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And when it comes to school lunches I throw all nutritional caution out the window. I don't give a rat's behind if he eats an entire package of oreos for lunch as long as he flippin eats! And let me tell you something right now...this kid has it easy. We're talking yo-go's, chips, pb&j's (cut out into dinosaur shapes without the crust!!), COOKIES.... I even draw the happy face on the napkin that says "I love you... love, mom"...YEAH. I know!! Most kids would be BEGGING for this gig! But noooo.....my little casanova's too busy kissing girls on the playground (don't EVEN get me started on THAT!) to be eating his lunch. I'm gonna make him a lunch like I used to get, and then he'll learn to appreciate me.
You see, growing up, I didn't eat my lunch. Ever. But I had a good reason! Every single day without fail my dad would give me a bologna sandwich smothered in mayo (I'm dry heaving right now), juice, and some form of fruit. Every day. See??? No yo-go's, no cookies....I got straight up bologna fool. But at least I ACTED like I ate it!! Because every single day without fail, I would stuff the entire bag of lunch into the air vent in the floor.
Mmmhhhmm.
I would pull off the metal grate and shove the bag as far back as it could possibly go. It worked for a while until my dad traced the vile stench back to my air vent and found the stash of rotting bologna wreckage...he was almost as mad as the time where we popped the water bed on purpose, threw on our bathing suits and had a pool party inside....but guess who didn't get bologna after that?
But I'm getting off subject...back to my manorexic little brat. I'm giving the kid one last chance and he better eat that lunch tomorrow...or else the only thing he'll be kissing at lunch is the sandwich I'll be shoving in his mouth.
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Question for ya, why didn't you just cart the lunch to school and chuck it in the trash man? WTH?! The air vent? I mean, A+ for effort on that one, but dang girl, you really didn't think that one through! As for the kid, I have the same problem w/#1, not everyday, but lots of days. I'm all mean about it though so I keep sending the same crap back and forth to school every single day (not the sandwich, I don't want him to die or anything), but the chips and the cookies and stuff. At the end of the week it's like dust in individual bags and I chuck it. He ain't gonna eat it either way so why waste it. So, here's my pearl of knowledge, don't fret it, he'll eat when he's hungry. And, for all you know, some fast little mama is over there sharing his bologna with him and he doesn't want to open his bag and have his sappy mom note fall out. Would totally eff up his game:)
ReplyDeletehahaha...manorexic.
ReplyDeleteAnd with our 2 year old, our Ped said, "your job is to make the food..there job is to eat the food. If you have done your job, that is all you can do."
My thought? Ummmm. WHAT? He needs to EAT.
My little mini-me(Kamden the 7yr old) is obsessed with eating nutritious meals(he reads the friggin' Nutrition labels on everything). BUT, he doesn't eat much, the ADHD meds are to blame. I try to make sure he has Vitamins and protein drinks to make up for what the little skinny butt doesn't eat. I ask the doc about it and he said it isn't an issue as long as he doesn't lose more than 10% of his body weight.
ReplyDeleteAlyssa seemed to go through stages with her lunch. I agree though, it IS INFURIATING!
ReplyDeleteyeah why didnt you take it to school and drop it in the bin there? Now here in Malta they stress they need to eat and I stress with them that as long as no weight is lost and he is healthy than he will eat when he feels like....dont fret too much! he'll grow big and laugh at you whenever you tell him that he wouldn't eat later
ReplyDeleteI remember those days with my daughter. Cool trick with the bologna sandwich.
ReplyDeletefor obvious reasons, i cannot give any advices or opinion on the matter as i don't have kids and kids don't eat sandwiches at lunch time in France!
ReplyDeleteon the other end, the pool party... hahaha!!! you even pushed it to put your bathing suits on?? LOVE. IT!!!
xxx
I remember never eating lunch either, not really clear as to why. Maybe let him pick out and pack his own lunch? Just guessing here becuase my baby is 6 months old and eats on my boobies when ever they are anywhere CLOSE to her.
ReplyDeleteWhat if you make him pick it out or pack it in the night before - for a few weeks, make it cut into his play time, make it like a job so he'll see what you do for him week. It may not make him eat it but it gives him some responsibility and hopefully make him see that he wasted his time putting it together............... Ahhh.... the kissy face stage - sweetie, hate to tell you but it only gets worse!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could offer you some suggestions, but since I currently do not have any rug rats of the two legged nature, I'm no use to you. Other than to provide you with the musical stylings of my laughter! This is hoooolarious. I mean, so not funny that he's not eating, but hooolarious nonetheless. Hope it works!
