Roses and weiners....I mean winners

(No this is not a Bachelor re-cap post!)

Here's the thing with roses. They mean something. They're special....symbolic, if you will. People just don't understand the value of a rose anymore.You don't just GIVE a rose away to any gussied up floozy who waves her ta-tas in your face.....a carnation...MAYBE. Or perhaps a dandelion. Shoot, I wouldn't even give half of those bimbos a TWIG! But I'm getting off track. A rose is reserved for the elite things in life! For instance...if I had 10 roses, you know who they'd go to??? Let me tell you...

1. My family...of course. You may all be friggin nut jobs, but you're my nut jobs and I have this strange fondness for you. Weird. Take the rose fools.

2. Red Bull...oh my dear sweet carbonated deliciousness. I've said some crazy things in the past, like 'I'm gonna limit you!' or 'I really should drink more water!'. But that's just gibberish! You know I don't really mean that. I couldn't function live without you in my life! So what do you say, will you accept this rose?

3. Murder, She Wrote...I'd give you an entire rosebush! That's how much you mean to me. Through the past years we've formed an unbreakable bond that I've come to depend on. I'd be honored if you continued to unmask murderers with me until the wee hours of the night. Will you accept this rose?

4. Ritalin...I held off on letting you into our lives for SO long. The day you finally arrived changed our lives (and Mason's well being) forever. Plus, you're so much cheaper than crack. Will you accept this rose?

5. Blackberry...Do you hear the angels singing? That's because of you. You're a little slice of heaven on earth, and you fit right in the palm of my hand! Glorious! Will you accept this rose?

6. Flat iron...Let's just say that without you I'd be sporting the Brit-Brit shaved head circa 2007. PLEASE accept this rose!

7. The Hoff...you're classy. Sophisticated. You've changed the world with your angelic voice. You still make my heart go pitter-patter when you run slow mo in the sand....sigh. It'd be hofftastic if you'd accept this rose.

8. Oxi clean...I couldn't have survived this last weekend without you. And neither could my boy's skivvies!! Note to males: Just because you have a racing stripe in your chonies doesn't mean you're fast!! It means you have some doo-doo butter all up on you and you need to clean your donut better! For the sake of my love for all things clean, will you accept this rose?

9. Tapatio...Ay papi! I'm like a moth to a flame. My love for you runs deep in these Latina veins! You make EVERY THING better!! Una rosa para ti, mi amor....

10. Well...looks like I only REALLY cherish these 9 things. Huh. Guess I'll keep the last rose for myself.

So there you have it folks. Now those are treasures worthy of a rose! Not those floozies you see on TV.



PS- Congrats to Jenn from She Says The Darndest Things for being the winner of my sweet little giveaway!!! WHOOP WHOOP! and congrats to Megan from Miss Madison's Charmed Life for commenting with the Chuck Norris fun fact that made me laugh the loudest!

"Chuck Norris's belly button is really a power outlet!"

Thanks to all who played! Winners please send me your info so I can send you your goodies!!