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I would appreciate it if you would stop plotting against me and start working WITH me! I don't think if was really necessary for the 3 of you to get sick at the same time...it was kind of overkill really. But if you insist on being sick then at least have a little courtesy. If you guys sneeze in my face, cough on my food, or wipe your snot on my shirt one more time I'm gonna drop kick you like a football, got it? And Mason, don't think that because you get to stay home from school that I'm gonna baby you and snuggle with you on the couch, because
And I am so not down with you guys waking up at 15 minute intervals ALL NIGHT LONG. Seriously, so not cool. You know how to pour milk, is it really necessary to wake me up to do it? And Mason, you're 5 years old...you should be able to feed your sister a bottle by now. Honestly, I didn't raise a bunch of bums. So if you don't want Mommy to
Since I have your attention, lets talk about the legos. It was a tad bit alarming when I was changing Presley's diaper and saw a yellow lego head smiling back up at me through the doo doo butter. So if you could stop leaving pieces ALL over the flippin house for your sister to eat and smuggle into her diaper I would really appreciate it! And Presley, I FEED you for a reason child! Lay off the legos!
And Boogie, don't think that you got off the hook mister. I just want you to know that I'm boycotting Thomas the Engine. D-O-N-E. DONE!! If I have to be subjected to one more Thomas dvd I think I'm going to lose it. Screw Sir Topham Hat. Forget Percy and Gordon. I'M DONE! Can't you watch something different...like Real Housewives of Atlanta or Talk Soup?? Something wholesome that we can all watch together? Just think about it.
One last thing before I go...it's been a looooong time since I've been able to poop in peace. Does there really need to be a pow wow in the loo every time Mommy has to do some dirty work? All I need is 5 minutes. I'd even settle for 3.
Love,
Mom
peee ess--- life's been a little crazy, sick kids and no sleep...but i'm trying to keep up on your blogs! so if i haven't stopped by in a few days don't worry, i will! thanks to all those who left awards and kind thoughts...i'm gonna go grab a power nap before the little mongrels wake up.
Yowza....total bummer that everyone's sick at the same time. Here's hoping that you stay well (and have a moment of piece in the ladies' room!).
ReplyDeletehey Cline...i love you for being so freakin' funny and making me laugh to tears through my hangover! xxx
ReplyDeleteohhhhhhhhhh sounds like your having a blast over at the Cline house!!
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh every day!! I love it!
ReplyDeletescrew the blogs, take a nap! poor mommy Alicia!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it just so much fun when they are home from school sick...makes you want to cry that's how much fun it is!!
ReplyDeleteLMAO - Lego's in diapers huh? That's a classic! Sorry you're home with 3 sick kiddos! Ouch, that even hurts me!
ReplyDeleteEffin kids, no respect I tell ya, none. I can't believe they conspired against you. Pres looks so cute and sweet and innocent. Must be just for show huh?
ReplyDeleteSorry about your bad mommy days. Sick kiddos suck the life blood outta you for sure! :P
Can't you watch something different...like Real Housewives of Atlanta or Talk Soup??
ReplyDeleteMy kids watch them.....of course they don't wear diapers and eat legos..luckily they do get older.
xx
Did she really poop out a lego. LOl sorry that's kinda funny. Seems everyones kids are pooping out something. Another bloggy friends daughter pooped out a black marble and my kitty, although not a baby, but acts like one, pooped out yarn. Well she tried to poop it out, I had to pull the yarn out of her butt with a poop hanging from the end. Nasty.
ReplyDeleteThe things us Mothers have to deal with. lol
I can't remember the last time I went to the bathroom by myself...hmmm....lol.
ReplyDeleteI'll come over and watch The Soup and Real Housewives...after the kids are better...of course!
ReplyDeleteI don't remember sick kids being nearly so funny in real life. I couldn't stop laughing at the lego head incident. that is something I fully expected to find any day now. It gets tireseome yelling, and by yelling I mean speaking in a soothing calming voice, at the kids to pick up the dang legos.
ReplyDeleteThat was such an awesome post. I totaly know how you feel. Reading this reminds me of my kids. And the legos I feel ya there. Well thanks for the laugh this morning. Hope everyone gets better soon.
ReplyDeleteSheri
http://sherisstory.blogspot.com
oh yeah those legos end up everywhere- esp. the teeny ones! hang in there!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post, straight up from the heart Mother talk right there. You brought up something valid in there too that may need to be researched more, Why the heck don't they wake up the dad. Why always Mom? Logan wakes me every morning to announce he either A has to pee, or B has peed. Great go tell your Dad.
ReplyDeleteHope the kiddos get better soon, and you stay healthy.
You never cease to amaze me. I want to me your adopted daughter mmmkay? I may be like 5'8" and rock my 140 lbs with the ease of a gazzel, but I still need to be babied. Can I, pretty please?
ReplyDeleteI hope everyone in your famil gets well soon!
ReplyDeletethank for my daily dose of laughter! You are hillarious. Good thing to know your daughter's digestive track is working properly, right? Too funny!
ReplyDeletealicia...oh alicia. you are the best, just fyi.
ReplyDeletethese letters to your kids (aka "children of the corn") are so endearing. makes me want kids so bad...or not. haha.
hope you get your rest and those 3 minutes of toilet time. OH OH and "doo doo butter"....totally my new phrase, just sayin...
ttyl skater.
Maybe if they are all sick at once, it will pass by faster instead of being drawn out for months - that would be my only solace.
ReplyDeleteHope everyone feels better and you get some much needed rest (trick-switch sides of the bed with hubby, so when they come in to wake you, they wake him instead)
OMG!!! She ate a lego?!?! So freaking funny! ahem...I mean, no....not funny. Not funny at all. =)
ReplyDeleteI am sooooo sorry you are in the midst of all these selfish lazy children! What is up with the world these days? I'm still wondering why Taylor isn't changing each and every one of Chloe's diapers. I mean, he's 4. It's time.
