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1. Wake up early so I can work out and shower before the kids are awake..... HAHAAAA!!! I just choked on my candy I was laughing so hard! Seriously?!?! I must be delusional. Anything that starts with the phrase 'Wake up early' and includes the words 'working out' is NEVER going to happen. My Thighs (yes, with a capital T, they demand my respect) are strongly opposed to this one. Sorry 2010, maybe next year.
2. Limit blogging time to when the kids nap during the day and sleep at night.....Ehh...But then what am I supposed to do during the day?? Play with the kids?? Clean my house?? Pass. No can do. Next!
3. Turn up the heat in the bed room...bow chika bow wow....Yeah I said it. More lovin' for my lover. Well....except 7 days prior to Aunt Flo's visit, and 7 days after for recovery. And rule out Saturdays because I don't get my nap, and Sunday is a day of rest....But any other day should be ok...as long as it's scheduled in advance so I can remember to shave my legs that week. Am I romantic or what? Meow...
4. Cut back on time spent watching reality TV....Well, now this all depends on whether or not Jersey Shore gets canceled. I don't care what anybody says, that is one train wreck I am not gonna miss!! Where would I be without Snickers, or Snooki, and The Situation?! Plus The Bachelor starts up soon and after last season's hot mess freak show known as The Bachelorette how could I even fathom missing Jake's shot at redemption!?
5. Limit my caffeine intake....Alright. I thought about this one long and hard (HA! TWSS!) and it comes down to it being a safety issue for my family(plus the doctor wants me too. boo). I just don't think I could properly function without it. My abilities as a mother go hand in hand with my beloved caffeine. Red Bull is not only considered a food group to me, it's my primary food group. A little Red Bull with some OJ and I've got breakfast! BUT...I'll *gulp* TRY to cut back....
And that's IT! I'm stopping at 5. A world without Snooki and Red Bull?! Just shoot me now! I've lost my will to live! 2010 is looking gloomier and gloomier by the minute! I've gotta say that despite 2009's ups and downs, it was another year I got to spend with the love of my life and three angels in my arms....so it couldn't have been that bad :) Here's to a new year! Watch out 2010, I'm about to make you my biznatchel!!
you always crack me up! ok i should be finishing my cleaning I better go LOL I am meant to have specific blog time as well hahh
ReplyDeleteVery funny, especially number one... and two and well all of them. I may do a resolutions post but no one better hold me too it.
ReplyDeletexx
Somehow I missed number 3.. has The Hubs read that.. he's kinda cute.
ReplyDeleteNo really, why does she even have the nickname Snooki if everyone calls her Snickers...i just dont get it! :)
ReplyDeleteha ha good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteNumber two had me spitting out my coffee--you are too honestand I love ya for it!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I love that you're not waiting until after the New Year to form your excuses. Just get it out of the way now so there aren't any great expectations!
ReplyDeletethat has GOT to be the best new years list ever. I'm not even going to bother making one it's to much pressure on me!! :)
ReplyDeletelove it. That's a lot of resolutions, though! :) You're adorable.
ReplyDeleteI think your resolution should be something like "Be more of myself", because that mess is entertaining and fan-freakin'-tastic.
ReplyDeleteAnd only a hateful booger-eater would try to take your Red Bull away.
Yeah....waking up early to do anything is definitely not on my list. Sometimes I skip makeup and go with a ponytail just so I can sleep an extra 20 minutes in the morning (like today). And I know EXACTLY what you mean about scheduling in some more lovin'. My poor husband has been so neglected lately, but I don't like morning sex, I'm most nauseus at night, and it definitely has to be planned around leg shaving and our favorite shows. That makes us available for sexy time approximately one night per week. How sad are we?
ReplyDeleteWe were seperated at birth. Truly.
ReplyDeleteI am all about number 3. What's up with that? Why are women like that? Ok, why are we (just you and me and anyone else who stops fakin the funk) like that? I would also like to add that along with my legs - there's a certain "situation" no, not Jersey Shore - but my Thursday night is now called Plight Night because I love watching that shiz - called no you can't get it because I haven't gotten the Brazilian. We'll spend all night trying to find it and then you gotta Magic the Gathering your way in. Too much?
You're my boo.
Cristina
Screw making lists for New Year's... I have enough trouble just making a daily list of things to do and getting them done!
