Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'm over it...

Blaaahhh...I'm so over the bachelorette!BUT...since I did waste two months of my Monday nights watching her suck face with a bunch of fraternity boozehags America's most eligible bachelors, I figured the least I could do was wrap this trainwreck up with a nice big bow and send it off.

First she "breaks Kiptyn's heart" by sending him home after sparkin' with the guy for the last few days. I'm pretty sure they exchanged a total of five words and 8 gallons of saliva. Blech. I'm sure he's completley heart broken in San Diego....or he's surrounded by beach babes who are trying to "make him feel better"...ya know what I mean? Plus I'm thinking he may be the next bachelor...

Then, Reid makes his lame attempt at winning her back. Um. You told the girl you like her 'this much' and held out your arms. Screams maturity! If that doesn't say I'm ready for a long term relationship then I don't know what does. And yeah, I felt bad for the guy, but I'm sure he can do better than Jillian. No offense to her, but after the last 2 months I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Last but not least...Ed. I'm pretty sure he just seduced her with his amazing gams in those bitty bitty shorts. And how come I never noticed the guy has a lisp?! What the heck?! I just loved when he said that he loved her with "Every bone in his body"**snicker** Every bone, Ed? Ya sure about that? That's not what she said! HAAAA! I'm funny...

All in all I'm glad its Ed she ended up with. He seems like a stand-up guy and truth be told I think they'd make some cute babies. I can't wait to find out more tomorrow night on the after the rose ceremony, because as much as I protest I'll still totally watch it! But in all honesty, I'd rather be writing about the random things going through my mind right now like.....

1- I wish Jordan was a cowboy. I read this sappy western romance novel (shut up, don't judge me) called Visions of Ransom Lake and now I want to make Jordan wear wranglers and his cowboy boots, start calling me Miss, and maybe chop some wood without a shirt on...Shortmama knows what I'm talking about!! She's all about her cowboy! Wrangler butts drive me nuts!

2- I think Mason has IBS...because that kid made some serious doo doo butter today. I mean, yikes, holy colon cleanse.

3- I need to toughen up some. Last night I made Jordan get out of bed at 1:30 because I was convinced someone was under the bed. No joke. I was terrified. The funny thing is, he did it, without even asking a question. Am I really that weird?

4- Gluten free "bread" tastes like a soggy milk bone. Remind me NEVER to eat it again. I'm pretty sure I spit up in my mouth just a little. I'd kill for a tray of brownies right now. Or a cupcake. Mmmmmm....
Posted at 7/28/2009
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37 comments:

  1. UnknownJuly 28, 2009 at 12:49 AM

    Mmmmm...you said "Cupcake". My ears were ringing or something, because that's the magic word!!! Stop on over...i've tagged you in a fun game :)-

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  2. Fresh Squeezed Orange JuiceJuly 28, 2009 at 12:54 AM

    Gluten free bread is like a gooey brick NAST!

    There's nuthin wrong with a lil cowboy dreaming ;)

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  3. AnonymousJuly 28, 2009 at 3:38 AM

    Eww the bread sounds like a joke. Hopefully you find some you like.

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  4. Christina LeeJuly 28, 2009 at 4:21 AM

    I'm just over Jillian being in love with everyone and then being "so confused" when Reid came back-I know it's possible to feel soemthing for each of them but she needed to toughen up and just say goodbye much much sooner to Reid- she really dragged it out! ughhh! made me crazy. Ed is soooo cute!

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  5. SarahJuly 28, 2009 at 4:40 AM

    Oh how I love your Bachelorette Blogs (BB's). WHAT IS WITH THOSE SHORTS?! The first time he wore them I thought maybe he was kidding or borrowed her shorts but then he had them one AGAIN last night...and the tank top wasn't much better. I must say that Ed was my pick between he and Kiptyn. Reid was hot, yes, but way too hesitant, which I consider to be the normal and level headed reaction to knowing someone for two months and making that decision.
    I want Sean to turn into a vampire or jet pilot. I am seriously considering buying a jet pilot costume, helmet and oxygen hose too, and forcing him to wear the get-up! LOL.

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  6. SarahJuly 28, 2009 at 4:41 AM

    Oh, and I agree with Christina above me. My thing is this: If Redi coming back made her SO confused that she had to "take some time" and talk it out with Chris...is she THAT head over heels for Ed? I'm sorry but when you love someone "madly and totally" you shouldn't need ONE nanosecond to think about anything! Call me crazy...I don't know...just saying.

