I'm Baaaaccckk....

On the road...a must have car photo a la oofa.

Our kids learned all sorts of neat words like 'traffic' and 'road rage' and some other slightly vulgar words I shall not post!! But they may ryhme with Moosh-bag. Thanks Jordan for that! Here is our least favorite person from the trip. Who has an IM N DMND (i'm in demand) license plate?! Honestly. Btw- IM N DMND....you and I. Not friends. In fact, my husband slightly hates you. Yeah, what now?!


My favorite land mark: The giant angry golfer on the 405, he looks like he's gonna beat the crap outta somebody....it's good to be home!


Our favorite outing was taking the chillins to the LBC Aquarium with Nana & Papa. They had a blast seeing this....


and this...

and touching these...


and riding this...wait a minute, how did this picture get in here?! Look at those little girls in the back like 'Tell the old hag to stop hogging the shark!!' HAA sucks for you!

Ohhh and here's our favorite person of the trip. DO YOU SEE THE WOLF SHIRT?! This guy is FIERCE!!! Seriously...the ladies were swooning all around him. I bet he even wears Axe deoderant....Grrrrr


Awww...my favorite Boogie picture. How awesome is that Avengers shirt?! So jealous it's not in my size...


Little Miss Presley couldn't decide what to order. She's only 8 months and she's already indecisive!

My favorite place...sigh....Abuelita's house. Good times with the fam!

And finally, the drive home. What's a family vacation with out a flat tire...in the middle of nowhere...yeah. Of course. But on the bright side, my man looks down right SEXY all sweaty and manly....Nom nom nom


Finally, we come home and go straight to this....

MASON'S FIRST SOCCER PRACTICE! HOLLA!! Aaannnnd.... Guess who's team mom?

Ahem.
Moi.

I KNOW!!! THEY'VE LOST THEIR MINDS!!! HAHAAA!! Those kids aren't gonna know what hit them!

Go Lillehammers!

It's great to be back....missed you all dearly!

Lookin' for a good woman!!!

No, not for me! Let me explain...I have an awesome brother. Seriously. This guy is friggin amazing...he's related to me, so obviously it runs in the family...HAA! But here's the thing. The guy can't seem to find a girl we all like the right girl!! Don't get me wrong, he's dated some great girls...but they haven't been the right girl. SO! I've taken it upon myself and the power of the blog to pimp my brother out. I'm sure he'll be so excited when he sees this. But you know what?! I don't care, because I need some nieces and nephews dang it! Plus, that's what sisters are for, right? I feel like this is my very own version of the bachelor... OOOhhhh maybe I should nominate him for that too!!

Here goes. He looks like this....(these were the only photos I had on hand. You'll have to ask him for the naked ones...haaa...I'm funny!)


He has many talents. Like this....(yeah, he didn't know I was filming...oops)



Plus he's hysterically funny. Like pee in your pants funny. Not quite as funny as me though. I would rant and rave about how awesome he is, but that might sound kinda creepy. So instead I'm just gonna give you my word that the dude is legit. He's a good guy. So single ladies (you married gals can look but don't touch!), check him out. If you happen to live in the so-cal area....heck, even if you don't....let me know. I'm off to go nominate him for the bachelor now!

My how we've grown...

It's amazing how a few shorts years can change so much....

Note to self: patience is key

Dear Vacation Alicia,

I figured by now you would be about done with this so-called "vacation". Just remember that you knew going into this it was gonna suck going to be challenging. I know you're upset that Aunt Flo decided to tag along on your trip but here's a tip: as soon as you wake up, pop a few midol and chase it was a red bull and your day will go heaps better! Whatever you do STAY AWAY from the chocolate...it will not end well! Take my word for it!

And while you'll be tempted to drop the kids off at the nearest fire station and run for the border, don't forget to leave the diaper bag with the firemen don't forget that kids will be kids, and after all, it's vacation, they're allowed to act a little crazy. Ok, A LOT crazy.