ReplyDeleteBut I have learned that if I get dressed as soon as I get out of bed (yoga pants & t-shirt;) I seem to get a little more motivated to make that list.
How am I now watching The Jersey Shore?!?! I LOVE high quality TV!!!
ReplyDeletecut back on caffeine? That's just crazy talk. :)
ReplyDeleteRight there with you on your resolutions... or lack there of to do anything thats remotely considered exercise. I think I'll take the next year to reevaluate the necessity of having a nice figure.
ReplyDeleteBiznatchel...I'm totally snagging that word.
ReplyDeleteI love love love how you rationalize your way out of your resolutions. That's how I roll too.
No non coffee caffeine...couldn't do it. Not that I would ever try too hard. Good Luck on that. :)
Happy New Year. (btw...you need to have about 20 more children; you make beautiful babies. Turn up the heat at least a couple of fertile days. or nights.)
No caffeine? ARE YOU INSANE?
ReplyDeleteGood luck, and HAPPY NEW YEAR MISSY!
Hey I tried that wake up early and work out and shower and get ready for work before the kids got up....It worked GREAT....for a day!
ReplyDeleteIt was highly over rated! Just like resolutions....totally over rated....who has time to make a list of stuff I'll never do?
Oh my goodness I am DYING.
ReplyDeleteFirstly because really? Who wakes up early to do anything? I can't. I sleep until the kids drag my butt out of bed. I like the gym, but not that much.
Love this post!
i'm not sure resolutions should be about taking the good stuff out of life...
ReplyDeletecaffeine, reality TV, blogging????
ok for more "spontenious" luuurrrve in the master bedroom though!!
5 days girl!!!! CAN'T WAAAAIIIIIITTT!!!
love you
seriously cutting back on the caffeine is just not gunna happen. i keep getting that from everyone around me and i say "bwahahahaha"
ReplyDeletehave a happy new year lady! looove you!
Hillarious! Good luck (I think)!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful New Year!
you are too much girly ;) you always make me laugh, i love it! and lady, you have no weight to lose! you are a tiny little thang!
ReplyDeletehave happy new year!! :)
getting up early?! BRUTAL. my hair's in a messy knot today because i was too lazy to get up at 8:15 instead of 8:30 and wash my 'do.
ReplyDeleteLOL! That was great! ANd you have very good points for why these won't work!
ReplyDeleteYa know your smart doing only 5. hehe. I totally need to not watch as much reality TV too. hehe. Good luck with these resolutions!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! =)
ReplyDeletehahah your hilarious.
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm Tiffany. you can call me TWoWW. Today I told the husband we need to start scheduling playtime, grown-up style on the calendar...as long as it's not during Jersey Shore. I kind of love it.
ReplyDeleteI MUST show Jimmy #3 so he'll believe me that it's NOT JUST ME!!!
ReplyDeleteIn his world, ALL the other women want it every day.
Me?
If it aint Saturday, why you askin?
hahaha i loves it! I don't even try to think of my resolutions anymore, because I know as soon as I do- i will have 10 reasons why it won't work. I'm very easy on myself. I sleep better!
ReplyDeleteHow bad is it that when I read the "turn up the heat in the bedroom" I thought you meant to literally adjust the thermostat? Yikes.
ReplyDeleteNo coffee, please, that is liquid personality for me. I don't think my family would recognize me with out coffee. Bitchy, moody, (alright, alright, they might recognize me.
ReplyDeleteThat has to be the funniest list I have read!
omg. you are one of the most hilarious people ever. seriously. I majorly love this post. dont hate me... but, I get up before the kids do to go work out and shower. 5am. 5am. 5am. BLEH. I usually do it for a good 3 weeks straight and then take 1 off but still work out on the weekends that off week. But that's not really something I stick to 100% ;) If you need a wake up call every morning just let me know ;) ha. I could cut back on the coffee in take A LOT...maybe you can hold my hand through it! Happy New Year Alicia!! You are awesome lady!
ReplyDeleteThose are good resolutions but I think you have the wrong attitude here--sounds like you're giving up before you start! LOL Obviously, you are a realist!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.
Yeah, dude, when you said no reality TV I got all scurd & stuff! Thought you were gonna miss the Bach. I never did like Jake, thought he was a whiny little girly man. But, maybe he'll grow on me when I have only him to focus on and a flock of nearly nutty women are fighting over him. Somehow guys that are being fought over seem a little hotter to me. Which possibly explains my inappropriate feelings about JT! Happy New Year, Mama!
