Did I ever show you guys this?

My husband got this shirt for his birthday from him best friend, Dizzle.

Yeah...

I'm not sure if I'm confused by it, or if I'm in complete awe of it's ghettofabulousness....

I mean just look at that wolf. The bling-bling, the goggles, the grill (that's right, its hard to see, but it's silver)....in your face. This wolf's a tool. I'm pretty sure if he was real (which I'm not saying he isn't) he would be wearing an Ed Hardy shirt... and maybe he would love snowboarding. I'm pretty sure he's the Jon Gosselin of the wolf pack. Tool.

Dizzle, I'd like to say it's the thought that counts, but......I'd be lying....

On a random note, here's my quote of the day...provided by the one and only Hubs....

"Alicia, you can't contain this love. I'm like 24 ounces of love trying to fit into a 12 ounce can. I'm overflowing, you can't bottle this."

(Followed by my blank stare and shake of the head)

Dear Presley...Part 2

Dear Presley Rose,

I'm a little emotional right now, so I'm not quite sure how to put this....so I'll try to find the words as best as I can...

SWEET MOTHER OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN!! WHAT THE HECK DAUGHTER????

I leave for ONE day and you start saying DA-DA??!! One day. ONE DAY! After everything we've been through???

Have you forgotten that I gained WEIGHT for you! ... I gave BIRTH to you! ... I am your MOTHER!! And this is the thanks I get????

I didn't see Daddy sitting on ice packs wearing mesh pantaloons after calving a child!! Noooo siree...pretty sure that was me!

First thst mangy mutt, Duke, steals your first word, which was rightfully my spot, by the way! Yeah, I said it! THEN you start saying 'Hi', despite my efforts to hear your sweet voice say Mama...I just don't get it! What does he have that I don't?? Did he give you candy?... Ice cream?? ...Chocolate???

That must be it...he blinded you with delicious treats...it's the only explanation!! He played dirty and now he will pay the price! That heathen!! He's going down!

Do the last 9 months mean nothing to you?? I thought I knew you better than that, Little Miss. I guess I was wrong! I suppose I'll have to resign to the fact that I'm 4th on your list....hopefully. I knew this day would come....I just didn't think it would be so soon. I suppose I'll have to just accept the fact that you've become a.....*gulp*....Daddy's girl...sigh...

But don't think this is the last I'm gonna say about this!! Oh no no no young lady...I will deal with you, this was just the tip of the iceberg! In the meantime, I've gotta go deal with THIS guy...

{Oh, don't you look at me like that Mister! You know EXACTLY what you did! You criminal! You robber of all motherly happiness! You should be ASHAMED! Hmph!}

{And you! Well don't you think you can just smile at me and get away with all this....I'm upset! You cute little thing...ya hear that? Mommy's upset with your sweet little self...}

{Who am I kidding...how can I be mad at this? I guess I'll just have to change my name to Duke}

Love,
Mommy

pee ess....it was a wonderful weekend. full of uplifting moments and new friends! (love my banana!!) can't wait to tell you all about it...but just thought I'd let you know the kids were still alive.

Presley, you're in command now....

Dear Presley,

I only have a minute to write this before I leave, but I wanted to leave you with some survival tips words of wisdom before I left. Now try not to worry, I'll be back tomorrow night, but it's going to be a looooooong 24 hours fun for Daddy and I'm gonna need you to help him out.

Since Daddy's going to have the 3 of you kids all by himself (BWAAAhhhhaaahhhaa!! *gasp* HAAA!) you're going to have to take on some new responsibilities. I need you to make sure Daddy changes your diaper so make sure you scream EXTRA loud to let him know....Daddy's a little hard of hearing, ya know, so reeeeally wail for him. And do me a favor and have him send me a picture of you kids on my cell phone every 30 minutes so I can make sure you're alive just in case I'm missing your cute faces.

Make sure that Daddy's staying on top of his chores while I'm gone. So if you see him sitting on the couch relaxing have Mason and Boogie make a giant mess for him to clean up let him have a few minutes to himself. It's good for him, trust me.

Don't forget to have Daddy feed you dinner, and remind him that fruit puffs don't count. If he gives you those throw them all over the floor ask him for a jar of food instead.

And tonight when Daddy puts you to bed make sure you scream for at least a half hour go right to bed like a good girl.

