny pack! Don't hate.}

Now I know some completely crazy people out there don't like garage sales. I get it. I however, LOVE them. Ahhh, the thrill of the hunt!! Because you see, I'm no rookie. No sirree. You're talking to a seasoned veteran right here.

{I wish I had this to place upon my dome}

Paying full price?? BAH! Not this girl. I was born with the wheelin'n'dealin' blood. The peso pinching runs deep in my veins (at least when it comes to garage sales because they're SUPPOSED to be cheap). PLUS, the area where this is held is fabulous! Because yes, I have garage sale standards. I don't go to just any dive to shop. Straight past the ghetto and into the gated communities is where I venture! It is in such a beautiful upscale neighborhood and I can't wait to take their gently to mildly used possessions at a bargain. I've got some kids rooms to decorate up in this piece!! This is the part where I do a mildly wicked chuckle and rub my greedy hands together.

Hopefully I'll be able to beat some of those hardcore early birds. You know those people. The obnoxious ones that show up an hour EARLIER than you're supposed to, trying to gaffle all the good stuff, usually right in the middle of when you're setting up shop. The best is when they just roll by slowly without even stopping. They check out the goods from a distance because heaven forbid they waste any of their time!! Hello, ruuuude. At least wave! Ughhh. I loathe those people.

But I'll be there with my game face on and my fanny pack securely attached. I've been preparing for this day...it's time to put all my training to use. Hopefully I come back with some fantastic loot!

In other news, Jordan's birthday is on Monday and I have NO FRIGGIN CLUE what to get him. Any suggestions??

And thankfully, my mood has lifted and the days are getting better. Curses to this week! HISS!! So glad it's almost over!

Last but not least...I have an AWESOME surprise in store for next week. I'm dying to share, but I just can't!!! But soon, my loves, soon.....have a fabulous Friday!

Confession time...

I was going to wait before breaking the news to all of you...but I can't take it anymore. The suspense is KILLING me!! For quite some time now there's been 'someone else'. Uh-huh, that's right. A man to be exact. But not just any man...

He's dependable. Understanding. Patient. Good with his hands. He's pretty much amazing...

Don't worry...Jordan knows all about him. He's actually been so reasonable with everything. Jordan even talked to him on the phone the other morning and told him it was okay if he came over in the afternoon. I was so impressed at how well he was handling all of this.

And it's not like this is something new. He's been coming to the house on an off for the last 2 years. He's like part of the family already....you guys are going to LOVE him. Don't worry. I know you will. In fact, I snuck a picture of him so you guys can have a peek!! You ready??

I present...'Tom' (names have been changed to protect identity)
...my geek squad knight in shining armor...
isn't he dreamy?

{la la la love my mustard purse too...}

He really is the best. Plus, he's great with the kids. They just love him, maybe it's because he brings them bubble wrap when he comes over. It all started when our fridge broke for the FIRST time...he showed up, worked his magic and life was never the same. Now after several broken appliances and countless home visits, we've formed quite the bond. He even told me yesterday that he's getting me a NEW FRIDGE!! Something about ours being un-repairable (sure 'Tom'. 'un-repairable'... you tell them whatever you need to) . Who needs jewels and baubles when you can get a NEW FRIDGE?!! Now that is the language of luuuuuuuurrrvvee.


However, I've made the decision that 'Tom' and I must go our separate ways....I'll never forget everything he's done for me. I'll think of him every time I grab an ice cold sugar free Red Bull out of my new fridge...but there's too many people involved...there are others that need him, who depend on him. I can't be selfish any longer....I'm cutting the ties.

Thanks for the memories 'Tom'...and the bubble wrap. Thanks for the bubble wrap.

A little pick me up...

I'm not sure why, but this week has started off with a bah-hum-bug feel to it. Nothing majorly bad has happened, I think it's just a combo of small things all attacking at once. So instead of writing about how 3 1/2 years after getting married I'm officially bummed out that we never had a traditional 'wedding' (just now hit me...long story....different day), I've decided to post things that make me happy!! Because if it's one thing I will not be, it's a Debbie Downer....wah wah wahhh. Without further adieu....I present you with my Random Crap That Makes Me Happy list! BOOYA!