ReplyDelete#3 is HILARIOUS! I just found your blog through "Mama's Loosin' It"! I will be back to read more, great blog!
ReplyDeleteI've thought about cutting back on blogging time, too, BUT, again (are we limited to how many commas we can use in just ONE sentence?!) what the h-e-double hockey sticks would I do with the rest of my time?! READ?
ReplyDeleteOh, it's also important that I took the first statement in #3 quite literally and thought, 'What the hell?! Is it that cold in her bedroom?!'
WOW.
OK...so it was important for you to know...not just flat out important...PROOF-READ, Jess.
ReplyDeleteYour resolutions are hilarious. I love train wrecks, but have missed Jersey Shore...and I am not sure I could function without caffeine.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Mama Kat's.
Holly @ 504 Main
i say you reject all that shit. Do it ALL. Coffee, sleep, blog. You're not killing people. Do it up.
ReplyDeleteGreat plans-- I hope you make it! I have no hope for mine-- but I'll give it a shot...
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful new year!
I gotta say, the nookie thing, I am so there with you! make an appointment and I'll check to see if I can fit you in for your 5 minutes of fame! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a great list...sassy kitten..hope you can live without caffeine. I am living proof it can be done! :)
ReplyDelete#2 totally sounds like me. But shhh! don't tell my Momma. I am probably going to have to adopt your list, too...but I cured myself of the addiction to Reality TV a while back. You know, because my husband hogs the TV while playing XBox...it doesn't leave a lot of time for my addictions!!
ReplyDeletethey BETTER not cancel jersey shore! i need NEED my trash tv! i have no intentions of cutting back on the trash in 2010! i could stand to cut back MY THIGHS, but that is a sore subject that we don't want to dwell on right now!
ReplyDeletecheers to a super new year for ya! :)
Great list! I couldn't imagine my life without Dr. Pepper. I would seriously hurt someone. I'd be the knife wielding Charlie Sheen of the bloggy world.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
CHEESY PUPUSA!!!! have so much fun tonight, whatever you may be doing. expect texts with lots of 80's-ness. haha! i can't wait to see you next year...make that next WEEK! bwaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOU WOMAN!
I could have written #3. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have an awesome 2010!
I love that all of your resolutions are "I'm going to stop doing this...but probably not"...because that's how mine go every year too.
ReplyDeletePeople like us are just best left alone. I mean how do you make perfect what is already perfect? Deep thoughts.
A world without snooki/snickers/princess of poughkeepsie, New York is not a world I choose to live it.
ReplyDeleteP.s. I love that you said TWSS... my sister and I used to say T-Dubs in front of my parents, until we got them in on the game! Holler.
Hahaha... At least you're being realistic!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Years!
Good luck! Happy new year!
ReplyDeleteWorry less, relax more. That's my recipe for the next 12 months. Here's to 2010...Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI could never give up my caffeine. I'd be lost without it..
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!!
Are you sure you aren't trying to tackle too much by taking on these 5 difficult resolutions ;-)
ReplyDeleteI don't get up early for anything. period. unless I HAVE to.
I am so with ya on #3! What woman isnt? Oh yeah those who actually put their hubs high on the priority list!
ReplyDeleteI have never, not even once, had a sip of Red Bull...or any other energy drink for that matter.
I just happened to stumble across your blog after I watched "Julie & Julia" and found it out it was about are real person (Julie). Ok, I have to get to the point here...I was going through some of the blogs I subscribe (looking for some new ones to follow)and I found a link for yours. You really made me laugh. I'm looking forward to your furture posts!
ReplyDeleteHot Damn, what a list......
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you girlfriend, I think you are the cat's MEOW and wish you a FABULOUS 2010!!
Smooches,
Sassy Chica
looking forward to seeing you later this year, until then...Be good and if cant be good, then at least be careful and if you cant be either then take me with you!!
Oh how I would love to do numbero uno. NEVER gonna happen. Ah ha ha. Happy new year sweets!
ReplyDeleteWoo hoo, Bachelor starts tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHaha that's a funny list, I never make any new years resolutions, it's easiest that way :)
ReplyDeleteKeepin 'em realistic... right?
ReplyDeleteFound you thru SITS - love the resolutions. Good luck with those.
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh I LOVE jersey shores too!! Those people just crack me up!!
ReplyDelete