I respond to his serenade with a sarcastic "Settle down Maverick."
Without missing a beat he turns to me with those bedroom eyes, or come to think of it maybe it was gas, I get the two looks confused sometimes...and with a raise of the eyebrow he says "Wanna get Goosed?"....Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln, do you see what I have to put up with???
And just to really drive the point home, he takes one last stab at it and purrs in my ear "I'll take your breathe away.."
OH FREAK! Yes, honey. How can I refuse such romantic gestures? I don't even know how my pantaloons just didn't drop....honestly now! I'm swooning over here!
Well, at least I can say the love is alive! HAA! But not only can he turn anything ummm, 'romantic', but my little casanova has some killer pick up phrases to go with those come-hither eye brow raises.... Like these:
* Is your daddy a baker? Because your buns look delicious.
* Do you have a map? Because I keep on getting lost in your eyes.
* Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
* Do you have a band-aid? I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
* Did you eat lucky charms for breakfast? Because you're looking magically delicious.
* Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you.
* Let's make like fabric softener and snuggle.
* Can I borrow your library card? Because I'm checking you out.
* You're dad must have been a butcher, because you've got two fine hams stuffed down the back of your pants.
So what about you....what's your favorite pick up line? I need some good ones to throw back at him!
Without missing a beat he turns to me with those bedroom eyes, or come to think of it maybe it was gas, I get the two looks confused sometimes...and with a raise of the eyebrow he says "Wanna get Goosed?"....Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln, do you see what I have to put up with???
And just to really drive the point home, he takes one last stab at it and purrs in my ear "I'll take your breathe away.."
OH FREAK! Yes, honey. How can I refuse such romantic gestures? I don't even know how my pantaloons just didn't drop....honestly now! I'm swooning over here!
Well, at least I can say the love is alive! HAA! But not only can he turn anything ummm, 'romantic', but my little casanova has some killer pick up phrases to go with those come-hither eye brow raises.... Like these:
* Is your daddy a baker? Because your buns look delicious.
* Do you have a map? Because I keep on getting lost in your eyes.
* Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
* Do you have a band-aid? I scraped my knee when I fell for you.
* Did you eat lucky charms for breakfast? Because you're looking magically delicious.
* Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you.
* Let's make like fabric softener and snuggle.
* Can I borrow your library card? Because I'm checking you out.
* You're dad must have been a butcher, because you've got two fine hams stuffed down the back of your pants.
So what about you....what's your favorite pick up line? I need some good ones to throw back at him!











You TOTALLY need to stop lying! You are so into me right now. Read about it. Make a play Cline.
ReplyDeleteThis one was actually "delivered" to me at a bar in DC:
ReplyDelete"Excuse me, do you work for UPS?"
"No, why?"
"Because you have been checking out my package all night long!"
OMG You had me at Goosed. LMAO. My side hurts so bad right now from Laughing. THe pick up lines are classic! I won't tell you the nasty ass lines I'd get at a bar because of my tongue being pierced. LOL
ReplyDeleteThe PoPo uses ths one on me "Puddins, There's plenty of fish in the sea (this is where i give evil stare) "but you're the only one I want to stuff and mount on my wall" (that's where i roll my eyes and walk away, lol)
ReplyDeleteI wish I had good lines like that! I just texted the Husband this morning something about hot monkey sex. He said he'd bring the monkey. Weirdos I tell ya. STRANGE birds.
ReplyDeleteAnd a Mormon one, "Have you ever held the Priesthood? Want to?"
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any good lines for you. Sorry :(
ReplyDeleteHowever my fav is when the boy goes "I made you something" and points to his expanding crotchal region. Ah Romance!
My husband comes up with some great one liners has well. It's a talent. Then again he has the humor of a 13 yr old boy.
ReplyDeleteis that a keg in your pants...'cause i want to tap dat ASS!!!
ReplyDeleteyou like pupusas? i got the best in town.
there you go! that one works every time. how do you think i picked up on dave? hahaha! today must be the LOVE day because we all blogged about our significant others. we ROCK, just sayin.
Oh, your sweetheart is Don Juan compared to the crap I get.
ReplyDelete"wanna play hide the sausage?"
"go bend over the bed..."
"wanna see my wiener?"
Yeah, those are just the ones I am not embarrassed to post here!
What's a pick up line?? Shit, haven't heard one of those in years!
ReplyDeleteoh lady...you sure know how to make any day of my week better! and i'll take a funny hub over a romantic one anytine!!
ReplyDeletethese pick up lines would actually work on me for that very reason cuz i would just burst out laugh and honnestly that's half the job done...
yeah i'm quite low maintenance...maybe i should upgrade...
mwoah!!
Here's a Halloween one for ya:
ReplyDelete"Mmm baby! You're decomposing in ALL the right places!"
Bwahahahahahahahaha.... I am laughing my ass off over here!!!
ReplyDeleteCheestastic pick up lines... let's see:
Your eyes are like mirrors- cuz I can see myself in you.
Baby, somebody better call God because I think he's missing an angel.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
If you were a tear in my eye, I wouldn't cry for fear of losing you...