This friggin-fantastic-need-it-on-my-finger-now ring from this awesome etsy shop!!
{awesome find K!}


Here's a toofer. The Hoff and puppies! Priceless! Happy dance over here!


Murder, She Wrote....hands down, best show ever!! Jessica Fletcher's
my homey. Don't hate.


The Mullet. A well kept mullet always brightens my day!


Chuck Norris. Enough said.



For some reason, catching people pick their nose always cracks me up!!
Get it Chuck, you deserve it!


And last but not least...Watching models take a spill. It's petty, I know.
But hey,you can't be gorgeous, skinny, and coordinated.
It's just not fair. So that's right honey, go on
and bite the dust! Or better yet, bite a twinkie.


See, aren't you happy now?

Operation: Iron Stomach

I've reached my breaking point and it's not going to be pretty. I have been SO patient. I have tried SO hard...but I'm on the edge folks. It's been some time now since Dr.X ruined my life and took away all things delicious and delectable. Telling me some hogwash about 'allergies shmallergies' and 'IBS' , having to change my diet and what not. What a bunch of crap. And I have to say that I've been pretty dang good about heeding this quack's orders...but if I don't have some friggin dairy and loaf of bread I'm gonna lose it. It really hit me last night when we took the offspring to the Rite Aid to treat them to some delicious Thrifty's ice cream (it's like heaven in your mouth in case you've never tried it) when all of a sudden my emotions over came me and suddenly I was angry. Frustrated and angry. It has been SO long since I've had a meal I've truly enjoyed. It's been SO long since I could just peruse the pantry and sit down with a smorgasbord of snacks. But I think the most frustrating part is, is that it has been SO long since I've truly been satisfied after eating.

So....I've devised a plan. I'm scheduling a cheat day! Mmmmhmmmm....It's gonna be glorious!

Diet? Pffftt....What diet??

Bust out the dairy, bring on the gluten, screw all the allergies....it's on like donkey kong!!

Hello lover...oh how I miss thee...let me count the ways....

Oh I can see it now!! A giant bagel slathered in cream cheese for breakfast. A grilled cheese and milkshake from In n out for lunch..mmmm...a baguette with spinach dip for a snack...yeah, now I'm really talking dirty....I have to admit I'm slightly drooling and shaking in anticipation....even getting a little gassy just thinking about it...stupid IBS.

I heart you too delicious....one day, you will be mine...

I may even throw in some fro yo and a pizza just to really seal the deal. I figured I'd have to spend all day on the throne anyway. Like they say, you do the crime you pay the time. I don't even care. I'll eat a friggin sandwich on the pot. It's totally worth it. I mean if I'm gonna get sick from eating a piece of cheese, I may as well eat the whole pizza, right?!

I wouldn't even have to leave....I could blog to my heart's content...

But don't worry. I'll take the proper precautions. I'll take my special concoction I've dubbed the Operation: Iron Stomach. I'm using the heavy artillery to fight this battle folks. The pepto, the prescription, the imodium, chased with a shot of Maalox. I think it's safe to say, there will be casualties. But it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! And this girl's gotta eat some frackin dairy before she loses it!!

Ok. I feel better now. I just had to vent...I'm gonna go google pizza now and lick the moniter. Hope you guys are having an awesome weekend! And a big fat hug to all the new readers, thanks for hanging out!

My Ritalin love affair...

I'm not sure who's happier it's Friday, me or Mason's new first grade teacher? That poor poor dear unsuspecting woman. Maybe I should buy her a fruit basket to try and win her over! Because by the time Mason's done with her she's gonna need therapy and a straight jacket. I'm just speaking from experience. Because in case you didn't know, while Mason is a funny, loving, sensitive, and giving little boy..... he is also a bouncing off the wall, never stops talking, doing a little jig in the corner, holy crap do you ever stop moving, little bit of sass with a whole lotta crazy little boy. Needless to say Ritalin is my best friend. My BFF. We were destined for eachother...if we were a celebrity couple our name would be Riticia. But I digress...

