i'm lucky...

baby,

you are my everything...the peas to my carrots..the butter to my popcorn. thank you for being my last kiss goodnight and my first kiss to rise with the sun...you are my rock, my safe place, my knight in shining armor and i love you. thank you for loving me, for loving our babies, and for being the man i need. thank you for finding beauty in the scars. thank you for comforting arms, for sweet words, for gentle embraces. thank you for trusting me with you heart, for letting me love you. thank you for understanding, but mostly thank you for accepting. my life is with you, and you are my life...through thick and thin, by your side...they say fools rush in, thank you for being a fool with me... 4 years down baby...an eternity to go...

love,
me.

now come dance with me....

Part 2...

Here is part 2, as promised!

Karls asked: What was the happiest day of your life (aside from your wedding day, or meeting hot mamalish, or the birth of your 3 terrors)?

"The day after we had Presley when I went and spent $4000 in assault rifles and handguns."

Christina Lee asked: What things do you love best about our little chica?

"Girl I love your big brown eyes! And the way you shake them thighs! No, but really though it's the fact that I never have to guess what she is thinking because she tells me whether I want to hear it or not."

Summer asked: What is the biggest challenge you overcame in your marriage?

"Getting Alicia to accept the fact that Black Dog starring Patrick Swayze, Meatloaf, and Randy Travis is THE best movie EVER made. Amen."

Jamie Pickle asked: What is your favorite memory of her?

"It was February 14th 2006- we went to dinner and racing Go-karts. She was CRAZY competitive and fun. I knew I was in for it."

Clare asked: Do you watch the show with your wife like my hubby (dutifully) does?

"Yes. But only so I know what the heck she is mumbling about as I'm falling asleep that night...and to pick up some new one liners for my old lady...'You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime'."

Frenchie asked: What is your middle name if you have one?

"Hamilton fool. Hamilton. It's all about the Hamiltons."

Andrienzgirl asked: What "chick flick" best portrays the awesomeness that is Cline?

"Titanic. The steamy window part."

What comedy is the ultimate laugh party for the Cheesefest that is Jordan and Alicia?

"Billy Madison. Want to touch the hiney. AAooooo!"

Who would play Alicia?

"Sherri O'terri. She's short and obnoxious."

Jen asked: Does the whole family eat like her or is she left to eat alone?

"We all eat together. And we all eat 5 individually crafted meals."

Mama-face asked: What makes Jordan drool?

"Carl's Jr and a Choco taco."

S Club Mama asked: What is your favorite food that is forbidden to your wife (due to her IBS)? Do you eat it in front of her?

"Thrifty's mint chip ice cream. And yes i do!"

Kasey asked: Who is your FAVORITE sister? ;>

"The one who lives out of state!"

Kirsten asked: If Mrs. Cheesy was really a cheese what kind would she be? And why?

"Gouda, because it smells ALMOST as horrendous as her gas."

Carma asked: Is Jordan completely calm and comatose being you run at the total other end of the spectrum??!!

"Cool, calm, and collected."

Kristin asked: What is your favorite thing to do for date night?

"We're actually pretty low key, but my favorite thing is to go out and treat her like a stranger and try to pick up on her all night....then I bring her back to my place...(wink)"

Hope you're all having an awesome weekend!

Time for some answers....part 1

This week I got to sit down and grill the hubs with all the amazing question you folks left for him. I have to say that it was pretty enlightening! You guys didn't let him off easy! That's what she said. But since I'm lazy and it's midnight, I had to split it into two posts....And because it was SUPER long since I had to add my input. You didn't think I'd really let him take over my blog, did you?? So thanks for all of the awesome Q's folks! It seems the most popular was WHY and HOW in 55 days...in case you missed the answers, you can find them over here. Alright, lets get this dog and pony show on the road!

Daffy asked: What is Alicia's most annoying habit? *answer carefully husband...*

"Your most annoying habit is that you INSIST on putting your wet grimy feet all over my dry bath carpet as you get out of the shower. every. single. morning." Well then dry my hooves for me when I'm done showering!

Bananas asked: If you could change one thing about her, what would it be?

"I don't know what to change. How do you change perfection?" HA! Yeah right. Stop trying to raid my pantaloons!