It's sounding more and more like we need Vegas huh?
ugh, sorry everyone is sick.... and eating legos does not sound like fun! hoping you get some potty time all to yourself this weekend!
ReplyDeletewhy is it so fun to laugh at other peoples misery? You make it so easy! I feel for you siter especially on pottying alone...OMG
ReplyDeletelol poor little mama. where the H is Jordan in all of this? tell him his 2nd wife is NOT impressed ;)
ReplyDeleteJust called over from SITS to say a big Hi to everyone, and I couldn't stop laughing at this post! The piece about the Lego reminded me of my brother. He once pushed a piece up his nose and didn't tell anyone, but at breakfast the next morning, he sneezed...and out popped this piece of Lego right into the middle of his cereal!
ReplyDeleteYes, of course we all want our Mums!
Oh no!!! All of them?? Sick at once?? Dear god... if I had the funds, I would send a nanny to your house to help out.
ReplyDeleteAnd Presley pooping a lego? That actually made me laugh out loud...
I don't why kids have to be so dang demanding all the time. Sheesh. Don't they know we have lives too?!
ReplyDeleteI hope they get better soon! Or Daddy takes over the snot patrol.
Oh no! The lego in the poop?? Scary and HILARIOUS!
ReplyDeleteOhhh Dear Lord! Priorities people!!! so true! I hope they will get better very soon... you know for all sake!
ReplyDeleteAwww, sorry about that the little ones are sick! :o( Love Real Housewives of Atlanta!!! I was laughing when I read that! Hope that you are all better soon! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThe worst part of that whole story was that you don't get to poo in peace. Maybe just set the kids up on the couch with Uncle Joel McHale and see if that doesn't give you your "me time".
ReplyDeleteI bet you can't wait to escape and go to Vegas!
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Percy is my favorite :) Maybe it was better to get all three illnesses out of the way at once? What do I know...
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS. Great post! Love it! I can totally relate. A few weeks ago, everyone in my house was sick, including the dog! What an ordeal! Thanks for provide such great comic relief! Legos are right up there on my list with Polly Pockets and Littlest Petshop accessories! Warmest wishes, Jenn @ rookno17.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteLegos in the doo doo butter? That's classic wrong.
ReplyDeleteI'll snuggle with you on the couch and watch the Real Housewives! And yum, benadryl!
ReplyDeleteBut more importantly I wish I was there to watch the kids so you could sleep for a lil!!
OHHHH LOVER! I hope things are getting better!!! What.a.week.
Love you lady!!
No really, Real Housewives, that's where you learn real life lessons....well will these kids catch on?
ReplyDeleteYou know whats even better than the kids coming in the bathroom when youre poopin? When they come in and then tell you that you stink...no kidding
ReplyDelete:-)
ReplyDeleteHopefully they will all be well by tomorrow morning.
Hopefully you and yours will have a beautiful weekend.
My son, Adam, has a cold right now. I am taking it serious after a friend's child died of the flu. He has gotten to skip swim practice this week until he feels 100% Usually I would ship him off with a cough and mild sore throat...
ReplyDeleteNot this year!!!
Pooping in peace? What is that exactly? And boy do I feel for you. I thought one sick bambino was bad.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad tale. :(
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, in about 10 years (unless you pop out another child) you will be able to go the bathroom SOLO. I knew that'd cheer you up.
LOL Alicia - you really crack me up! I wish I could go pee alone too and my daughter is 16 - HA! Between her and my husband - I never have any peace and quiet in the bathroom! HA! I can't post from work again for some reason, so I am having to post from home again tonight. UGH! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteChildren of the Corn- LOL! You cracked me up in this post and I hear ya with the whole bathroom gig. Alone time is few and far between! Hope everyone is feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteIt just keeps getting better and better!!!! You are friggin funny girl. Pop over to my blog for a Lovely Blog award! Have Fun!!!
ReplyDeleteMake Nyquil Popsicles and watch them drift off to sleep.
ReplyDeleteLOL.
XO
Leigh
Why is it they all decide to get sick at once, and usually the hubs is included!
ReplyDeleteYou have to check out my Wednesday writers post, I think I have a snack for your puppers! hahahaha
Ahahahahaaa!!! Lego head in poopy diapers! Can't. Breathe. Crying. Now.
ReplyDeleteOh Boy...3 sick kids and a lego head in the diaper??? Crazy! It sounds like you need a night out :)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the sorry state of things; darn kids getting sick and all..
ReplyDeleteIt's been 10 years since I watched a Thomas Video, but they did rock!! Esp the Troublesome Trucks
Ugh, the lego in the diaper, so gross and funny at the same time! We haven't had anything like that yet here, but I'm sure our day will come. I look forward to the day of using the bathroom without an audience. 3 kids sick at once? I commend you, that's rough. Hope they are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha... I know the feeling so very well. Thanks for describing the joys of motherhood in such a delightful way.
ReplyDeleteI do remember falling a sleep in a chair while my little princes (13 months) was in her playpen. Woke up a few minutes later by the overwhelming stench of poo. She had taken off her clothes and diaper (which was full of poo) and had happily used that brown gooy mess to smear all over herself and the playpen. Yikes! I'm terrified of falling asleep....
That lego in the doo doo butter was hilarious!!!!!! I don't think I have ever heard it referred to as butter. Gross, but accurate. My son ate a Disney advertisement once and I kept waiting for it to come out the other end and it never did. I think it is because kids absorb anything Disney.
ReplyDelete