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  7. S Club MamaJuly 28, 2009 at 5:44 AM

    #3 sounds like me. I'm a scaredy cat. I won't walk through our house without a light on ahead of me (or holding Big A's hand). I also can't sleep with even a sliver of my closet open.

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  8. MaggiJuly 28, 2009 at 5:48 AM

    I must be in the minority here, I'm so not over the show, I thought it was the best season so far, the guys were doucheier, the girl has more tragic self esteem issues than a supermodel and the producers kept letting kicked off people come back for more! What's not to love? I must just be their target audience because the Producers' most.dramatic.ever magic worked on me, I will be glued to my TV tonight!

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  9. confused homemakerJuly 28, 2009 at 6:06 AM

    trader joe's (if there's one by you) has a decent brownie mix that is gluten free. not the same as regular brownies but not bad considering they are gf.

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  10. ShannonJuly 28, 2009 at 6:20 AM

    I think of all the guys Ed was her best option...frankly the other guys can do way better than her and probably would have realized that once they were back in real world where there is more than one vagina running around. I think Ed and his booty shorts have pretty much sealed his fate in the dating world so he better marry Jillian b/c he ain't getting anyone else.

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  11. brookeJuly 28, 2009 at 6:24 AM

    yes ma'am you are funny!!! i heart you!

    yeah if her and ed can pull it off i think they would actually be pretty good together...and um.lady...did you watch dating in the dark?!?! that crap was hilarious!! i was basically dying of laughter by myself...watching their eyes in the dark seeming totally lost...what a ridiculous show that i will probably continue to watch...

    and yes...OH YES...watching your man (well my man but i mean watching the man you are with) chop wood with an axe and no shirt is basically the best show EVA!!!

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  12. AnonymousJuly 28, 2009 at 6:45 AM

    Somebody say cupcake?!?!?!???

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  13. Scrappy GirlJuly 28, 2009 at 6:46 AM

    I was so glad that she chose ED! He has been my fave for so long...well after I got over Jake.

    I love it when Dr. Hubby trades in his stethoscope for his chaps! There is just something about a man on a horse with the hat, boots, chaps...

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  14. SummerJuly 28, 2009 at 8:07 AM

    I posted about Eds short shorts too. What the heck?!?

    And I completely agree, GF bread is nasty. Oh, how I miss bread.

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  15. valentineJuly 28, 2009 at 8:26 AM

    i have these dreams where i think someone or something is in our closet, my very sweet hubs checks for me and lets me know that nothing is in there. aren't we lucky to have men who are patient with our neurosis?

    all i can say is sorry about the bread. i can not even imagine not being able to eat whatever, whenever. so that must totally suck.

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  16. UnknownJuly 28, 2009 at 9:01 AM

    HA Ha, YOU ARE FUNNY! (everybone in his body!) LOL oh and I haven't read romance novels in years (well, i'm not counting Twilight Saga) :) but if you need a good one, check out The Flame and the Flower! Best romance novel I have EVER read! :)

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  17. shortmamaJuly 28, 2009 at 9:01 AM

    Oh yeah I understand that cowboy fantasy!! Mmmmm baby! Oh and the person under the bed thing? One time I got up to go to the bathroom at night and my sweet cowboy hid under the bed and grabbed my ankle when I went to get back in bed. Scared the shizzle right out of me!

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  18. ErinJuly 28, 2009 at 9:03 AM

    Soggy Milkbone? how is it that you know what soggy milkbone tastes like? OH WAIT, does it taste like that rice cereal we insist on feeding our infants? Blech!
    And so yeah I forced the hubs to watch last night, and he did go to the other room about 40 minutes in...but those shorts? WTH? Who wears those? And seriously? If she supposed to be that trampy?

    Maybe I should just write my own post LOL

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  19. ChristyJuly 28, 2009 at 9:17 AM

    Every bone in his body, huh? Hilarious!!

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  20. Melissa B.July 28, 2009 at 9:18 AM

    Don'tcha just HATE it when you see the train wreck coming, but the victims have absolutely NO CLUE?