Kristina P asked: How do you feel about Alicia's love for The Hoff?

"I like it because it gives me a reason to put on my Knight Rider outfit for her." Rawr!

Confused Homemaker asked: Have you ever worn ONLY the mustachio around the house?

"Every other night except for Tuesdays." Tuesdays he wears his Knight Rider outfit.

SG asked: How do you keep the fire burning after 4 years and 3 kids?

"Fire cheetos, backrubs, and Murder She Wrote." Ohhh now you're talking dirty!

Tia asked: How long was it till you 2 bow chicka bow wowed????

"A gentleman doesn't smoosh and tell." No boom boom til there's bling bling! Word.

Leigh asked: What is the wildest thing you two have done together?

"We once challenged each other to a tostada eating contest. 14 tostadas later Alicia was the winner. Wild." I don't think I've ever consumed so much Tapatio in my life!

KS and Ams asked: How did your families react when you announced you were getting married? Did you have a big wedding? Can we see some wedding pics??? Pretty please?!?

"They thought we were crazy. And we are. No, we had a intimate wedding. A few family members, Chinese takeout, costco sheetcake, and a living room ceremony." See? I told ya so!

{The newlyweds}

{Our first family photo!}

{Check out that sheet cake in all of its glory!!}

To be continued....

HAPPY FRIDAY FOLKS!!
have an awesome weekend :) love.

Too sexy for your party, no way I'm disco dancing...

Let's talk about sex appeal for a minute. I don't know about you, but I've never considered myself to be a sexy person. You'd never find me in the pages of Maxim, or stopping traffic with my killer strut. There are some women that you look at and they just exude raw attraction. They're the textbook 'sexy'. But I can only speak for myself when I say that that will NEVER be me. So can I still be sexy? Truth be told, I look like a flippin' 12 year old and have the curves of a board. Not exactly sex pot material. But hey, I work with what I've got.

Then there's the issue of being seductive....BAH! You know the part in movies where the couple is about to bow chika bow wow and smoosh? The girl is wearing butt floss and will do something sexy like crawl across the bed with this 'come hither' look in here eyes. Then she'll whisper something all flirtatious to reel him in...DUDE! Yeah friggin right. First off, I'd have a major wedgie. Second of all, I'd probably get caught in the sheets and fall off the bed. Thirdly, when I try that 'come hither' look I end up with an 'I have to poop' look. And lastly, I'd forget to say something coy and end up saying what I was really thinking like 'Did I tivo Modern Family?'. Seduction at its finest...or not. My version of seduction is shaving my legs and popping a tic tac. Done and done.

{Pretty sure this hotmess stops traffic! His milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!}

But this got me to thinking...what is your version of sexy? What do you think of when you hear the word sexy? What makes you feel attractive?

I've come to realize that for me it's not about looking like a Victoria's Secret angel or oozing with seduction. My take on 'sexy' is CONFIDENCE! It's about being comfortable in my own skin. It's about confidence in who I am. I'm a hyper, off the wall, jeans and tee, speak my mind kind of girl. And I own it. Do I look like I'm walking the runway every time I leave the house? Abso-friggin-lutely not. And I embrace that. I've found my inner love kitten. She's in my sense of humor. In my fierce protectiveness. In my Chuck Taylors. We all have a love kitten in us. We just have to find what brings our sexy back.

Now dish folks...what makes you feel sexy? What do you think of when you think of 'sexy'?

**check back tomorrow for answers to your questions!! photo from perezhilton.com**

55 days....how and why...

So you want to know how and why 55 days, huh? Well...here it is. Hers vs. His style...

How did we know in 55 days?

Hers: To be honest I knew in the first week I would marry him, and I told anyone who would listen! Jordan wears his heart (and opinions) on his sleeve. From the very first moment I knew exactly where I stood with him and that was an amazing relief. He didn't play games. I knew if he said something, he meant it. So when he told me he loved me, when he told me he loved Mason (who was 2 at the time), when he told me he wanted to marry me, I knew it was the truth. From the very first date he made us a priority. I had never been taken care of the way he took (and takes) care of me. He was the exact opposite of anyone I had ever dated, and that's why it worked! Everything from the look in his eyes, to the way my hand fit in his, was just perfect. Are you gagging on my sappiness yet? TWSS. ha. But the closing deal for me was the fact that I could be myself around him. 100% me. I farted on the first date. I was loud and outspoken. I had a child. I never had to censor anything about myself. And not only did he accept me for it, he loved me for it. I wanted to spend every waking, and sleeping, moment with this guy. I'd be crazy not to marry him...

