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Is five minutes ALONE too much to ask for?!
Apparently in this house hold it is. There's a lot I can do in 5 minutes. For example, I could switch over and fold laundry. Or I could take a shower and even SHAVE my legs, maybe an armpit or two if I'm lucky. I could read a chapter in my book. Heck, I could read a blog or two. I could friggin poop in PEACE!! That would be glorious!! So you see what I mean? I could really make a lot of use of five minutes.
However....there is also a lot my ritalin snorting crack-head off springs can do in 5 minutes too. They could empty every item of clothing from their dressers or from my bathroom.
{ May I interest you in some Qtips? Perhaps a band aid? }
{ Can we have spaghetti for dinner?? }
One boy
One marker
One couch
Five minutes.....
One marker
One couch
Five minutes.....
{ This is just one cushion....now imagine this on the rest of the ENTIRE couch}
Yeaahhh....Boogie, or Boogaso as I now refer to him, took it upon himself to use the couch as a canvas while I took 5 MINUTES to myself to take a shower. Breathe in, breathe out. Note to self: Hairspray works WONDERS at getting out ink from upholstery.(But your house may reek like a giant bottle of aquanet for days) So I guess the real question shouldn't be 'Is 5 minutes alone too much to ask for?'......it should be....
Is 5 minutes alone even worth it??!!
{Don't ask my husband...he'll say yes...HA!}
oh my...oh my lady you must have the patience of a saint...i do not envy this situation...i would most definitely have lost my cool all over the ladies had they done this...
ReplyDeleteyou are one amazing mother!! and you definitely deserve 5 minutes to bliss to yourself!!!
I'm really not for child abuse but if my kid drew all over my couch it would take a LOT to restrain me from smacking him upside the head. God I'm gonna be a good mom huh?
ReplyDeleteRegardless your little Miss is still presh!
I am sorry because I am laughing, only because I have SO been there. Ugh 5 minutes to do anything without possible disaster striking would be nice, wouldn't it?
ReplyDeleteNO!! I cannot believe that cute little Boogie did that!! There would be steam shooting out of my ears!! But Presley, seriously, who could get mad at that face?? Love her!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness, you should let me borrow them for practice, I need patience practice!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is when you have to chant over and over again..."it's just a couch, it's just a couch, it's just a couch"...and remember the little creative genius is exactly that, YOUR creative little genius. Unless it's a neighbor kid and then all bets are off.
ReplyDeletehaha. Easy for me to say. Most of my kids are grown and I won't let anyone even put their feet on the couch.
Her expression upon the dump of the spaghetti noodles is just too much!
ReplyDeleteI've been there with the couch except mine was lipstick.
Godspeed, my sweet friend, godspeed.
OMG! Alicia I am so sorry about the couch!! SO SORRY!!! My son has done that. And he did it all over my moms wall once, when he was 1. And I was so worried when she saw it...but she thought is was a master piece and she never bothered to paint the wall over!!! LOL {you can trust though, that if I had done that as a kid it would not have gone over so well lol...grandkids.... they are PERFECT LOL }
ReplyDeleteyou are doing an incredible job!!! Couch and all!! Nothing says a loving mama like a newly designed couch!! and tell hubs that even 30 minutes is not too much to ask!!
Hope you get a nice long shave and shower in!!! You are doing an amazing job!!
you must have dirty ears. or actually. really clean ears. or maybe they're for your hubby's alone time. ack! *runs away*.
ReplyDeleteI hate to laugh at someone else's misfortune but this post made me giggle. I have yet to experience life with a toddler (mine can't even roll over yet). Your commentary on the photos was great.
ReplyDeleteAck! This is going on my "cons" list!!
ReplyDeleteWow.. thats new one, writing on the couch.
ReplyDeleteYour little girl is just too cute.. how can you resist that face. The expression with the spaghetti is priceless and adorable. Of course I didn't have to clean it up.
Rest assured they grow up.. and worry you more.
xx
Looking at the couch with the marker....that makes me sick. Ugh. Does the hairspray really work??
ReplyDeleteTime to put all the markers UP or OUT! So been there!
ReplyDeleteAs for the couch, DO OVER? I would not be down with scrubbing all the marks off!!
Love that cute Miss P! And, are your armpits still stubbly? LOL
oh my Lord.... this is great birth control for me by the way. That is just terrible.... bless your little heart!
ReplyDeleteSo did you cry or just break out in hysterical laughter when you saw the couch? Maybe both? (after you said WTF? quietly inside your head...)
ReplyDeleteOhhh dear!! I think you've had a right week of it. But her expression really does look so angelic... 'But.. it wasn't me' lol.
ReplyDeleteSE x
I just have to ask, where was your babysitter? And by babysitter I mean, the TV.
ReplyDeleteha! look at her face like "mom i just wanted to make something pretty for you"! hilarious. gotta love little kids right?
ReplyDeleteone time, when i was five, a best friend of mine was over and we colored our stairs that had BRAND NEW CARPET on them. we used the make up from the halloween kit my mom had. not only was the makeup all over the carpet but ALL OVER US! haha man the things you moms go through.