Be good baby girl and keep those boys in line....you're the woman of the house now! Tell Daddy if he has any questions to call his mom give me a call. I love you all and I'll miss you more than you'll ever understand....I'll see you tomorrow night...

Love,
Mommy

pee esss...have Daddy send me a picture of you kids holding the morning newspaper so I know you made it through the night....kisses and hugs to all my babies....

{my baby girl's growing up...}

I'm taking you to school...

A little education never hurt anybody!! It's time to expand your knowledge on the finer things in life....like Chuck Norris fun facts. You ready to get schooled?! Put on your listening ears, because here we go...


Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity.....twice.

Chuck Norris's calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.


Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

When God said "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said "Say please".

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.



But don't worry...now that you've freshened up on your Chuck Norris knowledge, you've been sanctioned as...



pee esss....I'm a guest over at the Lilac Grove....go on and check it out...


**for more chuck norris fun facts go here**

A little OCD never hurt anybody.....

I've always noticed Mason has certain little... 'ticks'. He has these little ticks that just make him the crazy little crackhead spirited whipper snapper that he is. Like his OCD traits. Yesterday he was playing WII so mommy could take a nap as a reward for having a great day at school, and when I asked him to shut it off he literally had a meltdown because one of the ranking spots had a zero score in it. Let me explain, there were slots for 1st through 5th place, and he had only played 4 times...the fact that one of the spots said zero literally had him in hysterics. It had nothing to do with getting more play time, it was the zero that just plagued him. You could see it in his eyes that his entire mental balance depended on this zero being replaced with a score. The poor kid was losing it! So I let him play one last time, the score showed, and he was hunky dory. No zeros. Life is good. My own little Howard Hughes in training. Mama's so proud.

This got me thinking of the 'ticks' this little family unit has. Take Jordan for instance (bus...meet Jordan as he goes under it). Jordan HAS TO make the bed every night before getting in it. I KNOW!! That doesn't make any sense!!! Why make the bed when you're going to get IN the bed?? But whatev...he has to or he can't sleep. So last night it's about 1am and I'm nestled in bed dreaming of Jordan hand feeding me delicious pizza and chocolate shakes in his little loin cloth...yeah that's right...meoooooww...when all of a sudden hunky loin cloth dream Jordan turns into creepy-gonna smother your face with a pizza-freaky Jordan and I wake up to find him standing next to me MAKING THE BED OVER ME!!!!

WHAT. THE. HECK???!!!!

Now I'm glad you've got to center your chi or whatever the heck you're doing, but you don't have to WAKE ME UP because you're OCD is on overdrive!!! It's 1AM! And I was PERFECTLY comfortable, thank you very much! Get the flip in bed!! And put the loin cloth back on!!!!

So yeah....we're a little OCD up in this piece. But I can't say I'm surprised....Mason is exactly like ME!! HAHA!! Poor poor soul....I know exactly where he gets his crazy genes personality from! So you wanna know my biggest 'tick'? For the longest time, anything I did with my right hand I would mirror with my left. Discreetly though....it wasn't completely obvious or anything. So when I would write with my right hand, my pointer finger on the left hand would rub on the desk and mirror it. I've learned to control myself now, BUT now I have the awesome ability to do this....go on....watch it...

{my hands look freaky in that...stupid phone camera}

But anyhow...Now I write with both hands at the same time mirroring each other. It's like second nature now, but I bet you could do it. Go try, you know you want to...I won't tell...but let me know if it works! See....at least my weird obsession doesn't WAKE PEOPLE UP in the middle of the night and take away hunky mane meat in skimpy outfits with DELICIOUS pizza.....

No rhyme or reason....just gas

Dude. I stink. Seriously. I'm so gassy it's ridiculous. Uggghhhh. It's kind of hard to focus on writing because the stench is just pungent. Like hot mustard meets sumo took a dump on a burning tire pungent. You know it's bad when you make your own eyes water. I guess that's what I get for slightly cheating on my diet....and eating an entire pot of beans in the last 2 days..What? Don't look at me like I'M crazy. They're gluten, dairy, meat, and seafood free. Moving on....

I've missed you all this weekend. We were non friggin stop since Friday...here's the low-down...

FRIDAY NIGHT- Snuggled on Miss E's new baby girl, whom I love and adore and want to keep as my own....I love new baby smell, it's better that puppy breath.