His: First of all, let me clarify a little something. Alicia and I “met” about a year before we actually went on our first date. And by “met”, I mean I stalked her from the other side of the room every single time I saw her. We went to a concert “together”, we went to a park and played with Mason “together”, and we even went out to dinner “together”! She didn’t know we were on dates, but I could tell by her body language that she was feelin’ me! You know...the cold shoulder…the dirty looks when she caught me staring…she was just playing hard to get. I was smellin what she was stepping in…know what I mean? So after one of my buddies who knew her FAILED at getting her number to me or introducing us for about a year, I finally asked her out (long story). I knew on our first date, the way she picked up that Ski Ball at Chuck E Cheese, that she was the one!

Now here's the why...

Hers: This really is so involved. And as much as I wish I could tell you the whole story, I can't. I'm very protective of my family, and some things just aren't made to be blog fodder. But it came down to this...we originally were planning a summer wedding, but issues arose between Mason's biological father and others between my family and ultimately we decided against a big wedding ceremony. But we knew we wanted to get married. We had the same goal. We wanted to share our lives together, have a family, and be husband and wife. Isn't that what life's about? Finding people you love and sharing your life with them? So now that we weren't planning a ceremony we had nothing to wait for. We decided to just go for it. We knew we loved each other, what was the point in waiting? So we picked up some Chinese food, a Costco sheet cake, and had Jordan's dad say the nuptials!

His: But since Alicia wants this to be serious, I’ll tell you why after 55 days I knew I wanted to marry her. I had always spent my time casually dating in my early years as a way to pick the traits of a good woman I wanted to marry. I had never wanted to date until I was 35 when it was time to settle down because I was too old for the dating game. I knew that as soon as I found the woman that had enough in common with me and had the ability to love someone with all of my flaws, that I would marry her. So, on our first real date we went out to dinner at Macaroni Grill. We sat for hours not telling random stories or having a causal conversation filled with witty banter. We just sat and talked about every single thing that bothered us about people in general and what we wanted out of life. A day later, I went to go see my dad in the hospital (just had heart surgery) and my mom saw me walking/prancing down the hallway and said “looks like someone’s in loooooove”! I couldn’t hide it. I went work so I could email and text her. I left work everyday and drove 40 minutes each way to take her to lunch. I went to her house every night to sit on her couch and played with Mason. I slept on her couch until 2 or 3 in the morning watching Law & Order, drove 45 minutes home to sleep for an hour and got up to start it all over again. She occupied every thought, she fit every single one of my wife criteria, and most of all, she loved me. I knew that with all that we had figured out in the short 55 days that we were dating, that we could live 80 years of our lives together, raise a family, and enjoy the company of each other until the day we died. I wanted nothing more than to spoil her, be with her, smell her breath, rub her back, suck a mean toe, etc. I figured marriage would be fun, tough, exhausting, and filled with compromise; but nothing could off-set the love we felt for each other and the desire I had to be with her. To this day, we’ve never had a serious fight, I’ve never hit her (she hits me…I’m scared of her), she still gets everything she wants, she gives me everything I want and I don’t regret giving my all to her and never will. We are the epitome of a perfect marriage.

Geez...we're nauseating. Aren't you glad you asked?

I must be delirous to do this...

La la la la laaaaaaa....

Love is in the air folks! My mind is all a blur with thoughts of my boo this morning. Hey Jordan, what are you wearing? Meow. Or maybe I'm just still a little loopy from the sleeping pills I took last night. Which by the way are GLORIOUS! Why didn't anyone tell me about Excedrin PM before??? Normally sleeping pills don't work for me due to hyperactivity issues, and to be honest, I didn't sleep great at all last night. But man, I sure passed out quick! The last thing I remember was singing show tunes to Jordan while trying to breathe out of one nostril (I have a cold) and then waking up in a puddle of drool with my hair matted to my face. I'm beyond sexy in the morning. It's criminal.