All I can do is laugh, cause if I thought of how much my kids get into while I'm simply peeing, I'd need to be committed TONIGHT. Thanks for the tip on the hair spray ;). It will most likely come in handy before too long :).
ReplyDeleteWOW, i would be s o grouchy hahahahhahah
ReplyDeleteLordy... wowsas!! Well... here's hoping you get 5 minutes of peace soon. If I lived closer I would sooooooo hang out with your munchkins so you could shave your armpits :)
ReplyDeleteand i was thinking i wanted 4 kids....i might want to rethink that after seeing this ;)
ReplyDeleteenjoy the rest of your week hun!
I showed Big Man the couch picture and he gasped and said "Oh no..." : )
ReplyDeleteDuct tape works for about 5 mins... Or have the kids talk to the grandparents. What is this time to your self you speak of? I can't even visit the loo myself without someone pounding on the door. Or better yet the dog (or kid) sticking a aw or nose under the door asking if I am in there.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that. I'm in your place right now, I have a cake mess, a large tinkle puddle in the bathroom, and a trashed bedroom to take care of. Yea, was the nap worth it? Well, maybe.
ReplyDeleteAshley Mills
Tristan did that to my curtains awhile back. :S darn kids. don't they know markers go on paper.
ReplyDeleteI felt relieved on seeing the first two pics cause we have alot of that at our house. I know I'd be very upset about the couch, though. I had crayon on the walls...several times...when my daughter was younger. No fun. I hope you can get that ink out. And if you figure out how to get five minutes alone, safely, please let me know.
ReplyDeleteI love that one of the labels for this post is "kids are turds". They're lucky they're cute, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteAck! I've been there.
ReplyDeleteI'd love a PIP (poop in peace) but it is just not in the cards for me. Apparently watching me take a dump is entertaining to my three year old. *Sighs*
OH. MY. LORD! Is he still sniveling in the corner from the butt chewing? Ohhhh mann, then again I'd have to laugh my ass off if my son did that....that's what I did when he drew on the wall!
ReplyDeleteHope it's all clean...Scotch Guard here I come!
maybe I dream in the hope that since I put throwovers on he wont take them off to draw on my nice still new lookng white couch!
ReplyDeleteI feel like the world should stop the second any mother/caregiver needs to poop.
ReplyDelete5 minutes for a quality deuce?
I think that's more than fair.
Seriously? How does hairspray get ink out of upholstery? I'm interested. You have my attention...but only for 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteHey Mamacita!!!
ReplyDeleteOoou wee them kiddies sure do keep you busy, yikes marker on couch!
Smooches,
Sassy Chica
Oh. My. Gosh....
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I would have freaked out about the couch. The monsters have colored on the floor, the walls, the table... But the couch is seriously off limits!! LOL
Oh man. There would be spankings and time outs and "straight to bed"s all around in my house! You really do have the patience of a saint!
ReplyDeleteI have been here a million times. It's insane what those little buggers are able to get into within a min of taking your eyes of them!! My first liked to grab the ground espresso out of the pantry, pour it ALL on the floor and drive his trucks through it like 'dirt'. Not cool. Now I shower when the kids are sleeping for the night...I cannot leave my hooligans alone for a stinkin' second!!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling my two year old is going to do things like that and more. I cant jump in the shower unless she is sleeping...otherwise she is climbing on the kitchen table and who knows what else...and thats with the 8 year old watching her!
ReplyDeleteThat's some fancy marker. Must be the new crayola line.
ReplyDeleteOh man...I know exactly how you feel. Willow's lovely mural is still on display and stares me in the face each time that I walk into my room. Faaantastic. Of course, now that we're moving it will finally be taken care of! Of course.
ReplyDeletenever a dull moment at your house huh! sorry for all that must have been truely stressful hope the rest of your week goes well
ReplyDeleteyou sure have a lot of patience i would be furious!!!! but man 5 minutes gets you no where today :( i sooo wish it did though
ReplyDeleteOh my Momma! I would hang me some children by their toes with DUCT TAPE! Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteay yi yi! i am so sorry! 5 minutes. eke. it isn't that much time, but boy those kids put it to use!
ReplyDeletewhen i was a little kid my mom was on the phone and i took a magic marker and drew a line at my wrist level, around the entire inside of the house. and when i got to a door knob, i made a gigantic messy circle, and then continued the line. what a monster!
WOW!!!!! do you want me to babysit dear?? KIDDING jajaja I joke obviously. I bet babysitting those kids must be super fun.. really.
ReplyDeleteLOVE that second picture of cutie pie-- she looks caught in the act! Yes hairspray does work well on upholstery. but yikes, ours didn't look as bad as that!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI looked for away for a moment the other day and the dude had used his yogurt as hair gel. NICE!
ReplyDeleteI just love that life provides us so many reasons to drink.
ReplyDeleteLMAO
Just kidding................sort of
Not too long ago I took 2 minutes to take a wizz and in that time Girlie drug the half full bag of dog food to the living room (from the kitchen - she's a strong Chica) and upended it in the center of the room. She helped clean it up...one kernal of food at a time so it took like 3 weeks but its all picked up now, and all I could do was laugh. She really was quite the cutie sitting ontop of a mountain of dog food.