The Toilet Paper Throwdown...

2 DAYS!

For 2 days I've had to wipe my 'personals' with NAPKINS! And it's not because I'm out of toilet paper. I have PLENTY of toilet paper. It's because my husband is stubborn. Here's the thing...if you FINISH the roll, then you REPLACE the roll. Right? Right!!!

WRONG, as far as Jordan is concerned at least. Do you know what he did??? He left the cardboard roll for me. umexcuseme?! It's like a slap in the face! I have IBS and food allergies folks. When it comes to bathroom time a cardboard roll isn't going to stand a chance against my artillery! I need something with durability! Like my heavy duty double quilted bath tissue. So I'm staring at the empty roll and ask my husband sweetly, "Babe....center of my universe....sunshine in my life...would you please go grab me some toilet paper? Thank you love, I do so appreciate it." **bats eyelashes**

You know what this fool did? He handed me a wash cloth. A-hem. I birthed your children with this....and you hand me a WASH CLOTH.....Fine. I'll use your stupid wash cloth....but this means WAR! I refused to put a new roll on. He finished the last one and he WOULD replace it with a new one! And so it began....

And for the last 2 days I've been either sneaking off to use the kids bathroom, using napkins from the kitchen (holy chaffing batman, pass the Boudreaux's butt paste!), or smuggling toilet paper in my bra. I mean a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!!

I'm making a statement here folks. I'm proving a point!!

And guess what...I WON! That's right! Victory is mine! You know how you spell victory? A-L-I-C-I-A! Because last night, I came home and found this waiting for me....

{Now this is love....18 rolls of love}

{Soooo much softer than napkins...and towels...and socks...ha!}

And now if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with my toilet, Good Housekeeping magazine, and 18 rolls of deliciously soft toilet paper.

Soooo?? What do you think???

I chopped off the mane!!!


{She got a little crazy with the shears!! Holy shortness batman!!}

{From the front.....}

{From the back...}

{Ta-da!!! This girl gives it 2 thumbs up!!}

Thanks for all the hair advice folks!! I feel like a new woman....and for some reason, Jordan's totally flirting with me and calling me Sofia. Weird.

Talking dirty to carbs...

Dear Manna from heaven,

Warm, delicious, flaky, doughy goodness that you are...

I miss you baby. My darling bread, it's been far too long. I've tried to stop thinking about you....really I have. But I can't get you out of my mind! Rye, Wheat, Sourdough, Ciabatta, Flat bread....I'm talking dirty now!! What I wouldn't give for a french baguette and a tub of butter. I'd slather you up like its nobody's business. Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln I would mess. you. up....that's the truth.

{Mmmmm....come to mama...}

And while we're at it, let's heat things up and bring your friend Cheese along. It's been a while since dairy and I have been together, but I've been known to throw back a couple of grilled cheese in my day....now we're really talking. Don't be scared. I'll take reeeeeal good care of you. Even the crust...I love it all. Nothing says 'I love you' like melted cheese on a slice of heavenly carb goodness...and baby, I Loooooove you. With a capital L.

{Nom nom nom...}

Don't look at me like that....I've tried to walk away from you! But you're there every time I turn around....tempting me. Calling me from the pantry. Taunting me with that delicious aroma!! I've tried to forget about you, distracting myself with steamy vegetable affairs and sweet fruit lovin'. It's just not the same...I just want you to know how much I miss you. Those rice and potatoes mean nothing to me! Just remember that. I'll never find another love like you....

With all my love...

My stomach

*bread pic borrowed from living in peru & grilled cheese from sodahead

And then there were two....

SUCK IT FAVRE!!!! BOOYA!!!

{Future Colts fans of America Fan Club}

I can't tell you how excited I am to see my Colts face the Saints in the SUPERBOWL!! I love you Summer B, I hope we're still friends after the Saints go DOWN...I can't wait to paint my stomach blue and practice my end zone dance! GLORIOUS!!

Hahaa!!!! Ok. Now that I've got that out of the way I feel MUCH better.