Side note: Does anyone else's drool bleach their sheets? Or is that just my toxic saliva?? Gross I know. But really, is it just me?

Now back to this 'love in the air' crap I was talking about. Guess what this Sunday is?? It's our anniversary! 4 years people. 4 glorious....long....amazing...LOOOOOOOOOONG....years. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to see if this is just a dream, but as crazy as it sounds it's not. I knew Jordan for all of 55 days before we got married. Now 4 years, 3 kids, 2 dogs, and 1 house later here we are. As crazy and in love as ever! Mushy mushy lovey dovey kissy face and all that nonsense.

So this is where you all come in. In celebration of 4 years I'm handing the reins over to you! It's time for you to ask anything and everything you've ever wanted to know about me, him, us, life. Anything...well almost anything. And here's the best part...HE'S going to have to answer them and post them this week! Hahahaa!! This is either going to be the smartest thing I've ever done, or the stupidest! So go on, ask away....

What do you want to know???

Friday? Is that you??

I made it....

Oh sweet mother of pearl I actually made it!! It's been one heck of a week. It got straight up 'Lord of the Flies-ish' all up in here with the little hooligans attempting to overthrow me, but I showed those little terds whose boss. Sucks to your assmar! Or at least I like to think I did...

But I'm alive and slightly sane folks, and I can't wait to make Jordan watch them for the entire weekend! Glorious!! I hope you all had an awesome week...I've been a wretched blog friend but I'll make it up to you in the form of naked Hoff pictures...what??? kidding. jokes. Do you prefer Chuck Norris? Richard Simmons? Just say the word. But for real, I can't wait to get caught up on everything I missed out on this last week..

But as crazy and insane as this last week was, who wouldn't enjoy 5 straight days with this...

{Yup...all 3 of those studs are mine...word}

{I love the fact that he is totally oblivious to the PEACOCK right about his head on the railing...}

{My fluff ball of love....so friggin CUTE!}


{Ughhh....I'm so excited for them to be teenagers....hate and anger here we come!}

Don't tell them, but I secretly enjoyed having them to myself for a week :)

Have a happy Friday fools!!!

Sanity, $54,000, and berfdays...

It's 2:00 in the morning and yes....I should probably be sleeping instead of reading celebrity gossip about Suri Cruise throwing a temper tantrum the latest in world news, but I needed to enjoy the silence just a little bit longer. I want to remember the peaceful silence, the clean house, and the feeling of sanity one last time, because my kids have the ENTIRE week off of school. Right about now is when my grip on sanity starts to fade....and despair sets in.

SHOOT ME NOW!! I mean honestly, were the head honchos at the district office hittin' the crack pipe a little hard when they decided this??? Who gets a random week off in February?? A day or two. Fine. I can deal. Nothing a little McDonald's happy meal and some Wii games can't handle. But a week??? Those wretched heartless nincompoops! All this nonsense about furlough days and what not. BAH! You try spending a whole week with my children of the corn and then talk to me about furlough days! It's all about the Ritalin and Red Bull this week folks. Pray for me. Better yet, pray for my kids.

And speaking of folks hittin' the crack pipe a little too hard, take a look at this....


Let me begin by saying, I love a nice Louis Vuitton hand bag. But $54,000 for THIS?? That's not a typo... $54,000 PEOPLE! I just don't get it. I went to fashion school. I can appreciate avante garde, haute couture, and daring pieces...but really? I mean REALLY? Yikes.

But it's Monday and that can only mean one thing....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYRA!!!!
i heart her...

Go on over and wish this amazing little lady and happy happy berfday!! And have yourself a great Monday while you're at it....

Sweet Lovin'....Cline Style...

A sweet for my sweets....I made these just for you...

Have a fantastic weekend folks!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

*thanks to That One Mom for the hook up on the sweet candy heart generator!!

Choo- Choo!!!

Sweet goodness I hit the jackpot with the I choo choo choose you Valentine's Day swap hosted by the lovely Summer and crew over at B is for Brown!! I knew it was going to be amazing when I saw the package addressed to Alicia 'The Hammer' Cline....HAHAAA!!! I loved this girl already! Who is this girl, you ask? The darling Tamara! She is friggin rad and she's gong to be my new best friend....I should probably tell her that first. It's going to be hard, but try not to be jealous when I show you all the amazing pretties she sent....