It may help if you just came to terms now with the fact that your kids WILL NOT take naps while on vacation. The sooner you accept this, the easier your life will be. And if you're thinking that night time will be any better just realize now that the kids will be up ALL night EVERY night. Oh, I may as well tell you now that trying to feed your kids anything healthy will be pointless. Go pick up the happy meal and call it a day.

Well I hope that you're having fun!! Remember to take heed to all of my valuable advice and one last thing...take lots of pictures!! Don't forget, patience is key. And if that fails, pop some more midol and down another red bull. Good luck!

Love,

Alicia

Taking care of business...

While all of you lovely people are reading this I will be on VACATION! Woopity-frickin-doo! There's nothing like a little vacation to visit the family to end a fantastic summer...But don't worry, I'll be thinking of you all the entire time. Longing for my blog **sigh** since I WON'T HAVE A COMPUTER! Vacation my patoot, this is down right torture!! So I've planned ahead and written some posts so you don't forget about me while I'm gone! Enjoy your weekend and I miss you already...I'll be back and better than ever (with some MAJOR catching up to do!)!!

Let's get started!! A fun tag and a few awards on this faboosh Friday! The lovely Aubrey over at Made you blush smacked me with a fun little tag she created herself! Here goes...

-write 5 things that make you feel sexy
-post a pic (if you dare!)
-pass it on to 5 lovely bloggers

**DISCLAIMER** Now I've never considered myself sexy. I'm not the bombshell type. I'm the funny, goofy, not afraid to fart on the first date kinda gal. So this tag was a little tough for me... but let me put on my sexy face and get this party started!

1- The way my hubby looks at me...with those 'ooohhh mamasita' eyes...you know the look I'm talking about...

2- Driving my husband's ginormous truck...

3- Getting a really good work out...

4- Fitting into my pre-children clothes...Mama's still got it! Booya!

5- Wearing yoga pants...

See...totally sexy! At least my man thinks so and that's what counts! And now I pass this onto 5 of the sexiest people I know....

Always a bridesmaid...Finally a bride!
Annie over at Chapters of our life
Step-fabulous
Bobbi over in La la land
S Club Mama over at S Club 4

The stunning Christina at Fabulous Finds Gal bestowed this sweet little award upon me! Thanks doll!! Go on over and check her out...she is quite the fashion guru! Now here are the rules...

- write 10 things we don't know about you
- pass the award on to 10 lovely bloggers

Man, I'm not good at keeping secrets...I feel like you all already know everything! But here goes!

1- I love watching UFC fights with my hubby and the crew

2- I hate wearing socks with tennis shoes...Jordan complains but if he would just learn to keep my feet out of his mouth then we wouldn't have a problem.

3- I hate Julia Roberts because my husband thinks she's hot....tramp

4- I hate the snow...

5- I went to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising...

6- The word 'PORK' makes me want to vomit...blech

7- I want to have a pet pig....it's a work in progress...I'm slowly convincing Jordan it's a good idea!

8- I have a dream to one day be a contestant on the Wheel....of....FORTUNE!! I've applied twice. Just waiting for Pat to call and give me the thumbs up! Anytime you're ready Pat!

9- I'm addicted to Gossip Girl...and so is Jordan...don't lie! you are too honey!

10- I'm extremely ticklish. It's a curse. I hate it!!

Now that you know me a little better don't you love me even more? Because you really should.

And finally, thanks to my lovely lady friend Hit 40 at Sane without drugs for this very humbling award. I appreciate it so much!!! You are the best! And I can't wait to pass it on to women who inspire me...

And I choose two amazing ladies whose blogs always give me a huge smile and many laughs....

Jenny Mac over at Lets have a cocktail...
and Kelly at the Housewife Savant

Thanks for all the love peeps! Pass it forward and enjoy!! See you in a few!

Milestones suck...

