Posts
Ahem.
I am officially a soccer mom. Mmmhhmm.
My day has arrived.
Bring on the refs, the team moms, and the Saturday morning extravaganzas. I'm ready, and let me tell you, I was born ready. Ever since I had Mason I've longed after this day. I can't wait to stand on the sideline
I've made a checklist of the things I need to get, like a really obnoxious chair to put on the sidelines with Mason's number embroidered on the back. Something that screams 'my kid is better than yours'. But in a subtle tasteful fashion.
Mason has already expressed a great desire to be the goalie. I suggested to him that I could help him practice by kicking balls at his face. You know, so he could learn how to block! He didn't think it was such a great idea. It was worth a shot though.
I wonder what color the uniforms are so I can color coordinate our outfits? Hmmm, that would be good to know. Hopefully it's not something that clashes with red since I'm planning on collecting quite a few red cards this season. Because you see, here's the thing...I'm known to be a little bit of a mama bear. So this is fair warning to all the moms that may cross paths with me on the field: check you piehole when it comes to my kid. I'm not too proud to be kicked off the field for throwing down! But I'm sure in something as civilized as rec soccer all the adults will behave appropriately and not become stage mothers, right?
Practices start in 2 weeks and
Go Team Mommy!!! (Only don't scream too loud lest poor Mason decides Soccer is not his thing!....I already see traces of it coming with the color coordination thing happening!!!)
ReplyDeletePS. My Back to School Carnival starts in 9 days- 31 days of reviews and giveaways....come on over and enter 3 giveaways till then :>
http://energizerbunnysmommyreports.blogspot.com/
Sorry I missed your birthday. Happy Belated Birthday. Hope is was fabulous.
ReplyDeleteGlad your birthday was good. You are going to make a great soccer mom! Love the answering maching quote. Fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI WANT TO ME A SPORTS MOMMY! I've been looking for toddler sports around these parts and I can't seem to find any. I must be barking up the wrong trees because I KNOW they have them!!!
ReplyDeletehappy belated bday! oh and happy soccer days to you.
ReplyDeletexo
i love it! both my ladies want to be 'cheetahleaders' like their mama and you better believe i'll be the one at the fence. "SMILE BIGGER DANG IT...STRAIGHTEN THOSE ARMS!!!" okay no not really but doesn't mean i won't be thinkin it from the stands...hahaha!
ReplyDeletehey hey...being european we are huge soccer fans :) but when our kids go to practice we dont stay there we only go to watch them play games...is it different there"? oh and of course enjoy...soccer is a great game I love it!
ReplyDeleteglad that you had a good birthday & soccer moms are cool now didn't you know? they became cool once we realized we could be one.
ReplyDeleteWooo Hooo! Enjoy your soccer mom days! I am a karate mom, myself...
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the field Soccer Mom! My hubby cannot wait until Toot is old enough to play hockey. *sigh* There go my ballerina dreams...LOL ;)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on being a Soccer mom!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't even have words...this is hilarious.
ReplyDeletehells yeah! I can't wait for you to destroy all those other Moms out there who THINK they've got it goin on. You'll be the best soccer mom eva!
ReplyDeleteOkay I want to come to the games too...not to watch Mason but to watch YOU watch Mason. Just don't end up in the news for throwing fists with a mom from the other team!
ReplyDeletei've been a soccer mom for a while now (i know iknow, i'm even cooler now, right?), but this is going to be a big year for me. i'll be the basketball coach's wife!!! do you think i'll get a reserved space in the bleachers? plus, and this is where i start losing my shiz...my girls are going to dancing school!!! i.cannot.wait. move over toddlers and tiaras! here we come!
ReplyDeleteLMAO! I was team Mom on Tre's soccer team! Go Me! lol And the Coach sucked nuts. But Tre, dear dear Tre, WEll lets just say Im a little reluctant to get him back on the soccer field. Cause well, you expect to be cheering them on, instead of yelling constantly "TRE!!!! RUN!, TRE pay attention, TRE! Go with your TEAM!! TRE!!!" You get the idea. Goalie was his strong point! He loved it. But he was known to used the goal like monkey bars now and again... So YAY for soccer and soccer Moms around the nation. But um, I know that my nephew is a little similar to his older counterpart, and lets just pray you dont lose your voice!! Love ya!! Oh and please PLEASE be like the other psyco parents who put their Chair DIRECTLY on the sidline. like front legs of your chair ON IT. So that way the kids can run into you when they go for the ball.
ReplyDeletelol! You're great! I lived in front of a recreation center that hosted all of the town's teams for anything you can think of...
ReplyDeleteso I have seen my fair share of soccer moms, and I think you got the whole thing down pat. Good luck to your son!
If we are being honest here, I can't wait for my kids to play team sports either. No matter how busy or crazy they make life.
ReplyDeleteglad you had a great birthday sweet cheeks ;)
ReplyDeleteyay for being a soccer momma!
some day i'll be a crazy hockey mom, woo hoo!
