
But...it's just not in the cards for us. Fate can be a cruel hag. Someone should feed Fate a snickers bar and tell her to chill the heck out. Hag.
You're probably wondering how we came to this epiphany. Between you and me, I've always had a secret desire to be an ice skater. I think I watched The Cutting Edge one too many times as a child. Toe pick! Anyone?? Right then. So there we were spending some quality time together watching Modern Family.... FRIGGIN LOVE THIS SHOW...and a scene came on that showed two characters attempting to complete a skating lift and I KNEW we had to try. Right then and there. The moment of truth!!
With Jordan posted up on the opposite side of the room, I took a deep breath and gracefully ran toward him (picture a gazelle) and at the perfect moment...wait for it, WAIT FOR IT..... I leapt....SOARING through the air. And by soaring I mean about a good 3 inches off the ground or so....and landed right smack in the middle of his chest. Well crap.
It turns out that Jordan sucks at lifting. And I kinda suck at jumping...but in my defense jumping is A LOT harder than it looks folks! Have you tried it recently? It's tough, that whole 'getting off the ground' thing. Especially when your partner is over a foot taller than you!! But after several failed attempts and a few knees to the groin we accepted defeat.
It's been a hard day trying to process this newly discovered information. But we'll manage. Come to think of it, we're much too talented to be stifled in the ice rink. Plus I HATE being cold...maybe we should pursue other avenues....like pink pong.











Man, that sucks! I wanted to be an ice skater when I was little, until I realised that I live in the tropics, where there is (shock horror) no ice.
ReplyDeleteI definitely would buy a ticket to your ice skating show if you wear costumes like this :)
ReplyDeleteI like skating too. When I was younger and I didn't have a family, I drive 2 times a week to ice hall that was 120km away from home. Just for an hour skating.
i seriously love you. all wacky that you are. i'm hooked, i need some alicia love & laughters EVERY. FREAKING. DAY.
ReplyDeleteI, myself, suck at most sports but recently found out about beer pong, and well...i might have found my calling...
bbm later lovely...muah!
You are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to be a figure skater too!!! Heck, I still do. But I am in NO shape to be wearing one of those outfits. Unless the whole thing would be made of Spanx. If that's the case, maybe I need one for my everyday life. lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your dreams were crushed. I can empathize. And offer you ice cream. Because that's what I do. :)
bwahahahahaha!!! i friggen love you lady...i have no words b/c i am sitting here 5:45 a.m. imagining this and i just friggen heart you...hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteum.talking to today?!?! uh.yeah probably so b/c yesterday just doesn't work for me...haha...
I would love to be a fly on the way to see the whole jumping and lifting incident.
ReplyDeleteDude I knew I should have TIVO'd Modern Family, but it interfered with Mercy which i heard was gonna be good. dang.
ReplyDeleteI sat watching the same show in tears lastnight. You're right, it gets you wondering what happened to that dare devil that was inside us before children. Maybe with a little more practice you'll get it. Don't let the dream die!
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny!!
ReplyDelete...stopping by from SITS...
Steph @ Stick It in the Fridge
pleasestickitinthefridge.blogspot.com
I'm much more of a roller skater myself. I consider myself an expert in the roller arts...
ReplyDeleteYou were just having an off night. Try again today. I'm just sure you're full of grace.
ReplyDeleteTOE PICK! I can still hear her whiney little proper voice saying it! LOVES it!
ReplyDeleteWe try that whole sitch, but more for the airplane game. You know where you lay on the bottom of their feet? Apparently my ass is huge b/c Husband can't ever keep me steady. I need to stop drinking so much.
*sigh* *swoon* EB Sweeney was so dreamy. I talked to him on the phone one time, he was on my fav radio show, I called in, we had a moment. What ever happened to him anyway?
ReplyDeleteSorry about your dashed dreams. Life totally gets in my way too! That life, what a bitch!
Love!
I love that you tried a skating lift in your house! Maybe you should try again tonight...
ReplyDeletebahhahaha too funny. i like ice skating!
ReplyDeleteGo for ping pong!
I'm sure you could still be a roller blader.
ReplyDeleteDB Sweeney is on Criminal Minds right now as a "pal" of Hotch. He's hiding Hotch's family from the psycho serial killer.
ReplyDelete"Toooooeeeee pick!" As a child????? Oh, girl, you make me feel old!!! I think I was 20 when I bought that movie! On VHS, of course.
: )
Have you tried ping pong? Much more difficult than ice skating so I hear.
ReplyDeleteI started reading your post and immediately thought of "Modern Family" & about how funny that show is and about the little kid ruining the Dad's chance at selling that house and the shirts for Manny and the girl from the Children's Hospital...I fell asleep thinking of the show! So many subtle hilarious lines...hahahaha. (And I usually hate sitcoms.)
Then I read a few lines down and WHAT? That is what you are referring to! I'm truly sorry about your unfortunate leap. Just keep trying. Practice, Practice, Practice.
classic!
ReplyDeleteWell that stinks! Maybe badminton or chess. No jumping involved:) You have got to love Modern Family, huh?
ReplyDeleteoh no you didn't just "toe pick" me! I FRIGGEN LURVED THAT MOVIE!!! i think i watched a million times and dreamed of being an ice skater too...BUT hell to the no would i let my partner EVA chuck me in the air like that! NO WAY JOSE!!!
ReplyDeletebut still great movie...thanks for referencing it.
and as for your failed career...it's all good in the hood. you still have a chance to join my hip hop dance crew...already got brooke to join. what do ya say????
HA! LOVE YA WOMAN!!!
Yes, ping pong. Maybe, beer pong?
ReplyDeletei love you for posting this because greg and i did the SAME thing last night at that scene. lol
ReplyDeleteI also love Modern Family. That show is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!! I love that show too!!