So now that school has started, that means his Ritalin dosage goes up a touch. I was really concerned about this because my little man is a friggin stick. He makes Kate Moss look chubby. Ok, not really that skinny, but I wanted to say that. But he's pretty thin and I was concerned that raising his dosage would cause him to lose more weight. (Don't we all wish we had this problem?) So I called up the trusty pediatrician to talk about some options for Mason and you know what he tells me??? (This is the part that life's just truly unfair)


He tells me that I need to give him a big bowl of ice cream with a big cup of milk EVERY night before bedtime.


Sphincter says what?!


Yup. Ice cream and milk. That's why doctor's get paid the big bucks. He went through YEARS of higher education to prescribe that treatment. He proceeded to tell me some bull about how it will make up for the calories he loses during the day...blah blah blah. Don't mind me, I'm just jealous.

But do you realize what that means for him?? That means that on days like today where he proceeded to:

- fart in class and tell everyone about it (that's my boy!!)
- bust out his lunch in the middle of class and start eating while the teacher is in the middle of a lesson!
- tell the crossing guard all about how mommy was nekked
- and throw a colossal fit over who knows what...

that he gets to have a huge bowl of ice cream??? WHAT THE FRACKITY FRAK?! This is like every parent's worst nightmare. What did you say Mason? You punched your brother in the mouth? Here, have some ice cream. You were playing with matches in the neighbors garage? Why don't you tell me all about it over a bowl of ice cream. This higher dose better be worth it!! Or else Riticia will be breaking up! Keep your fingers crossed for today!

peeee essss- I'm a guest blogger over at Made You Blush....go check it out!

peee eessss essss!! Holy crap today's my day!!! I'm featured at Project Mommywood as a finalist for Mommy blogger of the year!! (i'm still trying to figure out who was riding the crazy train that day and nominated me!!) Go check it out!!! My baby blog is up against the big dogs!!

I'd rather give birth...

This whole back-to-school thing has just thrown me off! Showering before noon??? That sucks!! And less time for blogging? Well that's just stupid. However! I do need to tell you about today...

For starters, I HATE going to the dentist. I detest it. LOATHE IT! I would rather give birth to triplets than go to the dentist. Well today I had to go to the carnival of horrors and get a temporary crown put it. I've had this appointment scheduled for weeks. Circled in black marker with unhappy faces on my calender....mocking me. At last the time arrived.

I took a deep breath and stepped into the office when the anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. As I sat in the chair waiting for the doctor to come in, his assistant came in to do the prep. His gorgeous assistant. Sigghhh. As if coming in wasn't hard enough, now I have to stare at her while she vacuums spit out of my mouth? Perfect. Why couldn't I get the haggard looking chick in the other room?! This was already off to a bad start. I was ready to just cut my losses and make a run for it. Who needs teeth, right? Meth addicts don't, why do I? But the doctor came in...dun dun duuun!

He was ready to get the party started, let me tell you! 4 shots of novacaine later we were having a rousing game of 'how many metal tools can we stick in alicia's mouth at once'. Loads of fun. Truly. I would have been paying more attention to the game if I didn't have the lovely assistant staring at me with her giant doe eyes while spit and residue splattered all over my face and in my hair. I'm pretty sure I had a booger or something because I swear lovely assistant Bambi was looking up my nose the whole time. It didn't help that I had to fart so I was squeezing my butt cheeks together like there was a hundred dollar bill between them, in fear of letting out a silent but violent! Dang IBS.