ReplyDeletelol I hate to laugh at this whole situation BUT when I was little I constantly stuck popsicle sticks into the vents! lol those little slots were perfect! I don't know what to tell you about the lunch stuff though. I'd kill for that lunch!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't he know to throw it all in the garbage can at school so you THINK he ate it?? That's what my kids did, till I let them buy their lunch, and according to my credit card statement, they are eating lunch now!
ReplyDeletethis is such a frustrating situation, i get frustrated on the days a lunch comes back barely touched. we found having Mr.J help make his own lunch helped some & then making sure he understood how to use the time at lunch to actually EAT. it's still a process though.
ReplyDeleteOh maaaan.... kids and food. Bleurgh. There always seems to be something FAR more interesting to do than eat!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had that problem!! ;-)
LBM xxx
First off I love that you openly admit you popped that shiz on purpose! That is rad.
ReplyDeleteAs for the sandwich... Who knows. I never ate my lunch at school unless dad threw a cupcake or something in it. Never ate the sandwich though. I'm not a huge fan of sandwiches in general. Weird.
Good luck though
When i was making G's lunch he would always come home with his lunch too. I mean, he might have eaten a little bit of chips or something but that was it.
ReplyDeleteMy eldest is not big on eating her lunch either. and she also enjoys kissing. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! your little "casanova"...do tell. i love juicy make-out stories. haha. totally kidding.
ReplyDeletehey maybe he has the same food allergies as his mama, ever thought about that? or not, who knows. i'm a little jealous i never got lunches like his. i mean, dinosaur cut out sandwiches?! whaaatttt!!! you're the COOLEST MOM alive!!!
ps. already be knowing about the costco pupusas. i have yet to try them though.
pps. how was that pizza? did you manhandle that ish?
One I want to know what they eat for lunch in france if not sandwiches?
ReplyDeleteTwo I'd make him pack it himself - maybe if he shows some responsibility in it he'll eat it. Maybe not - but at least it's not your air vent he is stinking up :)
My ped also said, a kid won't let them self starve..
ReplyDeleteAnd really whats with the air vent. Toss it at school, that's what i did if I didn't like the lunch.
PS I'll eat the lunch I love pb&j and cookies.
xx
OMG, this is freaking hilarious....My BFF had this same issue with her son for an entire year. She was losing her mind.
ReplyDeleteMaybe....just maybe...he wants bologna with mayo, maybe? Wouldn't that be awesome if you made that one day and he gobbled it right up?
Now on to more important issues...I will be seeing you in Vegas!!! Wanna fly to SD and drive with me?!? ;-) I WISH!!!
We need to talk clothes!!! What to wear, what to wear!
So after reading about your manorexic child.. that picture just made me laugh!! You sure have your hands full... And kissing girls (dad must be proud), wowsers!! I ate my lunches up until 7th grade. All through junior high my friends and I would just toss our entire lunch into the garbage (seriously... what the hell was wrong with us??). All of the work you put into your son's lunches, and all of the work MY mom used to put in... just to get tossed and wasted. Hope he starts filling that tummy of his soon!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, my mom used to pack me a bowl of cereal and those little Vienna sausages (we didn't have much money then lol). I still get the willies whenever I see a can of those little things...bleck.
ReplyDeleteDude I wish someone would make me those lunches everyday now. Can I move in with you and have you adopt me?? Pretty please!
ReplyDeleteHuh, yeah . . . Why the air vent? I only ask this because I often suspect that my little angel throws away some of the veggies that we make her cart to school and focuses only on the friggin' chips or whatever MacGyver insists that she get EVERY DAY (yes, I'm THAT mom - I Am the health food nazi, and I still hold, every single day, that she will thank me for this when she gets older).
ReplyDeleteI have no advice about getting him to eat. I'm pretty sure I'd do exactly what you're planning on. I will ask you nicely, then I will threaten you, then I WILL make you. And it won't be fun.
Hmm. You didn't eat your lunch, and now your oldest isn't eating his.
ReplyDeleteIt's a total bummer when things come around full circle. Hang in there!
