The Toilet Paper Throwdown...

2 DAYS!

For 2 days I've had to wipe my 'personals' with NAPKINS! And it's not because I'm out of toilet paper. I have PLENTY of toilet paper. It's because my husband is stubborn. Here's the thing...if you FINISH the roll, then you REPLACE the roll. Right? Right!!!

WRONG, as far as Jordan is concerned at least. Do you know what he did??? He left the cardboard roll for me. umexcuseme?! It's like a slap in the face! I have IBS and food allergies folks. When it comes to bathroom time a cardboard roll isn't going to stand a chance against my artillery! I need something with durability! Like my heavy duty double quilted bath tissue. So I'm staring at the empty roll and ask my husband sweetly, "Babe....center of my universe....sunshine in my life...would you please go grab me some toilet paper? Thank you love, I do so appreciate it." **bats eyelashes**

You know what this fool did? He handed me a wash cloth. A-hem. I birthed your children with this....and you hand me a WASH CLOTH.....Fine. I'll use your stupid wash cloth....but this means WAR! I refused to put a new roll on. He finished the last one and he WOULD replace it with a new one! And so it began....

And for the last 2 days I've been either sneaking off to use the kids bathroom, using napkins from the kitchen (holy chaffing batman, pass the Boudreaux's butt paste!), or smuggling toilet paper in my bra. I mean a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!!

I'm making a statement here folks. I'm proving a point!!

And guess what...I WON! That's right! Victory is mine! You know how you spell victory? A-L-I-C-I-A! Because last night, I came home and found this waiting for me....

{Now this is love....18 rolls of love}

{Soooo much softer than napkins...and towels...and socks...ha!}

And now if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with my toilet, Good Housekeeping magazine, and 18 rolls of deliciously soft toilet paper.

Soooo?? What do you think???

I chopped off the mane!!!


{She got a little crazy with the shears!! Holy shortness batman!!}

{From the front.....}

{From the back...}

{Ta-da!!! This girl gives it 2 thumbs up!!}

Thanks for all the hair advice folks!! I feel like a new woman....and for some reason, Jordan's totally flirting with me and calling me Sofia. Weird.

Talking dirty to carbs...

Dear Manna from heaven,

Warm, delicious, flaky, doughy goodness that you are...

I miss you baby. My darling bread, it's been far too long. I've tried to stop thinking about you....really I have. But I can't get you out of my mind! Rye, Wheat, Sourdough, Ciabatta, Flat bread....I'm talking dirty now!! What I wouldn't give for a french baguette and a tub of butter. I'd slather you up like its nobody's business. Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln I would mess. you. up....that's the truth.

{Mmmmm....come to mama...}

And while we're at it, let's heat things up and bring your friend Cheese along. It's been a while since dairy and I have been together, but I've been known to throw back a couple of grilled cheese in my day....now we're really talking. Don't be scared. I'll take reeeeeal good care of you. Even the crust...I love it all. Nothing says 'I love you' like melted cheese on a slice of heavenly carb goodness...and baby, I Loooooove you. With a capital L.

{Nom nom nom...}

Don't look at me like that....I've tried to walk away from you! But you're there every time I turn around....tempting me. Calling me from the pantry. Taunting me with that delicious aroma!! I've tried to forget about you, distracting myself with steamy vegetable affairs and sweet fruit lovin'. It's just not the same...I just want you to know how much I miss you. Those rice and potatoes mean nothing to me! Just remember that. I'll never find another love like you....

With all my love...

My stomach

*bread pic borrowed from living in peru & grilled cheese from sodahead

And then there were two....

SUCK IT FAVRE!!!! BOOYA!!!

{Future Colts fans of America Fan Club}

I can't tell you how excited I am to see my Colts face the Saints in the SUPERBOWL!! I love you Summer B, I hope we're still friends after the Saints go DOWN...I can't wait to paint my stomach blue and practice my end zone dance! GLORIOUS!!

Hahaa!!!! Ok. Now that I've got that out of the way I feel MUCH better.

This weekend was non-stop. Friday night we partied it up at the VFW awards banquet downtown where my pops was the proud recipient of the HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER OF THE YEAR award for the state of California! Whoop whoop!! It was awesome being able to celebrate this honor with him. He served our country in the Air Force for many MANY years and now serves as a JROTC instructor in a rough part of the state. Changing hooligans one student at a time!! We love you pops!