This weekend was non-stop. Friday night we partied it up at the VFW awards banquet downtown where my pops was the proud recipient of the HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER OF THE YEAR award for the state of California! Whoop whoop!! It was awesome being able to celebrate this honor with him. He served our country in the Air Force for many MANY years and now serves as a JROTC instructor in a rough part of the state. Changing hooligans one student at a time!! We love you pops!

And since Grandpa and Nana were here, the kids were more than happy to parade them all over town. First stop: Train museum. Woot Woot!!


The kids, and Jordan, had a BLAST. But if I had to hear one more 'caboose' joke, or one more 'all aboard' crack I was going to LOSE IT! Although....Jordan did look pretty good in that conductor hat. Choo choo....

But crap, its Monday again and there's only one thing on my mind...a new hair style!! YES! And I desperately need your help! No joke folks...after last weeks hot mess of a medusa mane I'm at a loss of what to do with my hair. Long or short? Curly or straight?? HELP!

Short???

Or long???

Sorry, the pics are crappy, but you get the idea. If I went shorter I would go a tad bit shorter than the first pics. HELP!!! I need your honest opinions!!!

What do YOU think I should do???

Is it Friday yet??

**Breathe in.....Breathe out**

My dog took a massive steaming dump on the carpet.


Boogie spilled his juice ALL OVER the couch.


Jersey Shore's season finale is tonight....**SOB**tear**WAHHHHHH!!!!


The friggin rain knocked over our fence.

{Say hi to the neighbors!!}


And it's only 10 in the morning....


On the bright side, UPS is bringing me a big package today! That's what she said...

I can't wait to get these puppies in my hands! Did I mention that Jordan ordered them for me?? If I didn't know any better I would think he was trying to raid my pantaloons...you naughty little monkey. Have I told you how cute my husband is?? See for yourself....

{Say it with me...1..2..3..awwwwww}

I'm gonna go knock back some midol with an ice cold red bull now and watch some Murder, She Wrote...that always makes my day better...

So how's your Thursday?!

I wanna shave my head...

I hate my hair.

Correction. I HAAAAAAATE my hair.

The other day I was telling Frenchie how it takes me 2 hours to straighten my hair. No joke. I've got a mop fools. Straight horse tail on this head of mine. Thick, unruly, and TONS of it! And to make things worse, my hair is CURLY. Well Frenchie didn't believe me, so I told her I would wear my hair ALL NATURAL for a whole day just to show her my massive fro and how it friggin grows like a chia pet on crack throughout the day...Luckily for you guys I took a ton of completely unflattering pics (kinda hard to see the curls since my hair is so dark, but I tried)...Without further adieu, I present to you...

A day in the life of my fro...

{Fresh out of the shower...tame for the time being}

{Don't be deceived...it only looks nice for a hot minute}

{On the way to school....see...slowly growing}

{Lunchtime! The curls are multiplying like rabbits on my dome! Blah...}

{Running the lion's mane in the afternoon}

And last but not least.....

{BEDTIME! No joke. This is my hair if I were to just leave it all natural.}

And that ladies and gentleman is why my flat iron is my bff and why those 2 painstaking hours of straightening this beast are SO FRIGGIN' WORTH IT! It'd be different if it were the 80s....I'd tease the crap out of these locks and flippin WORK IT!! Buuuuut it's not the 80s and people looked at me weird all day....so tomorrow if you need me I'll be having a hot date with my biosilk and my flat iron.

Tofu smackdown!!

Someone decided THIS was a good idea.

"Mr. Bacon doesn’t like Monsieur Tofu’s uppity “healthier than thou” attitude, and Monsieur Tofu is offended by Mr. Bacon’s sloppy, greasy lifestyle. Unfortunately, their feud is about to boil over into violence thanks to this Bacon vs. Tofu action set. Each figure comes bendable arms and legs." {Product and description from HERE}


I'd like to shake their hand and hug them. It's pointless. It's useless. And I want it!! NAY! I neeeeeeeed it!! This pretty much summarizes Jordan's and my relationship to the T. Well, maybe not the relationship so much, but if we were food....THIS WOULD BE US! Obviously he'd be the towering slab of bacon (thats what she said.HA!) and I'd be the mustachioed square of tofu...complete with monocle! They're GLORIOUS! But then again....my judgment may be impaired...it is 1:30 in the morning.