Dude, you're the coolest mom ever! PB&J, cookies, juice...awesome! I remember being in elementary school & having to take a nasty bologna sandwich for lunch too (it would be all soggy by lunchtime *gag*)
ReplyDeleteI think my mom let me take a lunchable for lunch a couple of times & I was in HEAVEN :)
Good luck!
Here's a story to put this into perspective:
ReplyDeleteQuite a few years ago I was a DARE mom...all you need to know about that is that I 'ate lunch' with the 6th graders and a policeman. Exciting, I know. Anywhoo...I would see a first grader every week pull out his nutritious lunch, line it all up...then he would eat his candy treat. THEN he would toss the entire lunch into the garbage. See, his Mom never even knew he wasn't eating...hahahaha.
I have a manorexic son. I can get anything with protein in his skinny little mouth. One time a Dr. told me that no child is going to starve himself. So, the Dr. is advocating a junk food diet. That's what I took from his comment.
And this is the longest comment evah. oops.
I always had the crappy lunches in school. My friend would come with a can of squeezy cheese, and crackers, everyday, and she wouldn't eat it!
ReplyDeleteThreaten if he doesn't eat you will go to lunch with him in your slammin Pj's and curlers to make sure he eats...
ReplyDeletemanorexic-I love it!
LOL - I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE coming to see what you've written on your blog every morning and your posts never fail me - you are so freaking hilarious! HA! That is too cute and funny about him kissing girls on the playground during his lunch hour when he should be eating. Do you have the chance to actually go eat lunch with him once a week or anything like that? I used to do that with my kids when I worked 5 minutes from their schools. What does he think/say about kissing and not eating and what does he say about you coming to SHOVE the PB&J down his throat? Hee hee hee - Hang in there girl - unfortunately, it does NOT get any easier - the issues only get bigger and worse - *sigh* :o((( Big hugs! Trac~ :o)
ReplyDeleteawww...hahahaha...little man!!! why are you not eating??! and KISSES?!?! hmmm...you've got a little future heartbreaker on your hands i think! even if he is a skinny one...ahaha!
ReplyDeleteum.canNOT believe you would stuff your lunch in a vent...seriously was the school trash too good for you? you are hilarious woman!
Good luck with this. And what's wrong with bologna? Its good, sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAt least he brings it home. I found my son was throwing his lunch away. I told him if he's not going to eat it then to bring it home or at least give it to another kid who is actually hungry.
ReplyDeletetrust me though now he eats all his lunch and sometimes trades with his friends. It started out with me putting chips in 2 bags, one for him and one to give to his friend to share. They would swithc back and forth sharing treats in their lunch. it was cute.
I know it's annoying, hopefully he will eat his lunch. I didn't have lunch, if I wanted it I needed to make it myself and I never did. I wish you made my lunch everyday. YUMMMY!!!
Oh come see my Halloween Spooktacular, going on now!
I am wondering why you didn't take the lunch to school and THEN get rid of it...strange. :)
ReplyDeleteMy kids have trouble with eating lunch too. The older one is eating hot lunch and I THINK he's eating enough.
The younger one only wants cookies. That's it. And that ain't happenin.
That must have been some stanky bologna! Ewwwwwwww! Cant they order lunch at school instead of you packing his lunch? Maybe he would rather have that? Or maybe he just needs the sandwich shoved down his throat
ReplyDeleteYou funny, funny girl!
ReplyDeleteYour kid lives in kid's paradise for sure... Now my kids are stuck with bread and fruit. (Hey, I'm afraid that all the other mom's are going to hate me... It's a norwegian thing...)
My daughter never eats her lunch. NEVER! And she doesn't eat breakfast... I have no idea how she survives (and she is no stick figure either) Yesterday was the first time her lunchbox was empty and I had actually filled her box with waffles (first unhealthy meal EVER) and she ate. So what do I do... become the most unpopular mom and feed my kid sweet stuff or stick to my (...) convictions and hope that she'll wake up one day loving carrots and cheese?
You must have been an adorable child... Making a swimmingpool out of the waterbed? Priceless!
Fill his lunch box with cotton balls, gum wrappers and banana peels. It'll make your day more interesting at least, right?
ReplyDeletewhy, that little ingrate ;-)
ReplyDeleteDo you think he would eat if he bought lunch? or would that simply be throwing more money down the crapper???
or maybe there isn't an option to buy?