Once the dentist had done his dirty work he left me in Bambi's hands so she could place the temporary crown. This would have been fine except for the fact that Bambi was completely incompetent. As she set, reset, and removed the crown time after time after time after...you get the idea....well I thought I was going to hog tie the chick with floss and make a break for it. I can just see the headlines...."Crazed drooling woman goes on dental floss rampage"....But on the bright side, in between the pain and the frustration I caught some pieces of the Beach Boys 'cocomo' playing.

FINALLY she set the dang thing and told me to rinse. I threw back the mouthwash and began to swish it around when I noticed it dripping all over the sink and my shirt. Apparently my mouth was still numb and I was drooling...slightly...a LOT slightly. Let me tell you I make one heck of an impression. I looked like the Joker on crack with half my mouth slightly curved down with a line of dribble running down. But at least it was over...for now!

All I know is the next time I go, Bambi better go frolic in a field or something because there's no way she's touching these pearly whites again!

Peeee Esss: I've been a bad blogger, there's a lot going on, but I will be back commenting soon!

Meet Los Mustachios...

I have to say I've really been feeling the blog lovin' lately. Thanks to all the fabulous people who find my random writing about nonsense worthy of sexy tags, fun awards, and what not. However, there was a certain random act of blog love kindness that I just HAD to share with you....I really could not deprive you of the wonder of...the Stylish Mustaches. That's right, I said it. They're a little bit of heaven on earth.

Thanks to my wonderful blog buddy Taylor for these AWESOME faux facial hair pieces...we've had a blast here at the House of Cline so I thought I'd share our fun with you! Without further ado, I introduce you to Los Mustachios....A style for everyday!

Featuring Mason as The Hollywood...

Jordan as The Hero...

Alicia as The Square...

Kitchen Pig as The Bruiser...

Bruiser as The Weasel...


Little Miss Presley as The Sheriff...


(Which was followed by this...)


Sampson as The Grandpa...


Even the Cheeseballs got in on the action!! Carma this one is for you!!


And Boogie was having nothing to do with these rad staches, buuuut I didn't want him to feel
left out. Thank goodness for photoshop!

So.....here he is. With his new, ahem, 'haircut'.

Note to self: Check clipper guard BEFORE cutting commences.

And in the spirit of blog lovin' I'm participating in a sweet pay it forward gig. So if you'd like to receive some of my used crap...I mean, an AWESOME gift...be one of the first three to comment and let me know!!

Long live The King....

Here's a little something about me you may not know....I am a HUGE Elvis fan. Yeah. I'm pretty awesome, I know. I may or may not have even named a child after said Elvis. Granted it was a girl, but that's neither here nor there. Either way, Presley is a dang cute name. But I'm getting off track.

I'll be the first to admit that Elvis in his later years was on a downhill slope. He wasn't quite the musician, entertainer, or person he had been in his youth, but he was still The King. And he will always be The King, despite what Kanye West may think, no one will ever take his place.

32 years ago today The King hung up his Blue Suede Shoes....

Now I'm gonna go shake it to some Hound dog! Long live The King!!

{Images from Google search}

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUU

Hey Orange Juice!! This one's for you!!

My dearest Kristy....

Have a FANTASTIC birthday ya old hag!!!

That's a whole lotta spankings!!

Thanks for being an AMAZING blog buddy...

And for chatting with me into the wee hours of the night!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Go on everyone and wish this lady a happy birthday!

Our ER Anniversary...

**WARNING: Not for the squeamish!**

My kids have their timing all wrong. They never seem to do the things they should do when Daddy is home when he IS ACTUALLY HOME! Nooooo, heaven forbid. They save it all for me. Whoopity-frickin-do. All the diaper explosions. All the projectile vomiting. All the trips to the ER. Yup, all for me. And since we are falling upon the one year anniversary of our worst ER trip to date I thought that I would tell you a little tale.

It was mid-August of last summer and I was around 5 months pregnant with Little Miss Presley. It was early in the morning and Jordan had left not too long before for work. Boogie was still asleep in his crib like the angel baby that he was, before the devil's juice started pumping in his veins on his second birthday that is, and a 4 yr old little Mason was running a muck like he normally did in the morning.