{the new little miss....gorgeous like her mama}

Went to go hang out with Miss B at the hospital because she was STILL pregnant...that's right. She was induced Thursday morning and still no baby by Friday night! Yeah. No thank you.

SATURDAY- Our morning was historic. Mason had his first soccer game and he did AMAZING! Can you say VICTORY?! We totally trashed the other team. Not that it's about winning.... pfffttt....BAH!... Oh my gosh that's such a LIE! It's totally about being the winner winner chicken dinner!! WHOOP WHOOP! And I am now an official soccer mom. Official- like a ref with a whistle, as we like to say in these parts. It was a proud moment. I channeled my inner Victoria Beckham and I worked that field like it was nobody's business. And by worked I mean- screamed and yelled from the sidelines while snapping photos and handing out snacks, with a baby on my hip and a flip of the hair. That's how I roll yo.

Checked in with Miss B- still pregnant.....yeah. I know.

Then we decided to pack up and head out for the weekend. So we took the kids up to the grandparent's for a little mini-vacay. While the kids tormented the in-laws, the hubs and I headed out for some fun and hit up a friends wedding reception. Now I'd love to post on that, but I just can't. I'll leave it at that. BUT on the bright side I had on a faaaaabulous outfit!!

Checked in with Miss B- FINALLY had her sweet little man that evening!!! Poor girl had been in there since THURSDAY morning...yikes.

{the new little man....watch out ladies!}

Rocked out to some Phil Collins and Wreckx-N-Effect....ya know...all I wanna do is a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom, just shake your rump!

SUNDAY- Chillleeeeed. Didn't do a dang thing except head home to go snuggle Miss B's stubborn little man, who I plan on adding to my collection of 'babies I want to stick in my purse and take home'.

All in all it was an awesome weekend, full of good times, babies, rump shaking tunes, and a heck of a lot of beans.

Note to self: no more beans.

Alright, the stench is killing me, I've got to go to share some of this sweet aroma with the hubs. Curses to IBS....and delicious beans. I'll be back tomorrow in full effect. If you need me before then, check the toilet.

Babies, babies, and duuuuuke

Remember how I told you how 3 of my besties were knocked up with little hooligans of their own? Well 2 of them went into labor yesterday!! Sucks for them!WHOOP WHOOP! Kiss your life goodbye ladies, because it's all downhill from here! Burn the skinny jeans and embrace the yoga pants!! I kid. I joke. Relax....oh, and breeeeathe....he he hoooo

I'm so happy to say that my lady, we shall call her Miss E, delivered at noon a beautiful and healthy baby guuuurl. I'll reveal photos and info and that fun stuff another day, I want mama to get first dibs at that! But man....she's going to be one gooooorgeous little girl...I'm gonna have to lock up my boys in a few years!

And my other lady, Miss B, is STILL laboring!!! Over 24 hours!! UGGHHHHHH shoot me in the face. AND she's already over a WEEK overdue. That dear woman.....she deserves an award. Or at least an ice cold Red Bull and a back rub. But Miss B is the epitome of patience, truly she is. Her story isn't mine to tell, but this baby has been a long time in the making....8 years or so....so I guess another day isn't too long to wait...right?

Who the freak am I kidding???? YES IT IS!!! Buuuuuut at least the hospital cafeteria has some awesome food. Blech. I'm trying to find a bright side to this....ohhhh here's one....just think of how cute baby Ryder will be when he's spitting up on these.....

{adorable burp rags made by Kristen}

Bright side. Found it! But for real, I'm so stoked to go snuggle on some sweet babies and give them back when I'm done!! HA! Lucky for me they both live down the street so I can get my baby fix anytime....because apparently Little Miss Presley has decided that she wants to grow up.

Sigh.

I can't talk about it. It's really a sore subject right now. I've tried to talk reason into her, but she won't listen. And to make things worse, she's decided that she wants to....TALK! That's right, Presley knows her first word. She's been copying sounds for quite some time, but this is her first WORD. When she says it she knows EXACTLY who she wants. And it's NOT Mom. It's not even Dad! Nope. It's Duke. Who's Duke, you're asking? Ahem. He's my mother's DOG. Mmmmhmm. Her mangy mutt. So here she is ladies and gents...Little Miss Presley saying her first word.. *tear*

PS- after the whole pill fiasco with Mason we decided to go back to his old medicine...yeah...nice. I'm glad we scarred our son for life all for NOTHING!