If my son's was as awesomely junk-filled as the one you mention, he would be begging for me to pack lunch every day :D
Geez. What's the matter with him? Poor guy doesn't know what he's missin'..I mean, come on, you cookie cutter his SANDWICH??!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's eating someone else's lunch...hmmm...
Your bologna (gag) story is hilarious!
Kissing Cassanova...hmmm, sounds like my little guy, except he eats his lunch! Not sure if this has been suggested...ask if anyfoods are bothering his belly or making him not feel so good??
ReplyDeleteI hope you find resolution!
Smooches,
Sassy Chica
Casanova! EAT UP! You need your strength to chase the ladies. hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteUmm, I can't help you. But I can LOVE YOU! Hows that? Borderline lezzy?!! yay? There are some comments here that are making me LAUGH.
And yes, I'm with banananananana...did you make that pizza your you know WHAT?
This post is cracking me up!!!
ReplyDeleteMy youngest went through a phase from about 3rd-5th grade where she didn't eat her lunch either. I remember being so frustrated with her, and while I didn't make fancy shapes out of her sandwiches, she did have plenty of junk to choose from. She was too busy talking and said she never had enough time, and then all she wanted to do was eat when she got home. go figure! So hang in there, it will pass, and be grateful he's not shoving it in the air vent!
I worked in the lunchrooms for a while when the kids were in elementary and I saw so many of them throwing away their lunches and perfectly good puddings, jellos, fruit, etc.
ReplyDeleteThat's when I decided that I didn't care if my kids ate their lunch as long as they brought what they didn't eat home. It would bug the crap out of me if they threw it away.
ADHD meds fo shiiiiz. my little bro took ritilin and he turned into like a skeleton, my mom ended up sending him with chocolate meal replacements to school and he would put them in his milk container. kind of a weird solution but it worked.
ReplyDeleteyou are so funny! We went through an ignoring lunch phase too....lol...its so stressful, I was like you EAT ANYTHING I DONT CARE WHAT JUST EAT!!
ReplyDeleteummm, the vent? why? lol
Ooooh, he's a heartbreaker.
ReplyDeleteBologna skeeves me out. Seriously, ick ick ick.
Will you make my lunches mama? I'll make you some gluten free cupcakes!
wesome friggin post! really! Ihave one or two of these "sweet" souls whodo't eat. Wish i had tha problem lol
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!
i am sure you already tried this, but ask him what he wants to eat for lunch? doy. i know that is lame. i would have no idea what to do with this child. i'd be the child next to him gladly eating HIS lunch, plus mine.
ReplyDeletesrsly, though...how cute is he? i don't think i could be mean to a face that cute. oh! who am i kidding, i'm like the wicked witch of the west when it comes to kids anymore, but he is a total cutie!!!
ReplyDeletethat is hilariously disgusting. i can not even imagine the smell bologna gives off after a week.
ReplyDeleteI remember trying to trade up in my lunch, I always got boring stuff too, no twinkies or ding dongs....nothing! At least he brings the stuff home.
ReplyDeletemaybe you should send him with an empty lunch box HA HA HA HA THEN he'll want to eat.
ReplyDeleteThe air vent? Did your school not have trash cans?
ReplyDeleteEvery day for a year my dad would pack me a pb&marshmellow sandwich, pringles, and a cut up pickle and I would buy orangeade from the vending machine. To this day I cannot eat all of those things together. Separately, we're good, together vomit.
I like Sara's idea of filling his box with inedible stuff, just to see what he does!
ReplyDeleteAnd I blogged about a similar problem just this morning. Because really, short of crammed food down their throat yourself, how do these kids exist on just fruit snacks?
I used to be the same way when I was little...the school would have to call my mom and sometimes she would even bring me mcdonalds...that was a sweet freakin thing I had going on....ah-ha kids with pb&j, i have a happy meal bishes!! :)
ReplyDeleteManorexic! LOL
ReplyDeleteMy hubs always talks about how his Dad packed him the same lunch every day AFTER he had put on his aftershave....Aqua Velva Sandwich! YUM!
My son likes to eat the crap but not the sandwhich. If the sandwhich comes back whole he gets less to go with it the next day. You think the kids would smarten up and throw it away at school ;o)
ReplyDelete