And since Grandpa and Nana were here, the kids were more than happy to parade them all over town. First stop: Train museum. Woot Woot!!


The kids, and Jordan, had a BLAST. But if I had to hear one more 'caboose' joke, or one more 'all aboard' crack I was going to LOSE IT! Although....Jordan did look pretty good in that conductor hat. Choo choo....

But crap, its Monday again and there's only one thing on my mind...a new hair style!! YES! And I desperately need your help! No joke folks...after last weeks hot mess of a medusa mane I'm at a loss of what to do with my hair. Long or short? Curly or straight?? HELP!

Short???

Or long???

Sorry, the pics are crappy, but you get the idea. If I went shorter I would go a tad bit shorter than the first pics. HELP!!! I need your honest opinions!!!

What do YOU think I should do???

Is it Friday yet??

**Breathe in.....Breathe out**

My dog took a massive steaming dump on the carpet.


Boogie spilled his juice ALL OVER the couch.


Jersey Shore's season finale is tonight....**SOB**tear**WAHHHHHH!!!!


The friggin rain knocked over our fence.

{Say hi to the neighbors!!}


And it's only 10 in the morning....


On the bright side, UPS is bringing me a big package today! That's what she said...

I can't wait to get these puppies in my hands! Did I mention that Jordan ordered them for me?? If I didn't know any better I would think he was trying to raid my pantaloons...you naughty little monkey. Have I told you how cute my husband is?? See for yourself....

{Say it with me...1..2..3..awwwwww}

I'm gonna go knock back some midol with an ice cold red bull now and watch some Murder, She Wrote...that always makes my day better...

So how's your Thursday?!

I wanna shave my head...

I hate my hair.

Correction. I HAAAAAAATE my hair.

The other day I was telling Frenchie how it takes me 2 hours to straighten my hair. No joke. I've got a mop fools. Straight horse tail on this head of mine. Thick, unruly, and TONS of it! And to make things worse, my hair is CURLY. Well Frenchie didn't believe me, so I told her I would wear my hair ALL NATURAL for a whole day just to show her my massive fro and how it friggin grows like a chia pet on crack throughout the day...Luckily for you guys I took a ton of completely unflattering pics (kinda hard to see the curls since my hair is so dark, but I tried)...Without further adieu, I present to you...

A day in the life of my fro...

{Fresh out of the shower...tame for the time being}

{Don't be deceived...it only looks nice for a hot minute}

{On the way to school....see...slowly growing}

{Lunchtime! The curls are multiplying like rabbits on my dome! Blah...}

{Running the lion's mane in the afternoon}

And last but not least.....

{BEDTIME! No joke. This is my hair if I were to just leave it all natural.}

And that ladies and gentleman is why my flat iron is my bff and why those 2 painstaking hours of straightening this beast are SO FRIGGIN' WORTH IT! It'd be different if it were the 80s....I'd tease the crap out of these locks and flippin WORK IT!! Buuuuut it's not the 80s and people looked at me weird all day....so tomorrow if you need me I'll be having a hot date with my biosilk and my flat iron.

Tofu smackdown!!

Someone decided THIS was a good idea.

"Mr. Bacon doesn’t like Monsieur Tofu’s uppity “healthier than thou” attitude, and Monsieur Tofu is offended by Mr. Bacon’s sloppy, greasy lifestyle. Unfortunately, their feud is about to boil over into violence thanks to this Bacon vs. Tofu action set. Each figure comes bendable arms and legs." {Product and description from HERE}


I'd like to shake their hand and hug them. It's pointless. It's useless. And I want it!! NAY! I neeeeeeeed it!! This pretty much summarizes Jordan's and my relationship to the T. Well, maybe not the relationship so much, but if we were food....THIS WOULD BE US! Obviously he'd be the towering slab of bacon (thats what she said.HA!) and I'd be the mustachioed square of tofu...complete with monocle! They're GLORIOUS! But then again....my judgment may be impaired...it is 1:30 in the morning.

Have an awesome Monday folks!

ps...remember when you were a kid and you were SO excited for days off from school? uh-huh. remember when you were a parent and you cried because you're kids had the day off from school? yeah........