Daddy can suck a mean foot!!

Ahhh, the bachelorette tell all...what an awesome birthday gift that was! The return of the cheese arse, the almighty man code, and the behind-the-scene gas passing...what an education experience tonight was!

Let me start with the self proclaimed belligerent foaming at the mouth drunk alpha male, David. He creeps me out with those beady little eyes, but that beard was dis.gus.ting. I didn't think he could get any worse, apparently I was wrong!! And man, did that little firecracker have an opinion on EVERYTHING! I wanted him to shut his friggin piehole and let some one else get in a word or two. I couldn't believe that he didn't feel he did anything wrong when he got all handsy with Jillian and lusted over her lady lumps. NO WONDER YOU'RE SINGLE YOU CHESTER THE MOLESTER! You're dirty! He probably stinks too...I bet he perspires Jack Daniels. Blech. I hope I never have to lay my delicate eyes on his freaky face again.

Now Jake...Apparently the guys did not like him, but I'll tell you what....every female in America did (with the exception of me, I'm happily married to my little fox of a man....grrr). They picked that poor guy apart. It's so sad to me that a good man with an honorable set of morals is now the odd one out. He's considered weird for not being a boob grabbin-sailor mouthed-frat guy walking around in a drunken stupor. I'll take weird anyday then! And for the record, I haven't watched a rated R movie in almost 4 years! More power to you Jake! Ok. I'm stepping off my soap box now.

Juan....grow a pair. The end.

Wes?? I didn't see him there...he must have been playing for his fans fan in Chihuahua, Mexico. I hope he crawls under a rock and stays there for years to come. But that video montage?! PRICELESS!!! And to all the lame losers that were coming to Wes's defense in honor of "man code", another red flag as to why you're single.

Tanner P. I don't care what anyone says, I like you. Anyone who gets excited about mango-mango and call pull off saying "Daddy can suck a mean toe!" is grade A as far as I'm concerned!! HILARIOUS!! Probably my favorite line of the night!!!

All in all it wasn't as scandalous as I was hoping for. I didn't really learn anything new, EXCEPT... that these poor guys have gas at all the wrong times! I almost piddled my pants watching all the funny out takes of them crop dusting all over the place! And Jillian REALLY likes peperoni. Did anyone else get uncomfortable watching that? I felt like I should give her a moment alone with her peperoni. Maybe Ed should just cover himself in peperoni and their little "issue" will be solved! I'll shoot him an email and let him know my brilliant idea!

As far as next week is concerned...sigh...Reid comes back. Of course he would. PREDICTABLE! But did you see the cracker jacks ring he was holding?! C'mon man...you're trying to impress the girl!! Shoot a ring pop would have been better than that! But I'm so excited for next week, it's kind of pathetic actually...what did you guys think?