I always love your posts. About half way through I started to think maybe you were joking, but, no. No, you were not. That's awesome. I hope you have as much fun as you're planning for an more. I CAN'T WAIT for the "So Today I Got Kicked Out" and the "Bludgeon the Ref" posts I see in the near future . . .
ReplyDeletePunky wants to play soccer (at least, I think she does, or maybe it's that MacGyver wants her to, lol, but she's already in Judo and Singing, and Mommy doesn't schedule around the 6 year old - I know - I'm an evil old bat).
In a little over a month, I'm gonna be a soccer mom too. And, like you, I ain't too proud to be carted away to jail for poppin' some broad in the face. :)
ReplyDeleteJust sayin. You may see me on the news!
Hey! Yes she did write one, a few years back when she was on the Simple Life and engaged to that DJ guy! I'm quite sure it's based on her with the way she speaks. If you check it out lemme know if you like it! :-)
ReplyDeletethumb up your butt...hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a great birthday! Good luck with soccer! Loved your idea for goalie practice...don't know why he didn't go for it?!?!
ReplyDeletehaha!!!! I will be sitting next to you while chasing my little robot around! um I bet 20 bucks Levi runs in the middle of the field yelling..."ball, ball, mine, mine"
ReplyDeleteHaHa
LOL! I can totally imagine you with your orange slices in hand!!
ReplyDeletexx
LOL!!! what's wrong with being a soccer Mom? absolutely nothing!! LMAO.. wink wink XOXO I'm a new readr, so glad to be hear, you crack me up!
ReplyDeletei'm gonna have to use that answering machine insult. its gold, alicia, its gold.
ReplyDeleteOh no, not a soccer mom!
ReplyDeleteYou can also yell at the ref, "Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants."
Oh, wait, wrong line, don't use that on the ref, use that on your hubby.
You are soooo gonna kick butt as a soccer mom. Be as obnoxious as possible!
ReplyDeleteI know it kills, to watch them out there running around, I think my little man isn't so little anymore, especially when he say's mom...don't do that, you're embarassing me! I'm like are you 6 or 16?
ReplyDeleteWarning...watch out for some of the other soccer parents. They can be worse than the refs!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, I entered this realm last Spring, and it was eye-opening! It's the coolest thing to hear another parent tell their kid, watch out, this one can wallop that ball (talking about your kid) BIG GRINS!! Enjoy it, super fun! AND, what is soccer, without the orange slices??? That's the BEST part!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! I'm totally jealous! I looong for the day one of my kids gets interested in SOMETHING. I wanna be the crazy mom on the sidelines cheering her kid on! Woohoo! lol
ReplyDeleteSo fun! :)
ReplyDeleteFound your blog through SITS!!
Congratulations on adding Soccer Mom to your repertoire! I'm an MMA (mixed martial arts) mom myself, and there's nothing like cheering on your kids as he's putting another kid into an arm-bar or triangle head-lock with the goal of getting that kid to tap in submission. And don't worry about those other moms, they won't wanna mess with someone as fabulous as you! :-)
ReplyDeleteP.S. can't wait to see pic of his first practice and game!
we'll be right with you in the fall - I have two heading to soccer. go us!
ReplyDeleteThat's great. Let me know if you need any advice, I played on a traveling soccer team and have 3 fake gold metals as our team was state champions for 3 years when I was in middle school. Traveling and playing was the best thing my parents could ever have let me do. It's the greatest sport, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteLOL! you WERE born for this role. haha I love the idea of coordinating outfits to the team and you should coordinate your snazzy obnoxious lawn chair too. You should definitely embroider "Mason is the greatest" on the back and at the bottom say he is better than all yalls will ever be. Just throw it in their faces. Yup thats right yall he is the latest and greatest thing. Oh and you should get a horn to blow at the rep!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the huge pin that you can wear on your coordinating outfit that has your son's face on it! I mean, I wouldn't want you to look silly ;)
ReplyDeleteOne day I will be a soccer mom! :P
ReplyDeleteso glad you had a great birthday!
ReplyDeleteOk so if you don't already have an suv now is the time to get one - congrats on soccer mom status!
ReplyDelete"Hey ref! You might wanna check your answering machine, because you've been missing calls all day!"
ReplyDeleteLOL!! I have to remember that one.
Crackin me up! I wouldn't hold my breath - I about took some bimbo out at Chosen Child's first t-ball game (yes I said T-Ball - what they hell are they saying "batta batta batta swing at T-Ball For?). Seriously, my fist, her face, jail time - IT ALMOST HAPPENDED!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be a busy woman being a soccor Mom! :) And yes, saw Katie Holmes on SYTYCD. What did you think? I thought she was okay, but I thought it was way too easy of a routine and I didn't like the lip synking (sp) :)
ReplyDeleteThrow some elbows, dude. There's nothing wrong with that. I do like your comment to the ref, too. I may need to hold on to that one for future reference.
ReplyDelete