Have an awesome Monday folks!

ps...remember when you were a kid and you were SO excited for days off from school? uh-huh. remember when you were a parent and you cried because you're kids had the day off from school? yeah........

T.G.I.Friggin F.

Friggin A.....Friday at last! It's been one heck of a week and all I have to say is get me a baby sitter and an ice cold red bull! STAT! Now that the kids are done barfing on my linens and my sanity is slowly crawling back to me I can share a few of the highlights from this week....

Boogie started pre-school and is doing FABULOUS! BOOYA!!

{He's a man on a mission!! Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk!}

{I'm not sure...but I think he liked school! Just a guess.}


I mastered my guidette poof...

{Channeling my inner Snooki...they call me Wookie...if you need me I'll be beating up the beat.}


And last but not least...
drum roll please....


The Little Miss walks the walk!! This one's a must see!!



{Baby girl's got her sea legs!! *Tear* Now I can teach her how to drop it like its hot! Ye-yeah!}


Have a fantastic weekend folks! I know I will!

ps- anyone catch jersey shore????? best.show.ever.

Roses and weiners....I mean winners

(No this is not a Bachelor re-cap post!)

Here's the thing with roses. They mean something. They're special....symbolic, if you will. People just don't understand the value of a rose anymore.You don't just GIVE a rose away to any gussied up floozy who waves her ta-tas in your face.....a carnation...MAYBE. Or perhaps a dandelion. Shoot, I wouldn't even give half of those bimbos a TWIG! But I'm getting off track. A rose is reserved for the elite things in life! For instance...if I had 10 roses, you know who they'd go to??? Let me tell you...

1. My family...of course. You may all be friggin nut jobs, but you're my nut jobs and I have this strange fondness for you. Weird. Take the rose fools.

2. Red Bull...oh my dear sweet carbonated deliciousness. I've said some crazy things in the past, like 'I'm gonna limit you!' or 'I really should drink more water!'. But that's just gibberish! You know I don't really mean that. I couldn't function live without you in my life! So what do you say, will you accept this rose?

3. Murder, She Wrote...I'd give you an entire rosebush! That's how much you mean to me. Through the past years we've formed an unbreakable bond that I've come to depend on. I'd be honored if you continued to unmask murderers with me until the wee hours of the night. Will you accept this rose?

4. Ritalin...I held off on letting you into our lives for SO long. The day you finally arrived changed our lives (and Mason's well being) forever. Plus, you're so much cheaper than crack. Will you accept this rose?

5. Blackberry...Do you hear the angels singing? That's because of you. You're a little slice of heaven on earth, and you fit right in the palm of my hand! Glorious! Will you accept this rose?

6. Flat iron...Let's just say that without you I'd be sporting the Brit-Brit shaved head circa 2007. PLEASE accept this rose!

7. The Hoff...you're classy. Sophisticated. You've changed the world with your angelic voice. You still make my heart go pitter-patter when you run slow mo in the sand....sigh. It'd be hofftastic if you'd accept this rose.

8. Oxi clean...I couldn't have survived this last weekend without you. And neither could my boy's skivvies!! Note to males: Just because you have a racing stripe in your chonies doesn't mean you're fast!! It means you have some doo-doo butter all up on you and you need to clean your donut better! For the sake of my love for all things clean, will you accept this rose?

9. Tapatio...Ay papi! I'm like a moth to a flame. My love for you runs deep in these Latina veins! You make EVERY THING better!! Una rosa para ti, mi amor....

10. Well...looks like I only REALLY cherish these 9 things. Huh. Guess I'll keep the last rose for myself.

So there you have it folks. Now those are treasures worthy of a rose! Not those floozies you see on TV.



PS- Congrats to Jenn from She Says The Darndest Things for being the winner of my sweet little giveaway!!! WHOOP WHOOP! and congrats to Megan from Miss Madison's Charmed Life for commenting with the Chuck Norris fun fact that made me laugh the loudest!

"Chuck Norris's belly button is really a power outlet!"

