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I don't even know where to begin!! Jillian's a friggin window licker, I swear that girl has issues! I'm so dang frustrated with the Bachelorette that my remote was a heartbeat away from being thrown though the TV...then I realized I wouldn't be able to watch Harper's Island (LOVE IT!!!!) and decided against it. After watching this last episode I felt that I should help Jillian out a little bit so I went ahead and made a little translation chart for her. Here it is....I call it, How To Understand Cheating Liars With Fugly Gold Chains.
He says: "You know I'm here for you, right?"
He really means: "You know that I'm a musician, right?"
He says: "I'm so excited for you to meet my family."
He really means: "I'm so excited to air my band on TV."
He says: "I wrote this song for you, Jillian"
He really means: "I wrote this song for Laurel."
He says: "Honest to goodness truth."
He really means: "I'm completely lying to your face."
He says: "I really care about you."
He really means: "My album drops July 30th."
I'm hoping this helps clarify things for her. If this doesn't help then I don't know what will. But seriously, it was all too much for me. Jake coming back, Ed coming back (I totally called that!), and Wes staying. It was all just so predictable.
But how funny was it when Jesse hit his brother in the head with the drum stick?! Did you catch that?! And his gypsy mom doing a rain dance in the corner....cukooo!
I would have to say my favorite moment of the night was Kip's heavily intoxicated mom rocking out to the bachelorette blues banging away on those bongos. Priceless! I'm sure that's one of her finer moments in life! Other than that I'm depressed I wasted 2 hours of my life watching her play kissy kissy face when I could have been watching old episodes of Murder, She Wrote. So what were your thoughts on it??
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
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you are friggen hilarious! i have yet to watch my dvr'd jillian...but i am kinda over her anyway...same reasons as you...typical woman she sees what she wants not what she needs to...grrr!!!
ReplyDeleteyou rock my world lady!
HAaha, I was cracking up when you broke it down for us and told us what he really means. Hm it all makes sense now. Lol. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteHopefully she see's your blog! I missed it last night but I agree with you. I think that music guy is only there to get famous!! ugh! come one Jillian.. don't be dumb!
ReplyDeleteI was so angry with her last night I couldn't see straight! First of all, part of me wants to feel bad for the guys that got sent home while Wes stayed. The other part of me says it's their fault for not speaking up when they had the chance...morons.
ReplyDeleteAs for Jillian, she is your stereotypical, bad boy loving, wouldn't know a lying liar if they were lying (badly) to her face (which he is) idiot! She doesn't think him getting so defensive is a red flag?! Honestly, he couldn't have been more not into her (and obviously too I thought) than he was last night and she saw none of it.
I think she wants him to like her so much that she's hearing what she wants to hear. I can't wait to read Chris Harrison's blog this morning and see what he has to say about everything that happened last night.
I never thought Michael was right for her but his little sweet speech made me tear up a little...poor baby!
I quit watching after the debacle last season and I am so glad to know I am not missing much. Okay, I admit, I watched the first one but after that nada. So is the pilot still on there? Just curious, know someone who knows him.
ReplyDeleteI know, right?????? duh! not just one guy told her but this is now another time she's hearing it. when she was at his house I wanted her to come right out and ask his family who Laurel is and then watch their reaction.....
ReplyDeleteSorry - I can't do most reality tv. Everyone who signs up for these shows are so freaking stupid!!! Stupid hurts to watch.
ReplyDeleteYou just made me very happy I don't watch any of that! LOL!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me LOL! I think you are in my brain! Jillian is a complete moron and I can only hope that the Producers are the ones forcing her to keep Wes, no one can be that stupid right?! I really hope that Wes has portrayed himself so badly that no one will buy his stupid CD. Guess we can chalk this season up as another FAIL.
ReplyDeleteyeah i totally agree..i was so mad that she kept WES! i mean how blind can you be!! I am so glad that ed is back :) I think that she should end up with him!
ReplyDeleteI guess my only thought is, I must really be missin something by not watching the Bachelorette!
ReplyDeleteFunny! I think I'm one of the few that don't watch the Bachlorette but you made me laugh even without knowing the players..