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night...
My hubs is not nearly so clever. I usually just get "I got your (whatever we were talking about at the time) right here" accompanied by a crotch grab.
ReplyDeletehahaha omg i love the fabric softener one! ha!
ReplyDeleteI think they were all made from the same mold!!!
ReplyDeleteHa..I totally relate. My hubby takes things out of context all the time!! So funny how they think thats what gets us into bed with em!!! Massage my neck and play with my hair, ever heard of it?
ReplyDeleteLMAO, those lines are hilarious! I'm at work & I'm cracking up here, they now think I've gone crazy.
ReplyDeleteHe reminds me so much of my husband with those cheesy lines. At least they always keep us laughing, right.
lmao....
ReplyDeleteNo lie, the first time Sean and I got hot and heavy, I hesitated and he whispered in my ear "Just go with it."
ReplyDeleteI still give him hell for that :)
Other than that, it's usually the standard "Your ass is so hot..."
Those lines are hilarious. I need to keep them in mind to surprise my husband. He'll be all, "WHAT? Are you sick or something?"
ReplyDeleteOkay, seriously? How do you not have like a TON of kids with that man? WIth lines like that, do you ever leave the bedroom?
ReplyDelete=)
Oh too funny!! My hubby is of the same mold..and I just made the mistake of reading this post to him...now he has some new material, hehe.
ReplyDeleteLove it when the love is alive like this!!
One time I had a guy say to me "I'm in heaven, you're an angel"....
ReplyDeletePlease tell me he didn't capture your love in the beginning through the use of one of those pick-up lines.
ReplyDeleteahhahahahahaha! those are awesome!
ReplyDeleteOH THOSE LINES!!! KLASSY! hahahahhahaha
ReplyDeleteHere's where I wish I were anonymous so I could actually tell you some of the lame-o stuff CoTU (Center of the Universe) comes up with... Just can't do it here! I have kids to think about! Yikes--
ReplyDeleteWalk up and check the tag on the inside of his shirt. Then say..."Just making sure that you were made in heaven."
ReplyDeleteor
"I'm here, what are your two other wishes?"
or
Walk up and lick your finger and then wipe it on his shirt and say "Wanna get out of these wet clothes?"
or say
"Did you clean your clothes with Windex cause I can totally see myslef in your pants!"
Those pick up lines were so funny! I don't really have any good ones. The only one stuck in my head is "you must be tired because you been running through my mind all day." That one is way lame too. hahhahaha! If someone said that to me I would run for the hills! Great Post!!! ;o)
ReplyDeleteOh man... hubs have a way about them, dont they? Reality is so far from those romantic movies - ha!
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to let you know how much I LOVE your blog (I tell all my friends that they have to check it out). My friend and I are starting a blog to highlight awesome bloggers and create a catalogue of great blogs and we would love to feature you! I will send you an email but I wanted to give you a heads up! Let me know if you have any questions!
Let's go get a pizza and f***. Actually got used on someone I knew.
ReplyDeleteOMG...you are such a lucky lucky woman with lines like those. Wanna know what I say to get my hubs all hot and bothered? "baby I shaved my legs today, come do me" Works every time
ReplyDeletei think the best one ever (and i can't take credit because I heard it on Dane Cook's cd) is when he talks about trying to talk dirty, and what he ends up doing is whispering "taste the rainbow..." in the chick's ear.
ReplyDeleteAre those space pants you're wearing because your ass is out of this world!
ReplyDeleteThere is an award waiting for you over at my bliggidy blog. Come on over and get it!
ReplyDeleteXO
Leigh
lol He is such a trip!
ReplyDeleteYour husband is freakin' hilarious! And you said a while back he's a right winger? He's perfect!! :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard some of those lines before, those are awesome.
hmmm - my husband asks WANNA DO IT? i say NO and then we go on about our business
ReplyDeleteseriously this is hilarious!!! i love love love that he does this to you...you my dear are the apple of his eye...or since what we're talking about this fits: the cherry of his eye...haha...
ReplyDeletelove you woman!!!!!! okay two more !!
OMG that's hilarious! I have nothing to add...but those are so funny
ReplyDeletehilarious reading thru these!
ReplyDeleteA country singer down here did one on "Put your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed."
ReplyDelete*swoooon*
ReplyDeletelol.
Lol some of those are just so funny! I'm afraid I'm rubbish at remembering chat up lines.
ReplyDeleteSe x
I totally just used this one on Dearest the other day...
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, but I was just blinded by your good looks & charm. I'm going to need your name & number for insurance purposes.
Best of luck with it! ;)
you must be sooo tired
ReplyDeletewhy?
b/c you've been running through my mind all day! :)
The goosed part crakced me up!
ReplyDeleteLil Rico Sauve on your hands! :)
oh my goodness...again flashing you my wallet!!! BE MY FRIEND!!! hahaha!
ReplyDeletelove you...
love your vegas stories...
love you for being there for me always...
thank you dear...
and seriously looking into that "weekend" now!!!
i/we need it!