Thanks to all who played! Winners please send me your info so I can send you your goodies!!

2 down, 1 to go....

So I didn't say anything before hand, because I wasn't sure if it was going to happen...but alas...IT IS! Today will be Boogie's very first day of PRE SCHOOL! **tear**sob** WAHHHHHH!!!**Anyone have a tissue? I'm a little bit snot-faced over here. I'm SO not good with milestones.

Now that he's 3, he's eligible for an awesome program with our school district that helps kids with disabilities/impediments/special needs get the extra help they need. Not only is he eligible, but he was accepted!! Whoop whoop!! For Boogie, that means he'll be getting some speech therapy as well as some help with his sensory issues to get him to where he needs to be. AMAZING!

For the past 9 months Levi has had his own personal speech therapist come to the house to work with him one on one. Mary Jane was an absolutely AMAZING woman who not only helped Levi go from BARELY SPEAKING to forming structured sentences and building up quite the vocabulary, but she loved him. She truly did. It broke my heart the last visit she made because I knew she wouldn't be back. Boogie adores her. He still asks for her!! But thanks to her he's now able to start this amazing program that is just going to help him blossom!

So now, twice a week, my little man is off to school. Backpack and all. It's legit. You hear that Little Miss Presley? It's just me and you and Target now. Well, twice a week that is. But still...is it too early to feel the empty nest syndrome??

{Check out Boogie in his jammies and back pack! Presh!!!}

So last night Boogie was STOKED about going to school, so I thought I'd share a little snippet with you...careful, he's pretty irresistible (right Banana?). His little voice is just too cute for words, hear for yourself...

{Boogie goes to school!! Watch out ladies :) }

If anyone needs me I'll be snuggling the Little Miss tight and waiting until 2:30 so I can pick my boys up from school. Man, I need a hobby...

Thank heavens for Febreeze...

You know what I absolutely LOVE about my kids being sick? They not so annoying They're so snuggly. Mmm. They just wanna grab a blanket, throw on Jersey Shore a movie and snuggle with mommy on the couch. In fact, when they're sick is pretty much the only time they want to do that (Boogie excluded of course).

You know what I HATE about my kids being sick? When they decide to projectile vomit a la Alien style on said blanket while snuggling mommy on the couch AND THEN puke on mommy as she's trying to get up while she dry heaves at the same time AND THEN somehow puke all over mommy's BRAND SPANKIN' NEW sofa pillows in the process. Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln that kid is lucky he was sick...that's all I'm sayin'. Yeah.... breathe in, breathe out. I love being a mother. I love being a mother....sometimes I have to remind myself.

I've never done so much friggin laundry in one weekend in my LIFE! Holy upchucking offspring!! From Thursday night to Sunday night we've been tossin' cookies and blowin' grits non-stop. If it wasn't coming out one end it was coming out the other. And somewhere in the middle of that hot mess we were trying to celebrate Boogie's birthday...

{Yaaayyy!!!! My big old Boogie!!!}

Well by Sunday things were looking pretty grim and we ended up having to take Mas into the hospital. Luckily it was only a case of some pretty bad dehydration, poor little fella couldn't even drink water without blowin' gravy. But MAN, hospitals have come a long way! Normally the thought of being at the hospital for 4 hours with a sick child would make me want to stab myself in the eye, but no siree. We got hooked up! We're talking reclining sofa chairs, personal tv's, a smorgasbord of movies to choose from. All I needed was some popcorn and we were good to go! Thankfully the little brat is back to his umm, "energetic" ways and was able to come home. The doctor even gave him a note to stay home from school today. Ohhh. Yay. Remind me to send her a thank-you note.

And there you have it. So much for my weekend...le sigh. Monday again and back to the weekly grind! I'm off to go Febreeze my entire house to try and rid myself of the stank up in here since I can't put my sofa in the washer. But before you go I have one more thing to say....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKE!!!!


To my favorite little Oofa Luffa Le....Have a WONDERFUL birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Boogie!!!!