It seems as if I'm always waiting for my kids to learn something new. To hit the next age benchmark per se. I remember reading What To Expect The First Year and having anxiety attacks because Mason couldn't clap at 6 months. What was wrong with him? Did he have medical issues that I didn't know about? Was I a failure as a mother?! And wasn't he supposed to be crawling by now?!! I called the doctor on the verge of hysteria, all snot faced and sobbing into the phone "MY SON DOESN'T CLAP! bwwwaahhhh!". Motherhood makes you do some stupid crazy things.

I over-analyzed EVERYTHING the first time around. The second time around I was a little less neurotic. Ok , who am I kidding, no I wasn't. At all. And Jordan if you say anything I will cut you!! Be afraid fool! The crazy runs deep in my blood I can't get rid of it. And the third time around....well, let's just say I'm not encouraging milestones at all.

I encouraged Mason to walk at such a young age and the kid went from a crawl to a RUN! And he's never stopped. He just slows down slightly when mommy remembers to crush the ritalin over his frosted frakes for breakfast. And Boogie has had such a struggle learning to talk and now that he's started, the kid never shuts his flippin pie hole and drives me straight crazy. Thank goodness they are so cute, and quiet, when they sleep.

And last but not least, Presley. You see, this is my baby and I'm really not excited for her grow up. She's clapping now. She waves hi and bye. Sigh....And now she's crawling. Is it bad that I pull her legs out from under her when she crawls?? I really don't encourage it. She's growing up way too fast. Maybe I should strap a weight to her back, that should slow her down! And I refuse to let her hold her own bottle. She NEEDS me dang it!

Milestones. Shmilestones. Pooh on them. Can't I just keep her my baby just a little bit longer? On the bright side...I can't wait to hear her say Mommy. I can't wait to take her to get mani pedis with me. I can't wait for her to wipe her own butt. Ok, so maybe there are a few milestones I can live with...Ha...come to think of it, it's gonna be Jordan that has issues with this little beauty growing up. I mean, come on, just look at this face...

Free dog! Any takers?

I'm done. I've thrown in the towel. And earlier today I made the phone calls...that's right, plural. The phone calls that make all my worries disappear...now you're wondering who I called, aren't you? Let me tell you a little bit about my day first.

There I was, lovingly preparing Little Miss Presley a wholesome breakfast when she starts to whimper. So I rush over, whisk her up from her exersaucer, and plop her on my hip. That's when I feel "IT". No. No no no no no. Oh friggin monkey butt, it is. Yup, definitely poop. The little princess had gone and caused a crime scene on her clothes, the exercauser, herself, and ME. Somehow it had worked its way down her leg and she was doing a friggin river dance to make things worse! 45 minutes, 2 baths, 2 new outfits, and 1 destroyed exersaucer later we were back in business.

So I put her in her highchair and finally start feeding her the now cold breakfast and then it hits me. The dogs!! Where are the dogs? Ok, I see Bruiser, but where on earth is Sampson? Backyard? No. Boys room? No. KITCHEN? LIVING ROOM? OH CRAP!!!

Presley's room. Mmmhhhmm.

Yeah.

Devouring the left overs of the now empty diaper genie. Breathe, Alicia, breathe....

There he was, caught red-handed (or pawed, whatever) looking at me with a chunk of diaper hanging from his mouth. I'm pretty sure I looked like one of those cartoon characters with steam coming out of their ears because let me tell you, I was TICKED!! Fuuuming mad!!

So I clean up yet another disaster and go into the kitchen to wash off, happen to peek at the clock...and WHAT THE FREAK??? It's not even TEN in the flippin MORNING and my house smells like a dang public latrine!! That's when I knew it was going to be a very. very. long day. And that my friends, is when I picked up the phone and called Jordan. I explained to him very calmly that he has a vasectomy scheduled Monday morning because we are never having any more children and that I'm hanging up my bucket and mop and taking a few days off.

Following that call, I called Aleada. Aleada is a gift from above. Aleada is a true bearer of all things happy and lemony fresh scented. Aleada is my awesome housekeeper that I treat myself to now and again. Aleada is coming first thing Wednesday morning. Ahhhhh. Aleada is my favorite.