{My love day loot! Dang kids stole my lollipops already. Check out the mustachio....be still my heart!}

{I can't wait to wear this GORGEOUS necklace! To. die. for.}

{I may or may not be wearing this awesome necklace already!! LOVE!}

{My mustache brings all the girls to the yard!! HAHA!! Perfection!!}

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!

Who needs boys when we have blog buddies?? KIDDING JORDAN! I didn't mean that baby...you know I love you. Come sit on my lap and let me hold you.

And in case there are any men other than my husband reading this.... when a girl says "You don't have to get me anything, it's fine." she really means "You BETTER get me something, kthanks." Just thought I'd give you a little V-day advice.

Parenting at it's finest....

Do you know what spoiled milk tastes like? Yeah, me neither. But Mason does! He's only been drinking it for 3 days now. Mother of the year, right here. 6th year straight. Thank you! What an honor...

Don't look at me like that! I didn't know!! He may or may not have been complaining about the taste of it for the last few days...and he may or may not have told me it smelled sour. But that's neither here nor there. I had JUST bought the dang milk!! (Side note: organic milk is NOT cheap!) There was no way it could be sour already!! Well apparently there was. Because after an adamant refusal from my demon spawn to drink his milk I decided to take a whiff and PEEEEYOUUU!

UGHHH I'm pretty sure that rank cow's goodness singed my nostrils. You could practically chew the stench it was so thick. Ok, so it was a little spoiled. For the record, the expiration date on the jug was clearly legible hard to read. How was I supposed to know that was a 4 and not a 9?? To my defense I'm lactose intolerant, so I never drink the stuff. I had no clue!! Maybe next time he should tell me. HAHAHAAAA!!!!! That's what the little terd gets! I mean...ahem...lesson learned.

But that does explain the raging mudbutt he had....Oooops.


Mother of the year, folks.

Mother of the year....

I need a hug.....

Bittersweet folks....the Super Bowl was bittersweet. Bitter because my ponies couldn't pull it together and snag a victory. And sweet because Nola has never won a Super Bowl....and I guess if anyone had to beat the Colts I'm glad it was the Saints. But don't tell Summer that, she'll never let me live it down!!

So I need a little cheering up today and I have just the perfect thing....

{The Hoff and puppies....the perfect antidote}

There....better already!! He's Hofftastic. And if my Monday didn't suck already, it sure is about to, because for some INSANE reason I've decided to go back to the gym. Uggghhhhh. My Thighs (yes with a capital T) hurt just thinking about it! I've promised them that if they manage to survive an hour of cardio, I'll treat them to a smoothie.

Sorry to keep it short, I'm hoping to have time to get caught up on YOUR blogs today! Have a great Monday folks...I'm off to go breathe heavily and act like I'm working out.

It's time to put my game face on....

Are you ready folks???

Because I AM!!

You can smell it in the air today....Testosterone mixed with Doritos, little smokies, ruffles, onion dip... with a touch of pizza, hot wings, and burgers....That smell can only mean one thing...

IT'S SUPER BOWL TIME!!!

Put on your blue & white, grab a snack and pull up a chair because it's gonna be one heck of a game!

We're gonna be eating a whole lotta this...

{ Nom nom nom.....}

Doing a little of this...

{Boogie down with your bad self!! BOOYA!}

And rooting on the 2010 Super Bowl champs!

GO COLTS!!!

Have an awesome Sunday friends! If you need me I'll be the one with the blue and white face screaming at the TV....

She's crafty, and she's just my type.....

Thursday was spent channeling my inner Martha Stewart and letting my domestic goddess banner fly high. It's amazing how much crap I can get done when I'm not blogging being lazy. It's 1am and I'm FINALLY managing to sneak on and get my blog fix. But for real...I'm a real housewife yo....I'm legit. Like a ref with a whistle! Woot woot! I've got proof....

{My gorgeous new niece Berkeley!! Fresh out of the oven!!}

One of my besties, Courtney, delivered this beautiful baby girl in the wee hours of Wednesday morning and let me tell you my uterus was SCREAMING when I snuggled her....so dang precious. A full head of hair and the yummiest chubby cheeks...to die for! Little Miss Presley can't wait to hang out!