Dear Levi,

My little Boogie...I can't believe you're 3!!! I couldn't imagine the last 3 years without you Boogie. You've been such a gift to our family and we are so blessed to be your parents. I knew from the very beginning that you were going to be special, and I was right. You never cease to make me smile or to make my heart fill with love. And you were able to do something that meant the world to me....you made your Daddy a father. And that was the best gift you could ever give him!

We want you to know how much we love you little man! You are such a wonderful brother to Mason and a great example to sissy. I've loved the countless hours we've spent snuggling watching Toy Story and watching you wrestle with your brother. I've loved the way your face lights up when you see Daddy come home and the way you sing along in the car every where we go.

You've overcome so many obstacles in the last 3 years and it has been so wonderful watching you grow in leaps and strides. I know that this year will be magical for you!! We love you so much Levi!! Happy Birthday Boogie!!

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Mason, Sissy, Sang-Sang, and Boosa

Something sweet for my sweeties...

Friday already?? How the crap did that happen?! I can't believe we're already a week into the new year. And I've already managed to break all my resolutions!! HA! Well...I did keep one...grrrr. Jordan's a little love boat. Toot toot. Anyway...I have a little summin-summin for you fine folks. But first, a HUGE thank you to the next few people...I was the lucky winner winner chicken dinner of not one, not two, but THREE giveaways lately and in my superb lameness I'm just getting around to posting it! So here goes....

THANK YOU SUMMER!!! Thanks to many of you and your votes I won a little contest at Summer's place and she sent me this friggin BADARSE t-shirt and some amazing little earrings with MUSTACHES on them! AHH! I KNOW!! SO CUTE! And if you haven't been over to Miss Summer's place you need to scoot on over there...she's like my own personal ray of sunshine.

THANK YOU IVA!!! I was SO excited when I won this amazing illustration by the very talented Chet Phillips. Especially because I was planning on bribing her, but I ended up winning anyway. Booya! I'm so stoked to hang it over Sampson and Bruisers house....holy cuteness batman. So thanks again Iva! And if you don't know Iva yet, put that on your list of things to do. She is seriously amazing and if I could hug her right now, I totally would!! That's not creepy, right?


THANK YOU BON BON ROSE GIRLS!!! They gave me a gorgeous necklace courtesy of Natasha Grasso's etsy shop and I got to wear it for about 5 minutes before my mom laid eyes on it and claimed it for herself!! Its amazing in person! Go check out her shop!! Go on over to the Bon Bon Rose and say hi for me :)


And now it's my turn to spread the love! Because we love spreading love, not herpes. While out on a little shopping excursion with Frenchie we picked up a few odds and ends for one lucky winner. Just a little something saying THANKS! Thanks for the amazing comments, seriously you guys crack me up, thanks for the love and good times....and thanks for sticking around through the chaos! So go on and leave me a comment letting me know you want in on this madness....and just to make this interesting....the person that comments with the best Chuck Norris fun fact gets a little surprise! But keep it clean folks! Happy entering and GOOD LUCK! Word on the street is The Hoff kissed each individual item in this giveaway....yeah...from me to you. Your welcome.


{* One scrumptious cupcake rug* One lovely coin purse* One comfy pair of socks* Pack of stationary cards* Super cute memo pad* Adorable post its* Totally cute pedicure set* Fun sleeping mask so you can get your booty sleep} contest ends 1/13 at midnight!

ps- did anyone catch Jersey Shore?!?!?!?! BWAHAHAHHA!!! friggin priceless!! I'll suck your big toe right now! HA!!

Au Revoir Frenchie! Le cercle de confiance....

These last few days have been a blur....but a fabulous blur!! It's been non-stop madness since Monday and now that the dust is settled I have to admit that the ol' heart strings are pulling. It was such a breath of fresh air to spend the last few days with two of the most amazing, hysterical, fabulous, and down to earth people ever. And now they're GONE! WAHHHH!!! I promised myself I wouldn't cry....**SOB!**....ok I'm better now. Good thing my Banana lives a stones throw away or I might go through withdrawal. As for my Frenchie, watch out skype, I'm hitting the airwaves!!!