ReplyDeleteThey really should have a rule book somewhere that states you can't come back once you're gone. It just getting out of hand.
ReplyDeleteIf I could stop watching I would. But, I'll admit it, I'm addicted and can't wait to watch the train wreck next week!!!
Thanks for being a great blogging buddy, stop by and pickup The Humane Award :)
ReplyDeleteWhen she does that CRAZY stuff like keeping the fugly gold chain guy, you have to wonder if it's the producers making her?? I don't know. It could be just her, she seems a little stupid. : )
ReplyDeleteMacey
Have a funny feeling she still won't get it seeing how she's completely committed to being an idiot. But, it sure is fun to watch her get played by the most awesome acoustic guitarist this side of the Mississippi. Maybe he is telling her the truth. Those other guys are probably just jealous. Apparently, he has a history with that sorta thing:)
ReplyDeleteLOVED your translation chart! :)
ReplyDeleteDidn't know what you were talking about at first. I've never seen the show and had to read comments to figure this out. Thanks for sharing all I need to know. You are very entertaining! I think I'll stick with the History Channel and return here when I need a dose of reality TV.
ReplyDelete:-)
Dude - came over from Mama Kats and am now totally following your blog. That was awesome!
ReplyDeleteI never really liked Jillian - and she just solidifies it every time I happen to catch an episode!
Popped in from SITS! The worst part is this guy is from my hometown!
ReplyDeleteAnd this is exactly why I dont watch this show LOL!
ReplyDeletethanks for breaking things down, fugly chain style! i do not watch the bachelor or bachelorette, but i might have to if there is going to be rain dancing. that is quality TV! LOL
ReplyDeleteOr how about Kyptyn's mom staring out the window at the hot tub scene. She alone would have made me say bye bye to ol'Kyptyn.
ReplyDeletewell you know how I feel by our emails back and forth this morning! Jake is the perfect package. Wes is a lying sack of doo and Ed is boring. Reid is okay as is Jesse. I am not surprised she let Jesse go and I think Reid is up next. I see a Wes and Ed finale and the dumb cow picking Wes. Jake for the next bachelor!
ReplyDeletewww.thelilacgrove.blogspot.com
haha...so true...my favorite was when wes said: I'm being as honest as I can....like huh? seriously.....I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday...
ReplyDeleteand poor Jake....crying....I so hope he's the next bachelor....
The sound of his voice makes me cringe. What is she thinking?!?! For the reals.
ReplyDeletefirst off, I LOVE Harper's Island too!! So good. Secondly, she is a moron. Tanner told her someone had a girlfriend, and then Jake and that's not enough for her? Wait until she sees the footage of Wes saying "I'm here for the music, not the girl". What a nutjob (what's scarier is he was one of my Top 5 at the start :(
ReplyDeleteEd looked alot better than I remember too!
I didn't like the twin switch-a-roo that Jesse pulled. It was Jesse right? The 25 year old breakdancer? That would have ticked me off. As of now, I like Reid and Ed.
I love your translation chart and based on the things I've heard, it's highly accurate. Too bad it's probably too late. Jillian probably chose Wes and now she's living a miserable life because he doesn't give a crap about her anymore.
ReplyDeleteThe sad, sad truth.
...if that's what even happened.
This was the first episode I watched this season so I am so caught up...
ReplyDelete1) Wes, could he be more mono-toned not interested in her. I mean he sat 6 ft away from her whenever they would talk, and he kept sounding like he was reading a script....BOO! And his dumb dumb family saying, "you always have guys jealous of you!" and I bet all the girls are jealous of his sisters....they are just so awesome!!!! Okay...my rage is too high
2) Couldn't they have made Jake tell Jillian the bad news while he took his shirt off....holy cow if I wasn't a married woman!!
3) I think I would go for Reid, he has the most sane family and is a good looker...
p.s. Kip looks like a bad kisser, did everyone else see him lick her face?? AWKWARD
I'm wicked behind in my blogging (and my Bachelorette) and I have to say, I'm with you 100%. I was furious with Jillian. And even though I know Michael isn't really for her, she essentially exchanged Michael for Wes... which was just wrong. Ed, however, is oh so right...
ReplyDelete