Now I hadn't been awake long and as I was waddling my way to the bathroom, probably picking my wedgie at the time, I could hear Mason running laps around the living room, through the kitchen, and around the front room. Round and around and around and WHAM!

My heart dropped into my stomach.

Then came the shriek.

I ran to the front room and saw Mason standing there, head gashed wide open. And I mean WIDE open, dripping in blood. I know!!! ON MY CARPET!! I kid. I joke. Settle down. I was concerned about him first, then the carpet.

As I swept him up in my arms and did a quick assessment of the situation I found that Mason had ran straight into the corner of the tile counter. He had hit with such force that he literally cracked the tile OFF OF THE COUNTER. To this day it is still cracked and serves as a daily reminder to not run in the house! But I digress...

As I held him bleeding in my arms I did the first thing that came to mind. A towel! I needed to apply pressure to the wound, that much I knew. But I was terrified! I didn't know the severity of the wound and my crazed pregnant hormones were on an emotional rampage. Struggling to stay calm and bawl at the same time I ran next door to the neighbors house. I pounded on the door and my neighbor came out and went into emergency mode as soon as he saw the state Mason was in. The next few minutes were a blur. The Mrs called 911. The Mr held Mason and applied pressure to his head. And I...well...I looked down to realize that I wasn't wearing pants. Nope. There I was in their living room, their 6 kids staring wide eyed at the entire situation, sitting in my skivvies and a pajama top. Sighhh. Of course. At the time, that was the least of my worries.

By the time I secured Boogie with the Mrs, found a pair of pants, and borrowed some shoes we were herded into the ambulance on our way to the ER. Now you're probably wondering how Mason was faring through out all of this. Let me just tell you. HE LOVED IT! In 2 minutes flat he had won the hearts of the firefighters (yeah, they came out for it too, this was a big deal in our town that morning) and of the paramedics. As they strapped him to the gurney they adorned him with stickers and a stuffed animal. What did the crazy pregnant chick with mascara running down her puffy face get? Nothing. Except maybe a few judging looks and a couple of tsk-tsks.

As we pulled into the hospital parking lot I see Jordan and I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I remembered he had taken his motorcycle to work that day and after doing the math in my head I'm afraid to even ask how fast he was going. All I know is it was WAY faster than legal, or safe for that matter!

After assuring every firefighter, paramedic, nurse, and doctor that I didn't beat my kid we were settled into a room. Mason basked in the attention and the staff was more than willing to give the sweet little boy with the horrid gash any and every thing he asked for. 3 stitches and a row of staples later we were on our merry way home. On the bright side, he did sit on the couch for the rest of the day, giving me a little and much needed break.

So the moral of the story: always wear pajama bottoms to bed in case your kids decide to bleed profusely from the head before breakfast!

My happy little camper nestled onto the couch for the day...

This was part of Mama Kat's writer's workshop, go on and check her out!

It's a full moon tonight...

After a quick conversation with my scrumptious piece of man meat this evening I found myself wondering.....Did we really just talk about this?

Let me set the mood...late night....watching some Kathy Griffin on the telly...

Me: Look, babe, you can die happy. You just saw Rosie O'Donnell's butt! She just mooned the camera!!!


Him: Ugghh. That's sick.

Me: Man, I wish I could moon people all the time. That'd be so rad!

Him: You couldn't. Every time you showed your butt your naughty would hang out.

Me: Nu-uhhh, you just have to do it right. Trust me.

Him: You couldn't do it without everything hanging out.

Me: Yes I could. You just have to position yourself right.


Him: No. You can't!

Me: YES! I can.

Him: Show me.

Me: (blank stare....*crickets*) You just wanna see my butt!!! Dirty.



But then again...we did debate whether or not Lady Gaga was a hermaphrodite for a good 45 minutes the other day. Soooo....guess arguing about full moons is considered normal in our house.