Monday was pure excitement! I couldn't WAIT to meet up with the girls that night. After a day of sightseeing in San Francisco Mayra and Mag met me and ALL OF MY KIDS for dinner. Yeah....talk about chaos!! Luckily I was too busy bonding with my blogging besties to even care about the fact that my kids were wreaking havoc. Mothering at it's finest! But we had an awesome time and I knew within 1 minute that it was going to be an amazing trip. Here's the 60 second version:

{Frenchie taking in the sights}

{Le Frenchie Sandwich.....C.O.T.}

{Girl's night out....getting crazy on some blue drink}

{Mmmm....Mikuni's sushi...it SOUNDED like a good idea...poor bowels}

{Frenchie & Boogie snuggling over pizza}

{3 of my favorite people}

{The Little Miss working the bed head...heeeeyyyyy}

{The dynamic duo protecting their lady}

It was such a good time having Mag spend a few days bunking at the house! I was able to introduce her to the finer things in life....like Jersey Shore, The Bachelor, Conveyor Belt of Love, and Rock Star.....we're classy like that! But I couldn't let her go without bonding over some MSW (Murder She Wrote y'all...JB Fletcher's where its at!)

But before Mag headed out we HAD to stop by Mayra's AMAZING (seriously its so. dang. cute) house to give the nuggets some love! If you didn't know, my little banana has two of the cutest pups EVER....I present to you....

{Mister Bodie....I'm a model you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the catwalk}

{Mister Omar....that's right ladies...pucker up...he's ready to rock n' roll}

All in all the past few days were epic. These are going down in the books for sure. After lots of hugs and teary goodbyes I'm glad to know I can drive home knowing I have 2 amazing friends who even though they may be an hour away or an ocean away, will be there for me no matter what....ok....I'm getting a little too emotional for 9 in the morning! HA!!

Have an awesome day folks and tune in tomorrow for a sweet little giveaway...I know, I know...I'm late! But hey, better late than never.

T.G.I.MONDAY!!!!!!

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!

I'm so excited....I'm so...I'm so....SCARED!! Hahahaa!! Anyone remember that episode of Saved By The Bell where Jesse, Kelly, and Lisa make a music video and Jesse gets addicted to caffeine pills?? Somebody should have given that chick a red bull..mmmm..HAHAHHAAA!!! Just me?? Ok then....

Well I'm flippin' excited for today. Which is something I don't normally say on Mondays. But it's going to be a fantastic day, and here's why....

1. MASON GOES BACK TO SCHOOL!!! Oh glory be! Winter vacation SUCKS. The holidays are fun and all, but this whole 'home for two weeks straight' thing is just torture! I can't WAIT to drop him off...I'm not even stopping the car. I'm just gonna bring it to a slow crawl and tell that fool to 'TUCK & ROLL'!! Plus...he's beyond excited to go see his friends and compare Christmas gifts.

2. I can BLOG again....oh freak yeah....mama's missed you guys. I felt like a junkie trying to sneak on the computer and grab 5 minutes here and there to get my fix. But no more!! I'm back!!

3. I won two giveaways!! Whoop whoop! I can't wait to tell you all about them tomorrow and to post a giveaway for YOU! It's been a while and to say thanks for stickin' around, I'm gonna shower you with appreciation. I'm friggin thoughtful.

4. This is a big one...try not to be jealous...but I get to spend the next few days with these two fabulous ladies!

Mayra aka 'Bananas' Mag aka 'Frenchie'

That's right folks! Monday-Wednesday will be pure bloggy friend madness! Our favorite Frenchie flew all the way from the lovely UK to spend a few days with us and I am BEYOND excited! She's gonna get a first hand look at the craziness at the House of Cline since she'll be posting up on my comfy sofa for the next few days.

You know whats crazy, OTHER than Frenchie (whom I have never met in 'real life' per se) flying all the way to Cali to hang out? Ummm, the fact that she reads my blog and STILL wants to come out! HAA! Well. I can't say I didn't warn her! So wish us luck, because she may need it.

Hope you all had a fantastic New Years...I spent mine chugging caffeine. Resolutions Shmesolutions. Blah. Here's to a happy 2010 and a flippin fabulous Monday!