{Masterpieces by my boys....priceless!}

I ran out of room on my fridge to display all of the artwork the kids bring home from school, and since they'll freak out if I throw it away I want to hang it for all to see I made these little bad boys. I painted a few plain canvases, stuck cardboard in the backs, and got fun push pins to hold up their paintings! They're hung proudly in the living room for all to see....and BONUS, I can rotate them as often as I want AND they add an awesome pop of color to the front room! BOOYA!

{Eliza these have your name allllllll over them!!}

Oh sweet mother of pearl I may just lick the screen....so friggin delicious. I made a tray of these for tonight and its totally worth the mudbutt aftermath to chow down on these...nom nom nom, come to mama...

{He's secure with his masculinity}

I made some bad arse tutus and couldn't wait to try them on someone...poor dog. Anybody need a tutu?

{The Little Miss has a severe clippy addiction}

I made some adorable hair bows for my boo. Am I impressing you with my mad domestic skills yet??

SEE?! I told you! I made Martha my biznatchel...word. But it's Friday folks and as far as I'm concerned the weekend is here. If you need me I'll be catching up on your blogs and practicing my end zone dance for Sundays big game!!!

GO COLTS!!!!!!

{Super Bowl champs...say it with me....Super Bowl champs}

What are your plans??
Who are you rooting for??

Have an awesome weekend!!

Poop and legos just don't mix....

I hate legos.....I LOATHE them...I want to make a giant bonfire out of legos and dance naked around it. I didn't know it was possible to hate plastic bricks, but alas, I've managed to do so!! Friggin devil toys.

They're everywhere!! All over the living room, all over the kitchen, in the bathroom, in my car, in Little Miss Presley's diaper...YEAH. AGAIN. My daughter is huddin' blue chunks and they're not blueberries!!....Holy sweet mother of pearl why can't people give my kids normal gifts???? Or books?! Books would be AMAZING! Babies don't swallow and crap books!

And as much as I would love to get rid of these useless pieces of over priced plastic I can't. Ughhh. Because of course, Mason LOOOOOVES them. He plays with them for HOURS, and being that he's a total crackhead ADHD it's such a great outlet for him. He creates the most elaborate designs and structures...they really are pretty radical...and then Boogie comes and tears them apart, does a little river dance on them, and throws them around like he has beads on a float at Mardi Gras and the ladies are flashing their ta-tas.

So, I've come up with a plan....if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Right?

I've decided that I'm going to mold and cultivate Mason's love of lego's and make some money make a career out of it. Who knows...maybe one day he'll be an engineer. Or an architect! And if that fails at least he'll be able to make really cool crap like this that I can sell on Ebay...

{Blows my mind...flippin' amazing!}{My fav of the bunch....}

{Lady Liberty a la Jedi style. RADICAL!}

{Artist's rendition of the rebirth of New Orleans. Speechless.}

{Yeah folks. That's a cello....and it WORKS!}

So that's it...I'm throwing in the proverbial towel. He can have his flippin' legos and I'll deal with it encourage his artist passion. But in the meanwhile I'm just going to focus on keeping the legos out of Little Miss Presley's bowels and in the toy bin instead.

{All pictures of creations via brickartist.com by artist Nathan Sawaya. Bad arse!}

Nothing says 'I Love You' like useless crap...

What the crap? How on earth is it February already?? And you know what that means don't you? D-Day, I mean V-DAY is in 2WEEKS! Don't freak out...settle down...there's plenty of time to do your shopping and I'm here to help. I've taken the liberty of assembling a little gift guide for the men in your life...no need to thank me. I'm here to serve.

{For the golfer in your life...a nice sack of golf balls}

{For the clean freak in your life...heaven forbid you get the soap confused}

{A little friendly warning makes life a lot easier with this courteous caution tape }


{A little Baconnaise for your beloved bacon connoisseur}

{MMMM.....kissably soft Corndog lips...win win situation!}

{Here's a twofer! A gift for the egg AND gun lover!}

{ For those ladies with an Italian Stallion...this is a guaranteed hit!}

See? Consider your shopping done! Hope you all had a great weekend! Happy Monday ....if there is such a thing.