Baby Showers and Crisco...

On Saturday, Le Brooke and I hosted a faaaaabulous baby shower for one of our besties, Eliza. After many late nights planning, glittering, cooking, and decorating we managed to pull it off. We were ready to shower said baby. We were so happy to be able to spoil our niece-to-be with tons of mouthwatering food, amazing decorations a la Brooke, and great friends. Here are some photos of the festivities...for your viewing pleasure...

Scrumptious goods made by the baking master, Courtney...

The delicious spread, complete with virgin mimosas and chocolate covered strawberries....
Nom nom nom..

Some of the adorable little touches from the bird themed shower...


The gorgeous mama to be opening all the loot...


Me, Courtney & baby to be, Eliza & baby to be, and Le Brooke..

All in all it was a fantastic affair! Eliza, we love you, but I'm SO glad it's over!! HA! Now we have to start planning Courtney's! WHOOP WHOOP!!!

So wait...you're probably wondering about the crisco. Well, you know how every group of friends has that one crazy guy that will do, say, and eat pretty much anything? You know who I'm talking about. Ours is lovingly nicknamed Dizzle. This guy equals hours and hours of entertainment, oh let me tell you!! I once got him to eat a sandwich made with jufran banana sauce, peanut butter, ketchup, and tartar sauce. Vomit in my mouth. Well this weekend....I got him to EAT CRISCO!!! SEEEEEEEE!!

Blech. Seriously gag.

We videtaped the horrifying incident, but trust me, you don't want to see it. Just thinking about it makes me dry heave. But since he was such a good sport I decided to make him a special treat.

A personalized chocolate covered banana...
awwww, I'm so nice.

The rest of the weekend kind of paled in comparison. Just the normal stuff like Presley peeing ALL OVER the floor and having horrid stomach pains for cheating on my diet. Nothing exciting. What about you?

Bundle of joy...

I didn't want to say anything until we were sure. But...we've made a life altering decision! I'm so excited I could puke! I thought my days of pale pink were over....I was wrong. I was expecting more of a fight from the husband, but actually he was totally down for my change of heart. All I had to do was threaten him with his life...and maybe a hunting knife. Either way. I had told him I was done. I didn't want a new one...I lied. He appeased me.

Today changed my life, for the better. And there's no going back now. I hope I'm ready for this! Full steam ahead fools! I just can't stop thinking of how this is going to change my family. This means less time with the 3 kids I already have...I'm going to have to adjust my entire life!! But it's totally worth it. And how do I explain to the others that I have a new favorite. Maybe when they see this pink bundle of joy they'll understand....but I'm showing you all first....

Well, what do you think?

Isn't she adorable?! She's my new phone....the sweet little dear. I've named her Finley. Well what did you think I was talking about?! Not a baby, right?! That's insane! You can't see me, but I'm scoffing at you! Pointing and scoffing!

Yeah. So I never thought I'd get the blackberry. I never saw the point...UNTIL...we went on vacation and I had NO access to the world wide web. I was seriously detoxing in a bad way. Twitching and convulsing and all that crap until my step mama (whom I love with the burning intensity of a thousand suns) gave me her beloved blackberry. It was like a slice of heaven mine for the taking. Angels were singing and the crazed look in my eye faded....just a tad. So what did my delicious man meat do? Order me my very own pink baby so he doesn't have to deal with a deranged wife foaming at the mouth for a laptop with wi-fi I can get a fix whenever I need it! Glooooriooousss!! I can take you all in my pocket wherever I go! Doesn't that make you feel better?! It should!! Look, here's her first photo...

You're probably wondering what the freak that is. Look very close! See where the arrows are pointing? It's an egg testicle. I wasn't aware that they had them until tonight. Brooke and I blew a carton of eggs. Mind-gutter-OUT! We had to empty the eggs to decorate them...long story...and upon doing this we discovered that yolks are fairly well endowed. Who knew? I'm pretty sure this egg would have been a champion breeder. What a pity.