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  21. AnonymousJuly 28, 2009 at 9:26 AM

    "I wish Jordan was a cowboy. I read this sappy western romance novel (shut up, don't judge me) called Visions of Ransom Lake and now I want to make Jordan wear wranglers and his cowboy boots, start calling me Miss, and maybe chop some wood without a shirt on"

    lmao!! Okay, I don't watch this show.. but I can relate. I've felt that way about certain guys.

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  22. CaleenJuly 28, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    HaHa. I picturing Jordan as a cowboy... lol.
    Ummm.. Mason. Very Possible, just like his mommy.
    someone hiding under the bed...it was me. ;)
    :) i love you.

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  23. BrookeJuly 28, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    um ps that comment above is from me Brooke not my mom. lol. that would be creepy!!! hahaha.

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  24. Ally WasmundJuly 28, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    yummmm...brownies. Now I really want some too! Please send some my way :)

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  25. Hit 40July 28, 2009 at 10:26 AM

    Did you have a whole foods nearby? They might have better bread.

    A girl that commented right after you also posted about the bachelor show!!! LOL She has about 4 followers right now. I am sure that she would enjoy more. Check her out. I love hooking up bloggers

    http://lifeonlittlesugar.blogspot.com/

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  26. JordanJuly 28, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    You say when! Ive always believed I was supposed to be a cowboy on the farm.

    And PS...I'm not gonna lie...we looked really good in the picture in your previous post...just sayin LOVAH!

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  27. ShannonJuly 28, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    Oh I forgot to ask, are you gonna watch that new show I think it's called "More to Love" aka the fat Bachelor?? I can't wait!

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  28. AnnieJuly 28, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    brownies and cupcakes! yummy!!
    sorry to hear the bread sucks! the diet you have to follow is so strict. you are amazing for being able to do it! i will for sure contact you if i need more info on the skinny b plan, that is if i decide to follow it more religiously ;)

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  29. Carma SezJuly 28, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    I totally missed out on the Bachelorette but I enjoyed reading your review. Good to hear it seemed like a good match, for a change!! You did not finish the story, was there anyone under the bed???? ;-)

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  30. Carlito86July 28, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    I love that he did it without even asking! I get terrified of stuff like that - have you ever seen the film Saw? A man was in the little girls wardrobe and her dad wouldn't check so when her dad left the room the man said something like night night little girl and then got her and OMG! I am still freaked by this about 6 years later. If I go to the loo in the night, I have to check my wardrobe (this takes major guts, please appreciate) to see if anyone is in there.

    xx

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  31. BonBon Rose Girls KristinJuly 28, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    She must be into itty bitty shorts. How else could she look at him without laughing? Don't feel bad. I send the hubs on middle of the night prowler searches several times a week!

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  32. MaceyJuly 28, 2009 at 6:51 PM

    What the heck kinda name is Kiptyn anyway??
    I wonder if it will work with them like with the first bachelorette? That'd be cool.
    Wrangler butts? Yep, 8 Seconds. Mmhmm.

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  33. Jeff and ElizaJuly 28, 2009 at 9:39 PM

    I love that you're suddenly over the Bachelorette...now that it's over! You know you would have to keep watching forever if it was still on! But I agree, what's all the fuss about? Jillian sucks - and Ed is perfect for her. Kipton was too cute for her anyway. Wah..wah...wah.

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  34. AtlantaJuly 28, 2009 at 9:55 PM

    I tried to get your brother to wear my apron. It was a no go. I cant imagine why, other than the fact that he feard that I would take incriminating photos. I would never...;)
    And Im glad she ended up with Ed, if only beacuse I couldnt stand the way Kipton looked when he kissed her. *gag*... Oh and Jillian, soooo not cute when she cries. Love ya!

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  35. AiringMyLaundryJuly 28, 2009 at 9:59 PM

    I just can't get over how someone is named Kiptyn.

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  36. ConnieJuly 29, 2009 at 7:19 PM

    Soooo glad that the bachelorette is over....but i'm going to miss Ed.

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  37. Jazz Joyner LivingstonJuly 31, 2009 at 7:17 PM

    So I told Brenton that in this life time we shall be neighbors! Girl I cracked up with that whole Ed bone in his body...cried! Tears!

    Also I read your cowboy book...me gusta! Good pick!

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Thanks for the comments, I love reading (and returning) them! Tell me how you really feel!! bow chika bow wow...

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