ReplyDeleteDo you watch Modern Family? They had a bit on figure skating last night. Funny.
ReplyDeleteI would be a horrible skater. I can't jump on ground, let alone on ice.
hehehe your too funny!!! i absolutely LOVE your posts they make my day..let us know how ping pong goes :)
ReplyDeletexo
michely
It's just not like you to give up so easily!
ReplyDeleteNow go get your leotard on, and keep trying!!!!
Baby didn't get it in one shot....and neither will you. But, I believe in you Alicia.
I will not let you fail....
Go, just....go.
Just watched the show.. I love it too... sorry about your realization. I won't even attempt since I know I can't do it.
ReplyDeletehahaha LOVED Cutting Edge...watched that shiz all the time in college. I remember watching DWTS during their Patrick Swayze tribute and when they did the "I had the time of my life" lift, Kristian took the cat and lifted him over his head Baby style. It was hysterical. Guess he realized that shit ain't happening with me!
ReplyDeletehaha i loved this post! i definitely think the cutting edge rocks. and i too had a dream of being an ice skater (hence me taking lessons for a good two years.. never went anywhere!)
ReplyDeleteYou had me laughing out loud while my lil man stares at me like "really mom" ha..I suck at ice skating!! Sorry your dreams have been crushed!! :)
ReplyDeleteToooooooeeeee piiiick!! Love that movie!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad day...Ive realized my hubs is a goober that shouldnt be making custom knives and you have discovered you cant be couples skaters...I dont know how we will move on to tomorrow
this is amazing.
ReplyDeleteand Modern family had me cracking up! seriously love that show
Lurve Modern Family.
ReplyDeleteI think maybe your mistake was in trying it in the living room sans skates. I bet if you tried it on skates it would be awesome. Just sayin'.
i want to see the video of you all practicing. how long before you figured out you were not meant to be a figure skating duo?
ReplyDeletedidn't realize you went to FIDM...did you like it?
Hey, I saw that last night too! LOL Very funny and I to watched the cutting edge too many time...used to try out the moves when we took trips to the ice rink! ;0D
ReplyDeleteAwww. I wanted to be a figure skater when I was younger. Then I never actually went Ice-skating til I was 19, fell over 30 minutes in because some crazy lady clipped the back of my skates. Landed and busted my knee and refuse to ever get back on the ice again. Dream shattered.
ReplyDeleteSE x
Oh that is amazing! I'm sad that your ice skating career didn't work out for you. But chances are, someone would be jealous of your skills and club you in the head or something. So maybe your better off. I look forward to hearing how your ping pong career is going!
ReplyDeleteLOL...Oh my gosh I so want to try the lift now. If only I can find a guy willing to take the abuse of the fail attempts. I am so looking!
ReplyDeletelove you :)
ReplyDeleteSweetie! You weren't wearing skates! If you would have been wearing skates and he would have had a headband on (picture sequins) it would have totally worked!!! Toe pick! Toe pick! I might be the only one who thought that guy was hott.
ReplyDeleteOh DB Sweeney! How I love you! I love that movie. Such a great love story. I also always wanted to figure skate...and do gymnastics. I suck at both. I still think about trying gymnastics, you know, take a class with a bunch of tween girls. Maybe one day....
ReplyDeleteone more.. you've been tagged. muaaah!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me UP - I can totally picture you doing that! You must be a riot to live with. :) We are HUGE fans of Modern Family, too. That show makes us laugh outloud for 30 minutes. Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI do believe if Mr. Fairway & I tried this move, someone would get injured. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteHoly Cow!
ReplyDeleteI think I peed myself laughing so hard!
LMAO, great story and loved the enthusiasm!!
ReplyDeleteSmooches,
Sassy Chica
Awwww, man, if you and Jordan could have just gotten it together I may have actually watched ice skating!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're always a gazelle to me.
ReplyDeleteSo would you have been fire and Jordan ice?!LOL!!
ReplyDeletedude, you're funny!
ReplyDeletePlease tell me that I commented on this. I read it in the am and well, almost pee'd myself (since i had not gotten up yet and that is the 1st thing i do in the am). lol. I pictured you running towards him. Do you watch Modern Family? They did an ice skating routine and it was hyterical! XXOOXOXOX
ReplyDeleteAt first, I worried that Kate and Doug wouldn't be able to make it work, but with her talent and his manly work ethic, nothing would stop them. NOTHING!
ReplyDeleteTell your husband to stop being so tall already!
oh, cruel CRUEL fate!!! it just isn't fair. i always wish i could sing well. that is NEVER going to happen, as have the worst singing voice ever. but i don't really let it stop me when i am alone in the car. maybe you can jump and leap and skate and soar if others are not looking. but maybe the man should wear protective gear. :)
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahhahahahaaha... whenever I need a good laugh, I come right on over to your blog. And of course, I am not laughing at you... just *with* you. I am so sorry your dreams of Olymbic gold on the ice have been crushed...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I watched Cutting Egde way too much as a child too...
Dont pull the plug just yet. And next time you go (you should go again) please wear a sparkly costume like Will's.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm reading this correctly, it appears you did not try the jump while on skates!! Do not give up until you try it while on skates. I'm sure it is much easier when on skates ;-)
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteYour humor rocks my face off! Thank you!
What's pink pong?? Or was that a typo? You can never tell around here...
I think you should try again wearing one of those RAD costumes! lol
ReplyDeleteDon't give up! A few more ungraceful falls and you will have it! Or an ER visit...
ReplyDeleteDamn! What a shame!
ReplyDeleteI never thought of hubby as a ice skating partner but I did like ice skating as a kid. Watching it on the olympics was always great.
Well if anything you can always go all Tanya Hardng and start crow barring people :) Kinda the same right?
ReplyDelete